Why We Stay

Out of loyalty, for the kids and sometimes even for the

It’s all in the pay-off. It’s all about us getting what we need to get through our lives and relationship. It’s all about some sort of need we have that gets met even if in the process of meeting the need of our lover, we struggle to stay afloat.

Other people can criticize an emasculated man, but the man allows the emasculation. Her girlfriends might curse their friend’s demanding and demeaning husband, but the woman stays because in the end, even if the man cuts his woman’s self esteem to the quick, the woman is still getting something much more from staying then she imagines she would leaving.

It’s the classic Florence Nightingale Syndrome, the reason men gravitate towards needy women and why the abused stay with their abusers. The life we know fulfills some need, even if staying is not good for our general mental or physical health.

The agony of supposing a life with the need met, the habit broken, the addiction fulfilled and submerged is often so scary that even when we are full-up, done, complete with why we have stayed in the relationship we might stay longer or even search for another just like it once we leave it. Time and again we repeat patterns to either cure ourselves of what we missed somewhere in our development or because we are not yet full-up from what we need.

Six Cohabiting Passion Killers

Once you reached the stage to moving in together in your adult dating life, things at first seems like a dream come true. You find yourself playing house and having sex on an hourly basis. Unfortunately, the more time goes by, the more comfortable you will be around one another which means you will allow each other to see how hygenically-deficient you really are. It doesn’t matter how safe you are, if you live together you will never be able to hide the fact that you are in fact human and a dirty one at that. Here are just a handful of passion and mood killers in relationships and how you can solve them.

Toe Nail Clippings

You ever found yourself sitting on the couch and are covered in various shaped toe nail clippings? Some are rolled up, some are covered in chipped nail polish and some are simply shaped like mini boomerangs scattered around you. Finding these toe clippings can kill your libido and your last nerve. All you need to do is make sure to clip your toe nails in the bathroom and discard your toe clippings in the waste basket and toilet. It’s really as simple as that.

Farts

The first fart in the relationship is always a funny and memorable one. All of sudden, you two are cracking up and in some way it’s a bonding experience for the both of you. Unfortunately, the more frequent the farts get, the more likely it is you will not be turned on to your partner like you used to. Letting out a fart when you’re laughing so hard is funny. Letting out a wet fart in bed when you’re lying naked beside your partner or letting one go in the middle of receiving oral sex is unacceptable. If your bodily functions are frequent, take some BEANO and make sure not to eat junk food or dairy before you go to bed.

Cum Rags

We all know sex can be messy, but one thing it shouldn’t be is disgusting. When you first get together, you always made sure to equip yourself with a box of Kleenex by the bedside and it would be quickly disposed of. Once you’ve been together for a long time, you will notice piles of dirty clothes with hard white stains on them. This is unacceptable. Treat your rags like you would your used condoms. Get rid of them as soon as you can!

Skid Marks

Guys are most notorious for leaving horrifying skid marks on their underwear and most times their girlfriends are the ones who discover it. Nothing turns off a woman more than a guy who can’t seem to wipe his own ass properly. Make sure to buy 2 ply toilet paper and to do your own laundry for now on if you have this problem.

Menstrual Blood

There is nothing more disgusting to a man than looking at menstrual blood….especially when it’s all over the toilet seat and bathroom floor. Not only is it a turn off, it also is a frightening sight as well. Women need to be far more ‘aware’ of their surroundings when applying or inserting pads or tampons to avoid embarrassment.

“Number 2″

Remember the times when it seemed like neither of you ever went to the bathroom? Well when you live with one another, you will unfortunately get to notice how often both you go to the bathroom for “number two.” It could be quite appalling when you manage to stink up the entire apartment or house and it can be equally appalling when hearing the grunts and groans come from the bathroom. Make sure to turn on the tap, invest in air fresheners and to always turn on the fan after you are done.

Not So Subtle Flirting Techniques

When it comes to adult dating, men are still very fearful of the idea of rejected when trying to pursue a woman. It could be difficult to look for the signs of flirting from the opposite sex, but let me tell you now that women are not as sly as you think they are. By picking up on their not so subtle cues, you’ll be able to have no problem approaching a woman for her number in no time. There are at least eight major flirting techniques women use when they feel attracted to you. Once you can decipher them, you can then actually work on being charming rather than clueless. Remember, not all charming men are as confident as may think. They just simply know how to read the signs.

1. She’s Having The Night Of Her Life

You ever notice when a woman looks like she’s having the best time of her life with her lifesavers friends? Have ever noticed she seems to be smiling too often and laughing like a Julia Roberts hyena while stealing quick glances at you? This is a major hint that she wants you to see as a fun and confident woman to be with…even if she looks like she’s been inhaling the Joker’s laugh gas.

She Consistently Makes Subtle Eye Contact With You

Women are sometimes blind to the fact that their flirting techniques are obvious to many. She thinks she’s hiding her intentions by only glancing at you every so often. She acts like she doesn’t want you to know she’s actually the one pursuing you, by convincing herself that you will make the first move.

The Katie Holmes Half Grin

When a woman is checking you out, she will pull a Katie Holmes and give you subtle half smile while then looking down. This coy smile is a dead giveaway.

She Micro-Primps

After all she knows all the “tricks” up her sleeve have worked, she will finally notice you noticing her. Once she knows, watch her very carefully. She will then start applying her lip gloss, pulling down on her skirt and smoothing away her fly away hairs in a desperate attempt to look her best for you.

She Strokes Herself

Get your mind out of the gutter. I don’t mean THAT kind of “stroking.” A woman that is trying to flirt with you will also run her fingers through her hair and stroke her neck. She’s stroking the parts of her body she wants you to notice without being explicit.

She Sounds Like She’s In A Movie

When you do finally approach the woman who is flirting with you, she will make sure that she is the best version of herself. Every line out of her mind is witty if not well thought out before. Her tone of voice may sound a little different than it usually would and every coming out of her mouth has a certain rhythm to it.

Bedroom Eyes

When a woman really wants you, all you have to do is look into her eyes. If she’s staring at your face, batting her eyelashes and looking coy, she is giving you the “bedroom eyes.” Once this happens….KISS HER!!!

How To Disguise Your Walk Of Shame

After a great night of sex with a stranger, boyfriend or casual lover comes the much hated walk of shame. When it comes to our adult dating lives, walks of shames for women happen for more often than you would think. You don’t have to be a college student in a dormitory anymore to experience these embarrassing if not revealing walks.

However, there are ways to disguise your post-coital stroll home and here are a few simple ways on how to do so:

Big Purse

I know the clutches are pretty ladies, but they are not practical especially if you sense a late night hook up in the near future. You will need a bigger sized purse to have the following products on handy.

Eye Make-Up Remover

Saliva and toilet paper can only take off so much eyeliner, so be equipped with a reliable and gentle eye make-up remover to quickly get rid of raccoon/crackhead eyes.

Dentaburst Strips!

I know these toothbrush substitutes look like pantyliners for your fingers, however they do work wonders especially when your breath smells of morning funk, alcohol and stale cigarettes.

Dr. Scholl’s Flats For Her

If you don’t feel like walking around in your sequin-covered stilettos for your embarrassing walk home, rely on this compact black rubber flats to get you through. It also doesn’t hurt that they look fashionable as well.

Compact Hair Brush

You will need to tame your “I just got banged” disheveled hair and compact hair brushes are perfect when you are on the go. Purchase the ones with a compact mirror for last minute check ups as well.

Hipster Scarf

Typically, no one wants to walk around 8am in the morning wearing a plunging halter top from the night before. That is why having a big flowing scarf is essential to help you disguise your elaborate evening outfit from the night before.

Sunglasses

You most likely will be suffering a mild to a serious hangover the day after which is why you should always have a pair of shades on handy to prepare you for the sunny morning and to help hide your puffy eyes.

Bathroom Play

There are certainly those people who have a certain kinks or

How to be Even More Popular with Men

Being popular with men is a fine balancing act. On one hand you want to appear open enough for men to feel you’re approachable, but on the other hand you don’t want to appear desperate or needy which acts as a fantastic guy repellent (except for those types of men who want to save us, which I recommend you avoid).

Radiate Confident Happiness

To men, a smiling woman is a happy woman, and a happy woman is far more likely to give them the time of day, or the chance to get to know her, than the women who’s lost in her own worries and concerns. Yes, we all have bills we’re not sure how to pay, and cars that break down without notice, and family members who get sick. Life is never ever going to go exactly how we want. But you can be happy anyway, or you can at least do your best to put a happy face on when you’re out and about in places where you meet men – and that means just about everywhere.

But what if you’re use to being “off in a cloud” or worry constantly? Remind yourself to stop. Leave yourself a little note in your wallet and in your car reminding you to lighten up and get happy. Try it for two solid weeks and I’m sure that you’ll see a difference.

Be a Master Flirt

Okay, obviously radiating confident happiness and flirting means that you need not only to be smiling but saying a cheerful hello to men that catch your eye. But do you know the international signs of flirting females all over the world have sent to men for all the ages? Not sure? Let’s revue – you catch the eye of a good looking guy across a crowded room, you hold strong eye contact for a moment, look away and look back again. It’s that easy! Do this a few times, and if the man is interested (and clued in), he’ll make the move to come and get to know you. When talking to a man you’re interested in women tend to tilt their head to one side or the other, and keep their eyes on his face. To turn up the heat a notch touch his arm or shoulder to emphasize a point. This will give him the signal that you’re comfortable with him being in your personal space. And to turn the heat up a few notches even higher “triangle” him – that is – rather than just watching his eyes move your focus from his eyes to his mouth and back. You’ll be sending him the subconscious signal that you’re wondering what it would be like to kiss him.

But what about the signals men send to letting you know he wants to know you better? Here are two great clues from Susan Rabin’s 101 Ways to Flirt:

The Tie Stroke

Just as women lick their lips when flirting (and toss their hair) men also “preen” by stroking their tie or the lapel of their suit.

The Eyebrow Flas

Apparently not only the eyes are the windows to the soul, but so are the eyebrows. Susan notes of a man’s eyebrows when talking to you, “If they’re relaxed, even limp, you’re not his cup of tea. But if he is wide-eyed with brows flashing upward, it’s a sure sign that you’ve taken him by surprise – and he couldn’t be more delighted!”

Okay, so you’ve seen a guy you really want to talk to but there’s just been no way to catch his eye and let him know you’re interested? Susan has a great idea for that as well. A good friend of Susan’s overheard a woman during an intermission at the theater walk up to a man she’d been studying for some time and say, “I’ll bet there’s a story behind the ring you’re wearing.”

Now who doesn’t want to tell you the story behind a funky tie, a ring, an interesting hat, the book you’re reading – certainly not most men! They’ll be thrilled to fill you in on the item’s personal history.

Dress in Ways that Make You Happy

Unfortunately once many women start a serious career we spend the majority of our wardrobe money on career clothes and not on those for our free time. Don’t make this mistake. Make sure your weekend and dress up clothes are those you look and feel great in. Nothing sends a message of being a woman comfortable and happy in her own skin than a woman in an outfit she loves – and nothing attracts men more than a woman happy and comfortable in her own skin. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a favorite pair of jeans or a sexy cocktail dress that shows off your figure, if you feel good in what you’re wearing men are going to stand up and take notice.

Another good idea is to remember to ad a feminine touch to both your work and leisure apparel. Yes, I’m asking you to remember you’re a girl. That doesn’t mean you have to wear heavy make-up, fake nails, and dresses and skirts if they’re not your thing, but it does mean it might be time to take another look at how you’re stepping out of the house and making sure you’re putting your best feet forward.

Men do notice nicely pedicured hands and feet (and some men have serious foot fetishes). A few summers ago I bought a pair of very inexpensive bright pink thong sandals with a big flower on them – I’ve never ever received so many compliments on a pair of shoes from men in my life! This summer the styles are full of pretty flirty things that are sure to catch a man’s eye – make sure to add a few to your wardrobe. Even something as simple as a little silk flower pinned to your lapel, or a pretty hair clip added to your hairstyle can be enough encouragement for a man to come over and talk to you.

How to Be Approachable to Women in Bars & Nightclubs

“Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the confidence or take the risks. Yet most people don’t. They sit in front of the T.V. and treat life as if it goes on forever” – Philip Andrew Adams

I noticed two interesting things happening last night when I was out at a club in Hollywood to see a friend’s band:

1) Most of the men were completely stony faced
2) The very smooth moves of the guy who ended up getting my phone number Changing Your Public Face I don’t think most men have any idea of how foreboding they can look to women. Most of the men I saw last night could have frozen water with their faces. I know I’ve said it before, but it’s a very important point since scientists have found that most flirtations are actually set up by women – even though the men aren’t usually aware that it’s happening.

The mask most men put on to go out in public is one of “don’t mess with me” and women follow suit. We don’t mess with you. Unless you’re Chad Michael Murray or Jude Law gorgeous we don’t give you another look, and our gaze moves on to men who look more approachable. As the night wears on, unless alcohol loosens you up and makes you friendlier, you become more and more upset over not meeting any of the cute girls you’ve been sneaking glances at, and your face gets all the stonier. Women take you for being an angry pissed off sort and keep away, and by the end of the evening you are just that.

A face that keeps others away is important while riding the subway through a dangerous neighborhood, but it’s not the right one if you want to be meeting women. The next time you’re out at a club or bar notice the expressions and mannerisms of most male bartenders. They’re busy, but approachable. They engage women, but don’t cling to them because they’ve got too much going on. It’s a great act to follow.

Many of us, myself included, have naturally serious faces. It’s important to recognize this, because even if you’re not putting up a front when you go out, unless you make a serious effort to look approachable you won’t seem to be. This doesn’t mean you have to be a totally goof ball trying to entertain strangers, but it does mean you need to do things that make you appear approachable. I recommend you try the following;

1) When possible, go out with a friend who gets you out of your shell and talking. When women see men out enjoying themselves with a friend or two they find them more approachable. This, however, changes when it becomes a large group of men who have their own party going on.

2) Sit at the bar, when possible, instead of standing against a wall. Engage the people around you in small talk from time to time to show that you’re approachable and social.

3) If the place is packed don’t stay in one spot too long. Chances are you won’t see someone you like just from one spot, nor will she see you. If you do see someone you like you don’t want to be stuck in one place where you’ll constantly be glancing at her. Don’t, however, walk the club like a caged panther looking for an escape.

Meeting Women in Seven Easy Steps

Okay, so yes, I did give a guy my number last night. I’m going to share exactly how he pulled it off, because it was pretty smooth:

1) First off, he was with a few friends who were sitting on a couch, while I was sitting at the bar. I first noticed them because they seemed to be enjoying themselves while so many other men in the club looked pretty angry or bored.

2) Secondly, the first time he spoke to me he just asked if I knew the band currently playing. I admitted I didn’t, and then he asked who I was there to see. It was clever way to approach me because there was no way I could give a bitchy response unless I was an absolute bitch.

3) When the band he was there to see came on he approached again and asked what I thought of them. Fortunately for him they were really good. This gave us something to chat about a bit. He introduced himself and then went back to his friends.

4) After my girlfriend arrived he came up again and asked if we’d each like a drink. That was very cool, very chivalrous. I knew he was angling to talk more to me but I like that he included my friend. It’s easy to do because she’s very attractive and charming, but that shouldn’t stop you from including the friend of the woman you’re attracted to. It’s easy to let the one you’re really interested in know, hold her eye contact longer, and touch her on the arm or shoulder when talking to her.

5) He watched the band I’d come to see with us and gave them generous compliments. I know some men think that being “cocky and contrary” interests and excites women but it only turns me off. I’m looking for someone I have common interests with to enjoy my free time, not someone I have to debate.

6) He never stayed with us for more than fifteen minutes or more at a time and then he would go back to his friends, which showed they mattered to him. Towards the end of the evening when the bar had space he brought his friend up and introduced him, which showed nice manners.

7) He asked me if I’d like to go to a movie sometime rather than just asking for my number. I like a man with a plan. Let a woman know you’d like to take her out rather than just banter with her on the phone.

How To Create Powerful Personal Ads (Part-3)

Subject
Remember that women looking over their emails will often sort their mail by subject, deleting uninteresting-looking messages without even bothering to read them. Make that subject line something she'll probably find interesting. It's best to make sure it relates somehow to what she'd posted earlier. Show her you really read her posts and what she had to say. Keep it short; make it witty when you can. Never poke fun until you've come to know her reasonably well (at least wait until you've written her for a while, and she's come to know when you're being sarcastic). In other words, use your head.

Length
Ever been in a conversation when someone's made a very good point, but then they begin rambling about things that have nothing to do with the topic at hand? How often have you wished the whole thing were on videotape, so you could just stop listening and go on to the next thing without wasting any more of your time on what has become bunch of fluffy nonsense? With email the recipient can (and probably will) just go on to the next message.

Try to limit your post to 1-2 screens of text. Failing that, make sure you tell only as much as you feel you must to get your point across, nothing more. Stay on topic, then end. Remember, you don't have a captive audience.

Line Length
A nice little thing to remember is that not all computers handle messages in the same way. Messages that may look perfect on your screen may well arrive completely jumbled on someone else's. You can avoid this by limiting the length of your lines to no more than 65 characters. If your email program doesn't automatically wrap the text, no problem; just press 'return' after about every 10 words to make sure your lines are short enough.

Paragraphs
Try to skip lines between paragraphs and limit yourself to 5-10 lines per paragraph. The extra space is easier on your readers' eyes, and your text will have more impact.

Quoting
It's sometimes necessary to quote a section of text from a previous message the person on the other end sent you, as a reference for your response. Be sure to quote accurately, or you may hear complaints. Quote only as much text as necessary to make your point.

Tone
Perhaps the single most important aspect of good email writing. Make sure the tone fits the woman you're writing to. Remember, there really is a living person on the other end. Remembering this simple fact will help you accomplish what you wish with whomever your recipient happens to be. Think about your readers and tell them only what they need to know in order to understand you. If you're worried about style, write principally about those things that truly interest you. Keep everything short and crisp. Above all, write simply and honestly; if it wouldn't sound right coming out of your mouth, you probably shouldn't send it.