Dating A Stripper: The Pros, Woes and the Hos

It’s totally unfair to say that one can’t have a successful adult dating relationship with a stripper. First off, not all strippers are alike, however, there sure are relationship problems which are specific to working in the industry. You need to figure out how to tell if the two of you will be compatible.

Why is she stripping? This can be a telling factor in whether you may want to stay with her or not. If she is working her way through college, then it may be possible to set your feelings about her job to the side. But, if she strips because it gives her power or makes her feel desirable, then be prepared for a low self esteem and a whole lot of baggage. What are her future plans for her stripping? Is it just a gig or does she see it as a career? In the event that she got fired, many strippers find it difficult to transition into a regular job because of their lack of job skills.

Is there intimacy between you and her? When a stripper spends every night forcing intimacy with strangers, it can be difficult to not force it at home. Also, after she feels objectified by men night after night, she might not be excited to find a horny boyfriend at home. When it comes to the pros of dating a stripper, there are some benefits. She is probably good looking and has a nice body with a decent sense of rhythm. If she goes into her job with a rational mind, she will have entertaining stories to tell, and frankly, you will get to have what hundreds of guys are having a fantasy about.

Are there really pros to dating a stripper? I’m talking about the professionals, you know, the ones who take their craft to the next level and find another way to rake in more moony. There are many strippers who have sex or perform other acts with clients and unfortunately this is a large part of the lifestyle.

Ultimately, if you feel that none of this is a deal breaker, then give it a try. Don’t let us steer you away from something that could be true love relationship.

The Top Sex Bummers

Every couple, whether it be a casual sex partner or a in serious dating relationship, has suffered the ultimate not so sexy adult fantasy which end up turning off the perspective partner in bed. So, the next time you find yourself in an embarrassing situation, take a count of the following points:

Sex with my ex: Imagine screaming someone else’s name when you’re about to orgasm. If this happens, it is likely going to make your partner feel estranged. Though fantasies are an essential part of gratifying sex, expressing fantasies in such an unexpected way can often put an end to your relationship.

Nature’s call: Often confused with a squirting orgasm, it is related to the pressure applied on the bladder due to sexual stimulation. So, never force yourself to climax, if you’re feeling like relieving yourself. Make sure you have attended nature’s call before you gear up for sex.

Oops, I farted: Make sure your digestive system is in the right place before you indulge in a make out session. It is also recommended to consume a digestive pill or opt for a brisk walk after the meal to make the food settle down.

Nailed: Many couples end up scratching each other’s bodies with their sharp nails. It may be an act of pleasure for you, but your partner might not be enjoying the pain as much. Cut and file your nails so that they do not lead to painful scratches on your partner.

Self stimulation: Avoid touching your spots repeatedly, let your partner have the privilege to arouse you but touching your erotic zones.

The silent quotient: How would you feel if your partner remianed silent throughout the whole act of sex? Not a great feeling of course! Your partner loves hearing your moan and scream to know that you’re having a good time.

Napping tapping: It’s often a common occurrence to see your partner falling asleep time and time again while you’re in the mood to fuck. It’s always a good idea to grab a sound sleep after sex and not let it come in the way of seeking pleasure.

30 Hilarious Reasons Why People Have Sex

We all know why physically want and need sex. We have sex with people we love and we have sex with adults simply because we are aroused and we are sexually attracted to them. But did you know there are many different reasons why people have sex other than to please themselves and their partners? Here is a candid list of some of the many reasons why people have sex.

1. The Condom is About to Expire Sex

2. Need to Burn off those Calories I Ate at Dinner Sex

3. My Batteries in my Vibrator are dead Sex

4. I Cheated and I don’t Want You to Know About it Sex

5. I Desperately Want You to Love Me Sex

6. Thank You for Paying My Rent Sex

7. I Made you Watch Sex and the City 2 Sex

8. My Best Friend is Getting Married and I hate it Sex

9. Nothing is on TV Sex

10. I woke up with the Most Impressive Morning Wood Sex

11. Just Waxed My Bikini Area Sex

12. My Period is Due Tomorrow Sex

13. I’m Curious About Sleeping with a Minority Sex

14. You Look Like a Celebrity Doppelganger Sex

15. I Saw How Hot You Looked in Your Recent Facebook Photos Sex

16. I Want You to Stop Bothering Me for Sex Already Sex

17. I’d Rather Not Give You A Blowjob Tonight Sex

18. I’m Drunk and You Seem Hot Sex

19. Funerals Make Me Horny Sex

20. I Just Watched Porn and Don’t Want You to Know About it Sex

21. Reading Twilight Made me Wet Sex

22. I Want to Hear the STAR WARS theme in the background Sex

23. I Want to Distract You From Asking Me Why My Ex Text Me Sex

24. We Paid Too Much Money on This Hotel Room Sex

25. Don’t Want to be the only person not doing it on Valentine’s Day Sex

26. I want to know if Your Breasts are Real Sex

27. That Sex Scene between Mary Louise Parker and Zack Morris on WEEDS Really Turned Me On Sex

28. I want Something to Tweet About Tomorrow Morning Sex

29. I wonder what Crime Scene Sex Really Looks Like Sex

30. Trying to Avoid Watching Jersey Shore Tonight Sex

Can you think of others?

How To Attract A Hipster

If you live in the city, spotting a hipster is as easy as spotting tufts of hair on Oscar Winner Mo’nique’s legs. We are always taught to avoid these affected individuals by all costs, however there are always those few hipster chicks and fellas that always seem to win us over at one point. If you are thinking about dating or having sex with a bohemian snob douchebag, then here are a few things you need to know:

Dress Like a Hipster

In order to attract a hipster, you need to become a hipster. This requires an entire wardrobe makeover, but that’s okay because most the things you can buy you can find at thrift stores for dirt cheap. First things first, buy some vintage apparel and then buy skinny jeans and pants from American Apparel. (Do not admit you bought them from American Apparel though. Take the hipster vow of silence.) Then head to a store that iron transfers pictures onto T-shirts so you can showcase your knowledge of obscure television and cinema. Artwork from 70′s to 80′s Italian horror films will definitely turn some hipsters heads. Also, wear T-shirts showcasing canceled TV shows, sitcoms and cartoons. Make sure the show was not that mainstream. Getting a ‘Central Perk’ shirt will not help your adult dating life. Getting a ‘Jennifer Slept Here’ T-shirt will definitely score you some points.

Buy Accessories

Buy big headphones to wear on the street as well as big black sunglasses like the kids wore in Less Than Zero. (You don’t know the movie? Rent it! That is basic hipster pop culture knowledge.) Make sure to buy a gray or black striped toque that drapes off your head and buy a unisex striped scarf to dangle over your jacket. Also, if you’re a guy, grow a long and sporadic dirty beard. Hipster chicks will go nuts!

Build An LP collection

It may be a frightening thought, but you must step into a record store and pick out albums that will stand out in your collection. Hipsters pride themselves for their music knowledge and as long as it’s not top 40 garbage, you will do okay. Buy 70′s funk and soul albums from Leon Ware, Herbie Hancock and Miles Davis. Buy Hip Hop albums from Mad Lib and MF Doom. Buy rock albums from Pink Floyd and The Flaming Lips. If you are panicking, go with Serge Gainsbourg. It works like a charm.

Watch Obscure Cinema

Hipsters pride themselves for knowing movies the general public does not, which means you have to also bone up on your movie watching knowledge. In order to do this, go to a privately-owned video store and chat up the lame hipster movie geek behind the desk. He will make you watch anything by Hal Hartley, Francois Ozon and any film directed by Woody Allen after 2002. Then you should head out to the small theatre you never go to because of the lack of selection. The “lack of selection” is a hipster’s dream. Watch foreign films, old horror films and documentaries. If you don’t know the movie the picture above is from, then you haven’t been doing your homework.

Never Get Too Excited

Hipsters like to mock things religiously and even when they do like something, they don’t act too excited about it. If they bring something up like a group or band, immediately retort back with, “Yeah, but they’re not as good as (fill in the random obscure indie reference here). Talking with your hipster is like a tug of war battle of wits.

Only Go To Micro Breweries

Hipsters don’t like beer. They like ale. Pale Ale or anything with Raspberry wheat. Make sure you take them somewhere where there is not a ‘domestic or imported’ beer list on the menu.

Know Your Fruit

Sounds silly I know, but hipsters primarily like shopping at smelly fruit shops in Chinatown. Instead of picking up apples, pick up goji berries instead. You want some oranges? Get Huando seedless oranges instead.

Invest in a Type Writer iPad Application

Never send your hipster a text. Write out letters to them on type-writer application you can apply on your iPad instead. Then scan your messages onto your computer and post them on your blog. Major points there.

So if you still want to pursue this hipster after this long list, by all means be my guest.