How To Spot An Eye Rapist

Have you ever been walking down the street and notice an adult man staring at you? Not just staring, but staring so intensely that it starts to freak you out? Well guess what? You were just a victim of eye rape.

According to the urban dictionary, an eye rapist is someone who will not stop staring at you and is most likely picturing you undressed. Eye rape is a far too common adult dating crime committed all the time by men of all ages and races. Female rape eye victims are everywhere, but like many women who endure visual sexual harrassment, they are in complete denial about what has just occurred.

Eye rapists tend to be anywhere from 20 to 55 years old. When they are not enjoying the company of strip clubs, they are on the prowl for other girls to eye rape. You can spot them outside of bus terminals, subway stations and outside of bars.

The eye rapist will strike by looking up at you while lowering their chins. They have no qualms about being blatant with their creepy stares and will usually be silent when they are sexually assaulting you with their eyes.

When you come in contact with an eye rapist, it is imperative to do anything to gross them out and I mean anything. Pick your nose, fart very loudly when you walk past them and hawk out spit onto the sidewalk.

Practice on nervous ticks and sporadic Tourette’s Syndrome-like bursts without laughing. You want these eye rapists to be completely turned off from you (and possibly scared off of you) and when you have that mastered, you will be able to walk the streets feeling safe again.

Don’t let eye rape ruin your life! Act like a crazy lady today!

Libido Fairies

If there is one thing I hate in The newest offensive adult metaphor comes out of Australia, where blogger Mia Freedman has kindly decided to introduce us to “Libido Fairies.” Yes, women have libido fairies apparently, although I’ve never been introduced to one, and all my lady partners have failed to mention this to me before.

According to Freedman, “female libido fairies have little in common with male libido fairies. This is probably because male libido fairies are not fairies, they are warriors. Almighty superhero warriors who wear full body armor, wield light sabres and have magic powers of resilience capable of withstanding virtually any threat.”

Oh yeah, man, my libido warrior is named Braveheart and wears a kilt and carries an, um, light sabre…in the Highlands…

Freedman goes on: “Female libido fairies however, can be fragile cretures. Really, they should live in a bubble. Possibly bubble wrap. Or at the very least, a carefully controlled ecosystem where they can be protected from the infinite number of seemingly innocuous things that can kill them. Like resentment.”

Do these fairies have magical xxx wands? Are they named Tinker Bell? Does Tinker Bell like chilling with Braveheart, or is she looking for more of a Peter Pan? Most importantly, where can I put my life saber?

The Sexy 'Purple Rain' Drinking Game

Looking to put a little magic in your adult dating life? Why not stay home and watch Purple Rain with your lover? Prince may look like a gay pirate, but that man sure knows how to be a sexy motherf*cker. No woman has p*ssy control around him. So why not dedicate your night to the Purple genius and improve your xxx life by watching one of the most cheesiest yet sexiest movies of the eighties!

One Sip

Take a Drink every time your hear the words ‘Purple Rain’

Take a Drink whenever you hear Prince referred to as “The Kid”

Take a Drink everytime Apollonia says ‘Sex Shooter.’

Take a Drink Whenever Morris Day says the word “What?”

Take a Drink every time Prince is on his motorcycle

 Two Sips

Take two drinks every time you hear Morris Day or Prince scream or squawk like a bird on stage

Take two drinks every time Prince wears purple

Take two drinks every time Prince storms off

Take two drinks every time Prince looks like he’s about to have an orgasm on stage

Take two drinks every time Prince uses his puppet

 Three Sips

Take Three drinks every time Prince hits Apollonia

Take three drinks every time Prince touches Apollonia’s Tits

Take three drinks every time Prince rejects Wendy and Lisa’s music

Take three drinks every time Prince cries

Take Three Drinks every time you see Prince in Lake Minnetonka

ENJOY!

How To Dirty Talk Like The Smurfs

Yesterday, I had to endure one of the most excruciating films any adult can sit through and if you guessed The Smurfs, you are correct! The only thing I found remotely enjoyable of this puke-inducing film was that the smurfs were prone to using the word ‘smurf” for curse words. These little smurfers didn’t give a smurf when it came to their potty mouths. And why should they? They come from a town that gang-smurfs Smurfette probably on an everyday basis. (Seriously, why is there only ONE female smurf? That thought disturbs me.)

It got me thinking about how it would be like to dirty talk like the smurfs do. Read the following phrases and practice them at home for fun or if you can’t say the real words because you’re in front of your children. Have a xxx smurfing good time!

I love the taste of your smurf. It tastes so smurfing good.
Never stop smurfing me!
I want to suck your big smurfing smurf.
I want your smurf so bad, you’re giving me blue smurfs.
I want you to smurf all over me. Smurf on my face!
Flick my smurf! Finger my smurf too. Oh yeah, that feels so smurfing good.
Oh smurf! Oh smurf! Oh Smurf!
Smurf me harder!
I want to bust my smurf berry all over you.
Use Your Smurf on me.
Say my name smurf!
Who’s Your Papa Smurf?
No smurf has ever been inside this deep.
Do you want me to put my smurf in your smurf?
Smurf me like a cowgirl!
I’m going to smurf you and smurf you until you smurf.
I love it when you nibbles on my smurfs.
Don’t you dare smurf until I say you can smurf!
I’m going to smurf you like a lollipop.
Do you like the way I smurf you, baby?
Make me scream like the naughty smurfette I am!
Smurf yourself. Let me watch.
I want you to smurf in my mouth.
Play With My Smurf!
Maybe You should smurf me, I’ve been really bad.
You can have any smurfhole you want.
Smurf me in the smurf! I can take it!
I want to smurf you. I want to smurf you like I never smurfed anybody before.

The Not So Blatant Signs of A Cheater

I know there are a lot of readers that come on to this site expecting the same adult dating relationship advice that every other female site has about adultery. Now let me tell you something, men are not as dumb as you think they may be. If they are having sex with another woman, they have successfully learned to avoid lipstick on their collars, credit card charges on their online billing accounts and they have learned to hide their saucy text messages from their mistresses.

Like every relationship, it is the little things that count the most. The little details can make and break your relationship and if you pay attention to certain details, you’ll be able to see the red flags that your partner may be cheating on you.

* He comes home smelling like soap and shampoo you don’t own.

*He seems far more spacey than usual. Like he is constantly daydreaming about something else.

* He takes his phone with him everywhere…even the bathroom.

* He has less money, yet is worker longer hours.

* He is a little too concerned with looks and buys new toiletries.

* He seems unfocused.

* He is too tired for sex.

* All of a sudden, he has a new interest in different types of music, movies and television shows.

* He always goes to bed after you go to sleep.

* He buys new socks and underwear.

* Your conversations are never about anything significant.

If you have checked off a good number of things on this list and suspect your significant other is cheating on you, then you have to go with your gut instinct. You can either bottle up your feelings or take the direct approach and ask him point blank. Sure, he could lie straight to face, however you will know if he is lying or not right away. It’s your decision whether you want to live with the lies or move on. It’s really your call.

The Origin of the "C" Word

Over the years, one starts to question how certain sex slang come to be and the word “cunt” has always fascinated me for it is such a strong sounding curse word. The “C” word is quite common to use as an expression one uses to describe a horrible woman in adult dating relationships and since 1973, it has been formally known as an actual word describing a female’s genitalia in Oxford’s Dictionary.

However, where did this harsh sounding word come from and why do so many Etymologists argue about it?

The word ‘cunt’ seems to first have been introduced on a list of streets names in London around 1230. The street name in question was named ‘Gropecuntelane’ and it was a street known for the dirtiest and lowest forms of prostitution.

The word is also believed to be derived from the German word, ‘kunton’ which refers to a female’s genitalia. The word wasn’t then referred to as a negative connotation to a woman’s vagina, but rather it embraced it. Food for thought.

Men, on the other hand, recognized something dark and repugnant about the word. Most men considered a cunt to be something to penetrate and ejaculate in simply to spread their seed. There was no romantic meaning towards the word and has now become a sex word that means the opposite of love and tenderness. This is why so many men today still use the “C” word as one of the most notorious and frequent insults directed at females.

Funny, how broken telephone works over the centuries.

Your Court

One of our most popular expressions say that the ball is in our court, which means it is our turn to make a decision and volley back. We also hear talk about dropping the ball, which is obviously a football metaphor about us not doing something that we were supposed to do. We are supposed to keep all of our balls in the air, or live up to all of our responsibilities. There are dress balls, military balls and when we have a good time, we usually say that we had a ball. Well, thanks to the world wide web and all of the adult dating websites, we can now pay attention to the other balls. You know those happy symmetrical anatomical ones that are often not discussed in polity company.

Whether the ball that we are concerned about is lurking around in our court, has been dropped on the field, is being juggled in the air, is hosting rich people or men in uniform, or providing us with a good time, we can use the Internet to enhance our experience. The world wide web contains a tremendous amount of resources on every subject in the entire world, and thanks to all of the advances in modern technology, we never ever have to feel uninformed.

Let’s not ignore those other balls that are so important, but that are often only spoken of in hushed tones. We need those too. Sometimes we need them touching our chin as we give their owner a heartfelt blow job. Other times we need to hold them in our hands as we kiss their owner passionately. Still other times we need to feel them slam up against us as we get very handily fucked from behind. No, they don’t get a lot of press, but they are probably the most necessary types of balls in our lives. And the Internet can help us to locate them and make friends with them.

Are High School Sweethearts Romantic Or Tragic Figures?

We all have a couple of friends that make our adult dating lives look pathetic and those friends are the “high school sweetheart” couples. They seem to have it all. They have a wonderful family and most likely a perfectly decorated home that makes the green-eyed monsters come out in all of us who did not have the fortunate luck of finding the one in high school. Looking at them makes us wish the DeLorean time machine was real so we can travel 88mph back to the past to wipe our slate clean of past romantic indiscretions. You would be naive to think that these seemingly happy high school sweetheart do not wish for the same thing.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are many adult people that have married and lived with their high school sweetheart for years and lead normal and happy lives. Unfortunately, there are so many more that are living co-dependent lives are stuck by the familiarity, security and comfort their seemingly stable relationships bring.

If I could back in time and make things different with my high school boyfriend, I would resent my decision deeply. It doesn’t matter that I would be saving myself from the many painful and humiliating sexual and romantic failures that would later occur in my life. Breakups and heartache are life lessons everybody needs to go through especially at a young age. It is only through our failures and mistakes in which we learn how to grow up and find the one who is truly compatible for us.

Imagine how your high school sweetheart friends feel behind closed doors. Do you think the notion of not having their hearts broken does not affect them in some way? Do you think that may be their houses are so decorated because they really want their friends and family to think they have it all together, when really they don’t?

Relationships are full of deception and most people go through their entire lives pretending to have something they really don’t. So the next time you see your friends that have been married since forever, don’t compare their relationship to yours. Having your heart broken and moving on means you have the courage to experience everything this world has to offer. Having courage is the only way of finding the one you’re supposed to be with.

8 Quick Ways to Relax Before a Big Date

So you haven't been out on a date in awhile and you're nervous that you'll do or say the wrong thing. Or perhaps your last date was such a disaster that it should have had a rating 5 on the weather channel. Getting nervous before a date is understandable...

Will they be attracted to you? Are you both on the same wavelength? Will you be able to control your mouth from saying something your brain knows is stupid?

Mistakes usually occur when stress levels are high. And lets face it dating is a stressful endeavor. The best thing you can do before a date is 'relax'. ­I know that is easier said than done but here are 8 easy ways to chill out before your dates arrives so that you actually have a good time on your date without any jittery mis-steps.

1. Meditate or if that sounds too mystical just close your eyes and focus on your breathing, feel it as it goes in and feel it go out. Can you feel it flow through your nostrils into your lungs? Does your stomach expand too? If it does then you know your breathing deeply and you'll get the most benefit from the activity. See if you can focus on the pause between breaths and that between an inhale and an exhale. Do it for 5 minutes or do it for 20 - the length is not as important as your focus during this time.

2. Sing. Really loudly. Obviously this isn't going to work in an office but it's great in the car, especially at night if you're worried about other people looking at you oddly.

3. Stretch. Try standing with your feet hip width apart and then take a deep breath, rise up onto your toes and reach up to the ceiling with your fingertips. Hold for as long as you can. And then slowly release your breath, your arms and finally put your heels back on the ground.

4. Go for a walk even if it's just around the office or your living room. Or you could walk to the mailbox or do 6 star jumps or put on some dancing music. Anything to get your body moving and those endorphins flowing.

5. Give yourself a quick massage - your feet or hands are good places to start for a quick treat. Keep some hand cream or body lotion at your desk or in your bedside table and you'll always be ready to treat yourself. And take your time - after all YOU know the bits you like.

6. Connect with your inner child - Do a handstand or a cartwheel - this isn't going to work indoors but if you're wearing trousers there's no reason why you can't do it in the park on your way to meet your date. And while you're there have a go on the slide too (not a good option if you're wearing white and its probably a good idea to make sure the ramp is clean before you slide).

7. Go somewhere private and be as unbelievably angry as you possibly can and try to stay angry - you'll find that 9 times out of 10 you won't be able to sustain it. The idea is not to get all worked up and then go and spray your anger at your date. It's about getting it all out and then dealing with whatever situation needs addressing. In order to do this you need to make sure that you don't leave your private space until you feel like your anger has all gone. We hear so much about anger management when it's not really about managing it, but rather letting it out. Just remember the golden rule: it’s OK to get angry but it’s not OK to take it out on someone or something else.

8. Read fiction - almost everyone agrees that fiction is a wonderful escape from the day to day. There's nothing quite like stepping out of your own life and into the lives of the characters in a good story. And a good short story is just the thing for a 15 minute chill out session.

Hope these tips work for you on your next date. You might even find you enjoy it!

Online Dating Lessons

As adults, the dating world can be such a challenge. This is especially true if you have come out of a long-term relationship and have not been in "the game" for quite a while.

There are many traps out there that you need to avoid. Avoiding the traps is an "inner game." This is done by paying attention to your own thinking and emotions and being honest with your self about what you are thinking and feeling.

Here are three of the most common traps, the signs and symptoms, and most importantly, what to do instead.

The Fairy Tale Trap

Remember all the fairy tales we heard and read as children? While most of them had good moral lessons to teach, they were still fairy tales.

Yet we handle so many of our relationships, especially love relationships, as if we believe the fairy tales are real.

We expect our perfect ideal partner to just magically show up someday, without any effort on our part.

Here is how I hear it expressed by many of the singles whom I coach:

"One day I just looked across the room, our eyes met, and I just knew he/she was the one!"

Well, maybe yes and maybe no.

Either way, after the glow of the "newness" of the relationship wears off, you still have to learn to live with another person - messy at it's best.

I see so many people get hurt this way.

Solution: You just have to take responsibility for your own relationship choice and take an active role in finding a good match for your self.

Don't just react to the people that choose you, as in "I'll like this person because they like me." Interview a lot of people for the position of your partner.

The Rescue Trap

So may singles get caught in this one. They believe that if they can just meet the right person, then all of their emotional, financial, and other problems with living will be solved right away. It's a trap, for one reason, because that is way too much pressure to put on anyone. In addition, this convinces you that you have very little power to affect your own life. This one leaves you feeling desperate and needy. When problems multiply instead of disappear, the relationship is likely to fail.

Solution: First of all, there is a proverb that says, "Without a vision, the people perish." I believe this is true for relationships as well.

What is your vision for your relationship? One way to get started on your vision is to ask the question: "If I could write the screenplay, what would it look like?" Know that your relationship will not exactly match the screenplay. Too may times we look for a custom tailored perfect fit in an off-the-rack world. This is just a question to get you started on creating your relationship vision.

The second thing you need to do is resolve your personal, emotional, financial and other life problems before you commit to a long-term relationship. You then stand a much great chance of relationship success.

Date-To-Mate Trap

Ever try to put a round peg in a square hole? This is one of the dangers of the date-to-mate trap. If you go out into the dating world with the goal that you must find a long-term relationship or even marriage, you set yourself up for trying to make something fit that does not, cannot, and will not fit.

I had a coaching client once who entered into a marriage relationship knowing he wanted children and knowing that she was ambivalent at best about having children. The outcome is predictable, is it not? The couple eventually divorced over this issue.

Having children was a requirement for this person. A requirement is something you must have, and is non-negotiable. In this example, you cannot have half a child.

Solution: Be very careful of becoming an instant couple, especially just to be with someone. Know what your requirements are in a long-term relationship, and settle for nothing less. Taking this position scares many of the singles I coach because they believe it greatly reduces the number of available partners. While this is true, remember, it only takes one.

Date a bunch of different people without the pressure of the date-to-mate trap. This solution greatly increases your chances of finding the one.

Top 10 Online Dating Mistakes

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How to be Even More Popular with Men

Being popular with men is a fine balancing act. On one hand you want to appear open enough for men to feel you’re approachable, but on the other hand you don’t want to appear desperate or needy which acts as a fantastic guy repellent (except for those types of men who want to save us, which I recommend you avoid).

Radiate Confident Happiness

To men, a smiling woman is a happy woman, and a happy woman is far more likely to give them the time of day, or the chance to get to know her, than the women who’s lost in her own worries and concerns. Yes, we all have bills we’re not sure how to pay, and cars that break down without notice, and family members who get sick. Life is never ever going to go exactly how we want. But you can be happy anyway, or you can at least do your best to put a happy face on when you’re out and about in places where you meet men – and that means just about everywhere.

But what if you’re use to being “off in a cloud” or worry constantly? Remind yourself to stop. Leave yourself a little note in your wallet and in your car reminding you to lighten up and get happy. Try it for two solid weeks and I’m sure that you’ll see a difference.

Be a Master Flirt

Okay, obviously radiating confident happiness and flirting means that you need not only to be smiling but saying a cheerful hello to men that catch your eye. But do you know the international signs of flirting females all over the world have sent to men for all the ages? Not sure? Let’s revue – you catch the eye of a good looking guy across a crowded room, you hold strong eye contact for a moment, look away and look back again. It’s that easy! Do this a few times, and if the man is interested (and clued in), he’ll make the move to come and get to know you. When talking to a man you’re interested in women tend to tilt their head to one side or the other, and keep their eyes on his face. To turn up the heat a notch touch his arm or shoulder to emphasize a point. This will give him the signal that you’re comfortable with him being in your personal space. And to turn the heat up a few notches even higher “triangle” him – that is – rather than just watching his eyes move your focus from his eyes to his mouth and back. You’ll be sending him the subconscious signal that you’re wondering what it would be like to kiss him.

But what about the signals men send to letting you know he wants to know you better? Here are two great clues from Susan Rabin’s 101 Ways to Flirt:

The Tie Stroke

Just as women lick their lips when flirting (and toss their hair) men also “preen” by stroking their tie or the lapel of their suit.

The Eyebrow Flas

Apparently not only the eyes are the windows to the soul, but so are the eyebrows. Susan notes of a man’s eyebrows when talking to you, “If they’re relaxed, even limp, you’re not his cup of tea. But if he is wide-eyed with brows flashing upward, it’s a sure sign that you’ve taken him by surprise – and he couldn’t be more delighted!”

Okay, so you’ve seen a guy you really want to talk to but there’s just been no way to catch his eye and let him know you’re interested? Susan has a great idea for that as well. A good friend of Susan’s overheard a woman during an intermission at the theater walk up to a man she’d been studying for some time and say, “I’ll bet there’s a story behind the ring you’re wearing.”

Now who doesn’t want to tell you the story behind a funky tie, a ring, an interesting hat, the book you’re reading – certainly not most men! They’ll be thrilled to fill you in on the item’s personal history.

Dress in Ways that Make You Happy

Unfortunately once many women start a serious career we spend the majority of our wardrobe money on career clothes and not on those for our free time. Don’t make this mistake. Make sure your weekend and dress up clothes are those you look and feel great in. Nothing sends a message of being a woman comfortable and happy in her own skin than a woman in an outfit she loves – and nothing attracts men more than a woman happy and comfortable in her own skin. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a favorite pair of jeans or a sexy cocktail dress that shows off your figure, if you feel good in what you’re wearing men are going to stand up and take notice.

Another good idea is to remember to ad a feminine touch to both your work and leisure apparel. Yes, I’m asking you to remember you’re a girl. That doesn’t mean you have to wear heavy make-up, fake nails, and dresses and skirts if they’re not your thing, but it does mean it might be time to take another look at how you’re stepping out of the house and making sure you’re putting your best feet forward.

Men do notice nicely pedicured hands and feet (and some men have serious foot fetishes). A few summers ago I bought a pair of very inexpensive bright pink thong sandals with a big flower on them – I’ve never ever received so many compliments on a pair of shoes from men in my life! This summer the styles are full of pretty flirty things that are sure to catch a man’s eye – make sure to add a few to your wardrobe. Even something as simple as a little silk flower pinned to your lapel, or a pretty hair clip added to your hairstyle can be enough encouragement for a man to come over and talk to you.

I've tried dating. Now what?

With nice tunes playing on a portable radio in the background, the revolt began.

Good Connections, a three-year-old dating and friendship service for people with social disabilities, was holding its first holiday party. Some 15 members dined on pizza in the fluorescent-lit basement of the Framingham Civic League, their eyes fastened on Good Connection founders Steve and Marcia Rothenberg.

One man slowly raised his hand. "How come nothing's happening?" he asked. "It's been a year ... How come we're not at that dating point yet?"

Several others at the table nodded in agreement. They had paid their $360 membership fee. Why hadn't they found romance?

Two women talked about their frustration with other dating services. One had posted on a Jewish website, but no one responded. The other had tried speed dating on several occasions, but to no avail. And now Good Connections wasn't working, either.

Marcia Rothenberg calmly explained that Good Connections did not guarantee anything. She said she and her husband were there to foster relationships and coach members in their social lives.

But although the Rothenbergs didn't show it, their clients' comments had hit a nerve.

The Framingham couple, both full-time professionals in the field of social relationships, already had been questioning the mission of their nonprofit organization. Can a dating service work if its members lack the fundamental social skills needed to maintain a relationship?

"What I got out of that party was that they needed more than just linking up with each other," said Marcia, a 52-year-old social worker who previously did art therapy through the Holliston public schools. "They would go out on dates and not know what to do."

So the two have decided to disband Good Connections and instead create a support group for those who have trouble forming friendships.

They plan to serve the same clientele, people facing challenges from social anxiety to Asperger syndrome, a form of autism.

When they founded Good Connections, their colleagues in the social services and support field had warned them it wouldn't work. Some of them had tried to launch similar endeavors, though not on as ambitious a scale as Good Connections. The Rothenbergs were pioneers; they knew of no successful model to follow.

"We reached out to people who had nothing in their lives," said Marcia, "people you pass in a coffee shop and they're sitting alone."

"We thought that because of our passion for helping people develop relationship skills, we were in a unique position to offer help," said Steve, a 54-year-old psychologist who has conducted therapy groups for people with social challenges for 15 years. "We wanted to level the playing field."

They did so by playing matchmaker. They made DVD recordings of interviews with new clients, encouraging them to open up about their interests. Members could browse through the DVDs and select people they wanted to meet. The Rothenbergs would provide the introduction, but only if they felt the couple had enough in common.

At its peak, Good Connections had 30 members. The majority were male, and the average age was in the mid-30s. Most had part-time jobs, with their parents paying their membership fee.

They joined thinking Good Connections would be a "magic cure" for their relationship woes, Marcia said.

"The wish to have a relationship is so strong, and the fantasy was that we would provide the relationships without the work," Steve said.

As it turned out, the work was too much for Marcia. "She was spending 30 hours a week on the phone" counseling and reassuring the clients, her husband said. This on top of her regular job.

The Rothenbergs had hoped that the holiday party would serve as a get-acquainted session. They conducted a round-robin exercise with the members, having them spend 30 seconds asking the person next to them to reveal something about themselves. Afterward they were encouraged to mingle, but instead, most darted to the dessert table in the back.

Steve said many clients had neurological disorders that kept them from picking up on social cues, such as facial expressions and body language. They had trouble reading others' feelings.

"Say a guy and a girl meet for dinner, and the woman keeps looking around the restaurant, looking at her watch," Steve explained. "You or I might think, 'She's not interested in me.' Most people without a social disability would pick up on that. Someone with a social disability would not pick up on the subtleties."

He cited an example of a client whose date arrived late for dinner. By the time she arrived, he had ordered and eaten his meal and was on his way out. "No one had told him otherwise," Steve said.

The Rothenbergs say their new support group will include lessons on picking up nonverbal signals and role-playing sessions.

"It's based on our belief that the more you help people to learn different ways of interacting that wouldn't necessarily come naturally to them, that it helps to actually facilitate new pathways and connections in the brain related to social functioning," said Steve.

So far, few Good Connection members have signed on for the support group.

"We're providing a service to a population with social challenges," said Steve. "We're not expecting the same response you would expect if you were offering a service to a different population."

Marcia said one of their goals is to help lay the groundwork for the future. They believe a group similar to Good Connections could be successful given the proper resources.

How to Use Online Personals to Get Women Into Bed

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Best Conversation Topics With Women

There are really two very different (and important) aspects to the 'conversations with women' topic:

1. The HOW.

2. The WHAT.

THE HOW

Most guys want to know 'what to talk about' with women.

It only makes sense that you should talk about things that women are interested in... right?

Well... partially.

It is actually FAR MORE IMPORTANT to talk about whatever topic you're talking about in the RIGHT WAY.

In other words, if you don't understand HOW to carry on a conversation that creates ATTRACTION, then it really won't matter WHAT you talk about... because the woman you're talking to won't FEEL anything towards you.

The HOW of conversation includes (but is not limited to):

-Your body language
-Eye contact
-The Cocky & Funny style of communicating
-Flirting
-Sending mixed messages
-Directing the conversation
-Dealing with common questions and topics

...and many other things.

My point is that if you're running into a lot of 'uncomfortable silences', nervousness, and other usual challenges, then you probably need to get the HOW handled before the WHAT.

THE WHAT

With that said, there are several topics that are GREAT to discuss with women.

But instead of just giving them to you, I want you to do yourself a favor and THINK for a minute.

What topics do women PAY to hear about?

Hint: Cosmo magazine, romance novels, soap operas, nighttime dramas, the fashion channel... etc.

If you think about it, the answer to this question is rather obvious.

For whatever reason, WOMEN tend to LOVE:

-Drama
-Conflict
-Romance
-Famous people and their lives

So... it's really quite easy to enjoy a conversation with a woman about these topics.

Here are a few ideas:

1. Play amateur psychologist to the stars.

Talk about how someone famous is doing something really stupid, then psycho-analyze them.

For instance... right now, Michael Jackson is something like two hundred million dollars in debt. Even though he makes about twenty million dollars a year, he somehow manages to blow it all and then some. He has spent an unimaginable amount of time and money on plastic surgery and skin bleaching... and he reportedly just spent around seven hundred grand digitally darkening his skin tone in a recent video.

This situation is all kinds of BEGGING to be picked apart with a fine-toothed critical mind.

It's also PREGNANT with humor opportunities.

2. Find an interesting-looking group of people and guess what's going on.

Look around you, and find a couple sitting at a table that looks like they're on their first date.

Then start making fun of how the guy is acting, how he's dressed, his posture, or whatever. Talk about how the woman is thinking that he's a dork and how he's not getting any, no matter how many compliments he gives her.

Analyzing what's going on with a close group of others is big fun, and women love it.

3. Make fun of someone famous.

Talk about how a super model is too skinny, or how Ozzy has killed all his brain cells and what a shame it is that he's on TV broadcasting it to millions of viewers.

Make fun of Mariah Carey for gaining weight, being put in the loony bin, and putting out a sucky movie.

All you have to do is read a few gossip magazines to get all kinds of great stuff to make fun of.

It's fun, it's funny, and it's a great way to talk like you're all that.

4. Talk about other people's love lives.

Talk about the problems that others are going through when it comes to love and romance, then volunteer completely ridiculous theories about what's going on.

Mention a friend you had who broke up with his girlfriend because she gained weight, then after you've told the story, make up a random theory about how women who gain weight are actually lesbians.

But make sure it's funny, whatever you invent.

...I think you can 'feel me'.

The point here is that women are NATURALLY fascinated and drawn to certain topics... so USE THEM.

The REAL benefit of talking to women about topics that really interest them is that you can USE ALL THE OTHER IDEAS THAT YOU'RE LEARNING while you're talking!

You can AMPLIFY THE ATTRACTION as the conversation goes on... as long as you know what else to do as you talk.

Oh, by the way...

Topics to avoid: Rape, kidnapping, stalking, death, chess, computers, comic books, Star Wars, monster trucks, and NSYNC. NEVER talk about topics that might really freak a woman out, or topics that make you look like the biggest loser alive in the beginning. You'll create BAD VIBES that will make any attraction that you've created INSTANTLY disappear. Others to really avoid include talking negatively about yourself, talking about how desperate you are or how long it's been since you've been on a date, asking if she likes you or if you're her 'type'... and any other WUSS-BAG topic that makes you look insecure and needy.

Remember, the key to success with women is creating a powerful emotional ATTRACTION between you and her.

Secrets for Writing the Perfect Online Dating Profile

In real life a personal ad — or its online dating equivalent, the personal profile — can be a terrific tool to endear the right person to you. 'The personal ad route can be a good idea because it gives you the opportunity to meet people outside of your little circle of friends and co-workers,' says Toni Coleman, a psychotherapist and relationship coach in McLean, Va.

But the way you write a personal profile matters: it could mean the difference, in fact, between hooking the love of your life and falling flat.

There's Something About Your Ad ...

Follow these six simple rules to pique a would-be partner's interest.

Talk yourself up ... but stay sincere. What's great that you have to give? How would your best friend sum up the qualities that make you unique? Strut your stuff, Coleman encourages, in a way that's 'upbeat, but not fake.'

Keep the style fun, not formal. 'If you have fun writing it, the reader will likely have fun reading it,' says author Evan Marc Katz in I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating (Ten Speed Press, 2003). In writing about who you are — as well as about what characteristics you're looking for — write the way you talk, in a creative way that will win people over. A better way to go than 'I'm lots of fun,' according to Katz: 'Karaoke? Rock climbing? Strip poker? Road trip to Vegas? Go on, dare me. I'll do it.' Stories — of a recent funny experience, for example — can captivate people in a way that generic descriptions never will.

Choose words carefully to express what you really want. 'In search of: a wealthy man' might come across as 'gold digger,' and searching for a stunning woman can seem superficial. Are you actually looking for a partner who's ambitious or fit? That's not as likely to offend.

Include a picture that's flattering, but true to you. Find a recent photo to submit, or have one taken. Pick a pic that shows your playful side, or has you hanging out with family or friends, Katz recommends, warning that 'photoless folk will hardly be contacted by anyone.' In your pictures, as in your words, represent yourself honestly, says relationship coach Coleman. 'People will find out the truth soon enough.'

Read over what you're about to submit. Avoid seeming sloppy; review your writing so it's grammatically correct and typo-free.

Keep It Positive: No Problems, Please

The things you leave out of a personal profile are as important as what you put in — no 'my last relationship left me broken-hearted' or 'I detest my job.' And leave out personal information, for security's sake.

With these ins and outs to go by, personal ads can help you date less duds and zero in on the people who show some potential — whether what you like is golf, baseball and beer, or more along the lines of opera and fine cuisine.

Good and Bad Adult Dating Profile Samples

Profiles listed on this page were taken from various online dating sites, and were posted by actual real people looking to meet others. Read through them and use them as inspiration to write your own personal ad.

Examples of Good Ads

1) If I like you...Can I keep you?
I am secure & happy with myself, but...Life is meant for 2!! A little bit about myself: I enjoy travel, camping by a lake, gardening, home decorating, Comedy Clubs & Dinner Theater, music, my dog, & celebrating special occasions. I am self-sufficient, independent, honest, I have a great sense of humor, & family & friends are very important to me. A man who ONLY has eyes for me & can make me laugh are important qualities! No Pressure! Let's just relax...become friends & get to know each other... and see what happens.
( The headline is very inviting - makes you want to click on it. )

2) Lost Smile---Reward For Recovery
I'm putting out a world wide web bulletin to get everyone's help. You see, I've lost my smile. I'm not really myself without it. I have a couple leads that give me hope that it may have been found, including a vague description. She appears to be between 26 and 40 years old, but may appear younger than her age. She at least 5'7' (I am 6'), not a bbw, but doesn't live at the gym either. She has high-maintenance looks with a down-to-earth attitude, values, and personality. She loves rock & roll and may be found at concerts. I have conflicting reports that she's either a blonde or a brunette. She's intelligent with her own career and not dependent on someone to support her. If this person can be found, I can offer a reward of lifetime devotion, long, slow kisses that last for days, midnight massages, a partner that loves to cook and doesn't mind sharing in the household chores, someone to wash your back, a shoulder to lean on, and someone who will hold you at night. If you think you may have found my smile, please e-mail me as I really need it to be myself. Thanks.
( Original, appealing and very well thought out.)

3) 'Spark Plug'
When people are sometimes asked to describe me, the term 'spark plug' is often used. I know how to speak my mind and get what I want, but I do so with a smile. I've been known to assess first impressions quickly (both personally and professionally) and generally do not waiver from my initial conclusion. I'm considered a very generous person in all aspects of my life especially in friendship, family and love. I've been told that I'm smart, beautiful and sensitive, although I also tend to be a bit modest too. I'm looking for a man who shares my views on love, family and friends and is ready for all of it to begin with me.
( This person added enough personal details about herself to give a potential responders a real sense of who she is.)



Bad Personal Ads
by Barb Marcano

Creative, well thought out personal ads get attention! Ones that are poorly written get ignored - that's a FACT! Below you'll see a few ads that are barely worth reading, and definitely not worth your time responding to. JUST REMEMBER! If you're going to take the time to post an ad, you want to write one that gets results.

Examples of Bad Ads

1) Hey SeXXXy!!!!!!
I am 22, I go to college in London Ontario for Marketing and I live in Stratford. I love hockey, going to the bars with the guys and playing pool. Not really sure what else to say so I will leave it at that :)
( Sounds like a real winner. Watch out girls, I saw him first! )

2) Nice guy looking for a nice girl
I a genuinely open and friendly guy, hard to come by these days. I like to spend time around friends, and always love to meet new people. I like to keep myself busy, can't stand sitting around doing nothing.
( Not exactly bad, but much too vague, didn't really give you much to go on )

3) FREAK! Or someone like that...me I guess. COME ON! LOOK HERE!!!
Snuggly guy, 6'2', 165 lbs. Just moved to Vancouver, looking for friends and people to show me around the city. Is that you? Are you sure? I am pretty weird...ok then. :)
( I'm sure he's a really nice guy - but would you want to take the chance? )

4) MALE 25 YRS SINGLE
I AM A VERY STRAIGHT PERSON .UNMARRIED & LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO GET MARRIED WITH.THATS ALL WHAT I CAN SAY RIGHT NOW.FOR ME IT HARDLY MATTERS IF U R A DIVORCEE ALSO.
( BORING - poorly written, lacks details and the use of all CAPS makes it hard to read.)

5) 'Cacktas The Sign of Loyality'
I am Farooq i have only one frend name is AYAZ and he say about me that farooq is a gentleman person hardworking faothfull good looking and and and..................... and wot i am in my point of view i like treveling i want to go all over the world mmmmmm like music of shehzad i am very much bus kafee zayada tareeef achee nahi haotee...............!
( A very good example why it's so important to check and double check your spelling.)

Why You Should Touch Her

The common view of kino (note: kino = touching) is that you're giving the woman pleasure and that this arouses her and makes her attached to you.

That is certainly true, and we're lucky we live in a time when doing kino with a woman is considered acceptable as soon as you start getting to know her. In older times, guys like Casanova had to be extraordinarily seductive with their *words* just so they could get to the point where they could begin to use kino.

But the key thing to understand about kino is that when you initiate it with a chick whom you're just getting to know, is that it isn't merely an arousing stimulus, it also challenges the barriers between you.

The presence of those invisible barriers which you both maintain in your minds is really the key difference between being lovers and strangers.

Typical "nice guy" behavior is to respect those barriers too much and to never challenge them. That by definition maintains the barriers, leaving them in place.

Doesn't matter how well he gets to know the chick, if he leaves those barriers in place he will never be her lover -- THAT is why he ends up in the friend category. Because he actually reinforced the barriers instead of destroying them.

Anyway, the next level up from AFC is to realize that you have to crumble those barriers, so you work on them, but you're still leery about causing any anxiety, and still a bit nervous about challenging the barriers. So you look for excuses to touch, or you reach out and caress her but it has a slightly rushed quality because you're trying to mask some underlying nervousness.

Ultimately, where you want to get to is the point where you recognize that for a woman, the experience of having you challenging the barriers is not ONLY a source of anxiety for her, but is also a source of EXCITEMENT.

And the idea is to shift the balance so that she experiences more excitement than anxiety.

Ever see a baby fall down? Notice how they don't know whether to laugh it off or cry so they look to their parents to see the parents face? If the parent frowns with concern then the baby starts crying. If the parent smiles, the baby starts laughing.

Same with women. When you are entering new territory with a woman by challenging the "touch barriers" between you and her, then you have to do it calmly and confidently and that CAUSES her to experience it as exciting. If you do it nervously she'll experience it as something that isn't right and that makes her uncomfortable.

One of the best ways to show confidence is to do it slowly, instead of rushing it. Nervous people rush things to mask their nervousness.

Nervous people also look away, so you calmly make eye contact. And nervous people look serious, so be sure to smile a lot.

Nervous people also make their voice tense, so you make yours relaxed, and make your posture very open and relaxed rather than being closed and tense.

All these things will convey confidence causing her mind to interpret your touch as a source of excitement, rather than a source of anxiety.

The more you understand (and vicariously feel) the way your touch EXCITES her, the more you will naturally become confident about doing it.

Besides conveying confidence, the other thing you need to do with kino is to strike a balance so it is neither too challenging, nor too tame.

As you start slowly caressing her -- her hand or her arm or her waist or back, or maybe feeling her cheek or her hair with your hand -- the ideal to strive for is that you want to keep her gently balanced on the very edge of being too excited, so it is never too much for her to handle, nor so mild that it becomes tame.

How To Create Powerful Personal (Part-2)

3. - Don't rush into things,

unless that's exactly what the two of you are looking for. Hey, we're adults here; some people, male and female, or just looking to get together for a bit of fun now and again. If both of you are fine with that, no problem there. One thing we deeply recommend you remember though is that you don't really know if you want this person until you meet them.

This writer once began writing emails to a woman who, in all honesty, seemed to be just what he had always been looking for: very intelligent, funny, sexually adventurous, with a pretty face, flowing dark hair, and a frankly killer body. She was even bisexual it turned out - and willing to eventually bring a friend into the bedroom for some very hot times. In other words, it seemed a virtual hit of the jackpot.

And, as those amazing emails turned into equally amazing (and steamy) two-hour daily phone calls, it seemed more and more certain that this was the most amazing thing to happen to either of us by simple emails. The calls correctly gave each person a great deal of confidence that this was bound to be the start of something beyond anything we'd thought we'd find . . .

But after a few hours of spending time with this woman on a planned weekend-long vacation and sexual romp (which was also our very first face-to-face meeting), all this writer could think of was how he could get out of the arrangement and away from this woman. Why? Because he'd found that this seemingly fascinating creature on the phone and in emails was the most pretentious windbag he'd ever met in the flesh, without a single real thought of her own.

She was as physically attractive as her pics made her out to be, but that's about the only thing that didn't seem totally different about her in an actual meeting. To be fair though, the writer disappointed her in much the same way. She didn't really lie about herself; neither did the writer lie to her. It merely seemed that aspects of our personalities that had frankly been impossible to discern by emails and a few phone calls made themselves apparent in prolonged face-to-face contact. Our 'incredible romance' never really lasted the weekend. Therefore the only way to truly get to know someone is still the old-fashioned 'face-to-face' meeting, there's no getting around it. Had this writer's failed romance proceeded slower, to where each person could have gotten use to the unfamiliar 'body language' of the other, and began understanding the other more as a complete person, it probably would have ended quite differently. This writer has never made that same mistake again.

So even if you're looking for a simple 'hook-up', make sure you go through a ritual of writing a few emails, then making a few calls to get to know the person a bit better, then having a meeting without the unnecessary pressure that anything must happen that evening. It's always understood that the first meeting is a means to get acquainted, that's all it must necessarily mean. If something does happens later on that night . . . that's something else, and a very pleasant surprise to boot. But real compatibility - sexual or otherwise - is a stubborn thing; it only really shows itself completely in face-to-face meetings. Keep that in mind.

If you're looking for something substantial, be especially cautious. Again, while most women are essentially the same in person as they are in the letters and on the phone, there's always a chance that she may prove to someone be quite different - trust us. If you think this is something that you might want to last a awhile, give it time to grow before you jump in and decide this is what you want.

4. - Insist on talking over the phone before you meet;

we can't stress that enough. Online chats and erotic e-mails are only a means to start some good communication, nothing more. The truth is that anyone can be writing those words. You have to give and get phone numbers and really talk to that person before you even decide if you want to continue this thing beyond the written word. Too many times people have come to want the writer of certain emails, only to discover that she is really a he, or that her 'two years older than you' is actually twenty. A phone call is the best next step, a necessary means to break the ice even further and to help you really get to know the person before you spend a few thousand going to meet them in some far-off place. You'll know she's really interested when she starts calling you, too.

After all, it takes a lot more time and thoughtfulness (and money) to spend a half-hour or so talking on the phone than it does to write a few lines to someone most of the time, however clever those lines may be. Besides, if you become interested in this woman, it's an interesting way of check on your new girl; if a man answers the phone and announces that he's her boyfriend or her husband, you might want to forget about those plane tickets and save yourself a little fortune (and a bit of heartache) in the bargain. Fine, you may be saying to yourself, but I still feel funny getting in touch with women this way. How do I know if I'm going to say something that will at least get her attention? Believe it or not, one of the best ways is to concentrate on the form your email takes, as much as the content.

Remember, most female minds are geared toward the spatial, verbal forms of thinking and perceiving; it's why they feel the need to talk at length when they're troubled by something, as opposed to the male mind, which is more sequential and mathematical (we'll let the reader decide whether that means men are more reasonable ;-)) . She will take notice of how something is being said, almost as much as what is being said in the email itself. In fact, the structure of your message, or 'post,' is vital to getting your point across - not to mention getting it read at all.

Main Fears of Women That You Need to Handle First

The most important sexual organ you possess as a man is your mind. You must use your mental powers to arouse a woman and to handle her objections and fears to get her into bed. In many ways, you’re going to have to talk your way into bed. Before discussing her fears, however, I want to warn you about your own. You cannot have a negative internal dialogue with yourself and all sorts of doubts and negative thoughts racing through your brain when you’re seducing a woman or you will surely sabotage yourself. So don’t allow yourself to dwell upon your fear of rejection, your inadequacies, or any doubts you have about yourself. You must stay positive and expect the best to occur every time you are with a woman. Believe in yourself, relax, and have fun. Women will be less likely to resist any move you make if you are natural and carefree. Like a beautiful young woman once told me, “The fewer a guy’s worries are, usually the more attractive he is.”

Much of the criteria upon which a woman bases her decision on whether or not she is going to give it up revolves around her basic fears. A woman must first be free of any anxiety or fears before she will invite you to ravage her. You need to clear away the obstacles to the bedroom. Understand a woman’s fears and you can leverage a woman’s point of view to your advantage.

A woman has three main fears that you need to handle to clear the path to pleasure, ease, and her enjoyment of sex. First, she fears that she is not as beautiful as she needs to be, or could be, or should be. Women are always worried about their weight, the size of their breasts, their wardrobe, and their overall attractiveness. To eliminate these fears of inadequacy, tell her how beautiful she is. Tell her what you think of her skin, her neck, her legs, and especially her eyes. But don’t mention her breasts unless they’re perfect and not until you have already caressed them. Complement her about her clothes, her eye makeup, her jewelry, and never, NEVER critize her or belittle her in any way when you’re making your move toward the bedroom.

Her second biggest fear is her fear of abandonment. She needs to feel that after you make love to her that you are still going to be with her in the future. Reassure her that you are now a part of her life. In your pre-bedroom conversation, tell her how much you look forward to spending time with her in the future, and explain why you can see the two of you together for a long time, and talk about exciting things you will do together over the weeks and months ahead.

The third big fear to handle before getting a woman into bed is her fear of unwanted pregnancy or contracting the AIDS virus. You deal with this fear by broaching the subject of condoms before you get all hot with passion. Most women now days will not have sex with you unless you’re wearing a condom. As a Chinese girlfriend of mine was fond of saying, “No cover wang, no get bang!” Your job is to reassure her ahead of time that you use condoms and that you have a supply of them on hand. Look for ways to talk about the subject of condoms in a non-threatening way. Say something sometime early on like, “I think it’s really important that people use condoms when making love.” Try to word it in a way that uses third party names and references; don’t say ‘you’ like to use condoms don’t you.