The most important sexual organ you possess as a man is your mind. You must use your mental powers to arouse a woman and to handle her objections and fears to get her into bed. In many ways, you’re going to have to talk your way into bed. Before discussing her fears, however, I want to warn you about your own. You cannot have a negative internal dialogue with yourself and all sorts of doubts and negative thoughts racing through your brain when you’re seducing a woman or you will surely sabotage yourself. So don’t allow yourself to dwell upon your fear of rejection, your inadequacies, or any doubts you have about yourself. You must stay positive and expect the best to occur every time you are with a woman. Believe in yourself, relax, and have fun. Women will be less likely to resist any move you make if you are natural and carefree. Like a beautiful young woman once told me, “The fewer a guy’s worries are, usually the more attractive he is.”
Much of the criteria upon which a woman bases her decision on whether or not she is going to give it up revolves around her basic fears. A woman must first be free of any anxiety or fears before she will invite you to ravage her. You need to clear away the obstacles to the bedroom. Understand a woman’s fears and you can leverage a woman’s point of view to your advantage.
A woman has three main fears that you need to handle to clear the path to pleasure, ease, and her enjoyment of sex. First, she fears that she is not as beautiful as she needs to be, or could be, or should be. Women are always worried about their weight, the size of their breasts, their wardrobe, and their overall attractiveness. To eliminate these fears of inadequacy, tell her how beautiful she is. Tell her what you think of her skin, her neck, her legs, and especially her eyes. But don’t mention her breasts unless they’re perfect and not until you have already caressed them. Complement her about her clothes, her eye makeup, her jewelry, and never, NEVER critize her or belittle her in any way when you’re making your move toward the bedroom.
Her second biggest fear is her fear of abandonment. She needs to feel that after you make love to her that you are still going to be with her in the future. Reassure her that you are now a part of her life. In your pre-bedroom conversation, tell her how much you look forward to spending time with her in the future, and explain why you can see the two of you together for a long time, and talk about exciting things you will do together over the weeks and months ahead.
The third big fear to handle before getting a woman into bed is her fear of unwanted pregnancy or contracting the AIDS virus. You deal with this fear by broaching the subject of condoms before you get all hot with passion. Most women now days will not have sex with you unless you’re wearing a condom. As a Chinese girlfriend of mine was fond of saying, “No cover wang, no get bang!” Your job is to reassure her ahead of time that you use condoms and that you have a supply of them on hand. Look for ways to talk about the subject of condoms in a non-threatening way. Say something sometime early on like, “I think it’s really important that people use condoms when making love.” Try to word it in a way that uses third party names and references; don’t say ‘you’ like to use condoms don’t you.