In case you have been living under a rock or had the good luck of avoiding the creepy religious man at the corner of a busy intersection, (every city has one) you know that Judgment Day is vastly approaching and in just a few days, every adult will pay for their sins on May 21st, 2011. Even though the validity of the upcoming events is as believable as Y2K propaganda, many people are fearing the possible outcome that May 21st may be the last day this World has to offer us.
Instead of crying and sitting in a Pew praying for God to spare you and your loved ones, why not take the advantage of repenting for all your dating sins by releasing your “Get Out of Jail Free” card upon your lover? What would you say to your partner if the end was going to end? Here are a few choice examples:
1. “The weight you’ve put on has not gone unnoticed.”
2. “Your love for reality shows disgust me.”
3. “I’m still in love with my ex. Sorry.”
4. “Your friend are losers and you are who you hang out with.”
5. “I have not had one real orgasm with you. Ever.”
6. “I’ve always noticed the period stains on your lingerie.”
7. “Your career path is really just a hobby. Give it up.”
8. ” I would totally bang your mom.”
9. “I lost interest in shaving because I lost interest in you.”
10. “Your penis looked a lot bigger when we first started dating.”
11. “I hate your smell.”
12. “I would rather eats shards of glass then look at your god damn face one more time.”
13. ” Your cooking skills are on par with your blowjob skills.”
14. “Your friends are right. I am totally gay.”
15. “Your constant refusing to have anal sex made me cheat on you with numerous different partners.”
16. “Your taste in music makes me not want to know you anymore.”
17. ” You are not Carrie Bradshaw.”
18. “I’m afraid of being alone. You are too. That’s why we’re together and you know it.”
19. “I rather jack off then have sex with your loose vagina.”
20. “I love you because you support me….financially.
However, if the world does not end, you’re going to wish it had if you say anything on this list. You have been warned.