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1. ColdPlay
These guys are all same low-hum melody and ‘I love her yellow eyes’ and ‘she’s so amazing’ and ‘let’s run through the mountains together’. Coldplay fans want to be slow-rocked into bliss by Chris Martin. They want to let it burn on and on and on. They don’t want to be rushed. Or maybe they aren’t even sure how to fuck very well and wish they could just love in the mountain air purely instead of getting down into that dirty sex business. Or maybe they are waiting for a bearskin rug in front of a roaring winter fire. Or maybe they are waiting for Chris Martin himself to love them up. Or Gwyneth Paltrow with her goopy-goop for that matter.
2. Lady Gaga
Typical. Gaga is all showy sex and no substance. Just like people who talk about fucking constantly but never really do it. People like to say Gaga has substance, but she really doesn’t. She’s an empty mindfuck. She’s a terrible tease. She’s all talk and no action. She is totally, totally lame. And so are her fans.