So you just started dating a reasonable adult woman and are wondering if you are looking for a potential courtship or a casual dating relationship. There are many unattractive qualities about certain single men and women but nothing will turn you off more than a Stage 5 Clinger.
A stage 5 clinger is a term first used in the film Wedding Crashers and it is a person who gets far too clingy early on in a relationship. According to the Urban Dictionary, the definition of a Stage 5 clinger is ‘a member of the opposite sex that is likely to become overly attached, overly fast.
Getting overly attached to someone is fairly unhealthy, however it is even more unhealthy and even considerably dangerous for the other partner. There are certain red flags that you should consider before pursuing a relationship with somebody that exhibits the following qualities and behaviors.
Getting Jealous Far Too Soon
You just started dating this person and you’re out for a night on the town with them and your friends. You go to the bar and somebody asks you for a light. If your partner starts freaking out, throwing a drink in your face and preparing to fight over you, then you have a “Stage 5 clinger” on your hands.
Your Phone Becomes Your Worst Enemy
A stage 5 clinger will start messaging your cute texts at the beginning. You won’t feel alarmed until you start getting texts every 10 minutes. They’ll have a lot of LOLs and MISS U XOXO in every message. They’ll tell how much they’re thinking about you every hour on the hour. They constantly want to know what you’re doing and if you’re thinking of them…even if you’re sitting on the toilet. If you can put your phone on vibrate and could use it as a sex toy, then you have a clinger!
You’ve Been Tapped Googled
A clinger has a tendency to do their research on you and Google is their best friend. They start googling your name and finding any piece of information they can get on you. Suddenly they start talking about interests of yours that they have immediately adopted for their own and questioning who is with you in a picture and what your relationship to that person is.
They Treat You Like Elmyra
Your clinger will cling to you physically as well as emotionally. If they hug you and you feel like how Buster Bunny on Tiny Toons feels when being hugged by Elmyra, then you are in for trouble, my friend.
If you have no intention on working on this relationship, then get out now! Otherwise, prepare for a world of misery.