20 Things To Say To Your Partner on May 21st

In case you have been living under a rock or had the good luck of avoiding the creepy religious man at the corner of a busy intersection, (every city has one) you know that Judgment Day is vastly approaching and in just a few days, every adult will pay for their sins on May 21st, 2011. Even though the validity of the upcoming events is as believable as Y2K propaganda, many people are fearing the possible outcome that May 21st may be the last day this World has to offer us.

Instead of crying and sitting in a Pew praying for God to spare you and your loved ones, why not take the advantage of repenting for all your dating sins by releasing your “Get Out of Jail Free” card upon your lover? What would you say to your partner if the end was going to end? Here are a few choice examples:

1. “The weight you’ve put on has not gone unnoticed.”

2. “Your love for reality shows disgust me.”

3. “I’m still in love with my ex. Sorry.”

4. “Your friend are losers and you are who you hang out with.”

5. “I have not had one real orgasm with you. Ever.”

6. “I’ve always noticed the period stains on your lingerie.”

7. “Your career path is really just a hobby. Give it up.”

8. ” I would totally bang your mom.”

9. “I lost interest in shaving because I lost interest in you.”

10. “Your penis looked a lot bigger when we first started dating.”

11. “I hate your smell.”

12. “I would rather eats shards of glass then look at your god damn face one more time.”

13. ” Your cooking skills are on par with your blowjob skills.”

14. “Your friends are right. I am totally gay.”

15. “Your constant refusing to have anal sex made me cheat on you with numerous different partners.”

16. “Your taste in music makes me not want to know you anymore.”

17. ” You are not Carrie Bradshaw.”

18. “I’m afraid of being alone. You are too. That’s why we’re together and you know it.”

19. “I rather jack off then have sex with your loose vagina.”

20. “I love you because you support me….financially.

However, if the world does not end, you’re going to wish it had if you say anything on this list. You have been warned.

Dating A Friends Ex: Is It Okay?

When you’re adults dating and you fall for a friends ex trouble could be brewing. Some people think that dating a friends ex is totally off limits, but that’s not necessarily true.

You like your friends ex, now what? If you’ve fallen for your friends ex, you need to consider a lot of things before moving forward. You need to be certain that your friend’s past lover is also interested in you. You must be certain that they are interested in you, because if you make a move and they turn you down, you could still get your friend mad. You shouldn’t risk damaging your friendship unless it is a sure thing.

How did they break up? Once you’re certain that you both share the same feelings, you need to consider your friends standpoint very carefully. When they broke up, was it your friend that did the dumping or were they the dump-ee. If your friend did the dumping because they were looking to move on, you might be okay. If your friend was the one who was dumped and suffered a lot of pain, you should probably hold up.

Preserving your friendship: The next thing to consider is the state of your friendship. Just how close of friends are you? If the thought of loosing that friend could be too much to bear, then you may have to pass on the romantic opportunity. If the friend isn’t particularly close to, you may find that dating their ex is more valuable to you than your friendship with them.

Pursuing a relationship with the ex: If you decide that you’re going to start dating your friends ex, then you need to be careful about how you handle it. Don’t try to hide it, that will make things far worse. Lying about it will make you look bad to everyone. Pull your friend aside and let or her know what’s going on. Tell your friend that you hope they can understand, but you will also completely understand if they are angry with you. You may want to avoid hanging with your friend as a couple at first. Try and ease your friend into the situation. Hopefully they will be able to move on and you can all come to terms with you and the former dating partner.

Generic Break Up Lies That Deserve The Middle Finger

There comes a point in everybody’s adult dating lives when they have heard every generic break up cliche in the book. There also comes a point where everybody should snap and point out these statements for what they really are: COWARDLY LIES. Here are a few break up lies we should all give the middle finger to.

“It’s Not You, It’s Me”

Really? Even toddlers know this is a bullsh*t lie. Of course, it’s me, asshole! Just call it for what is really is. You want out out of this relationship and I don’t. Was that really that hard?

“There’s Plenty Of Fish In The Sea.”

I hate when friends say this to you. It’s like they assume you have no concept of the fact that this world is full of millions of people walking the Earth. I know there are plenty of “fish” to choose from, Jackass!

“I Need To Focus On My Career Right Now.”

This one really cracks me up. It’s kind of like the excuse kids give their parents when they’re trying to avoid doing the chores around the house. “But Mom, I really need to focus on my homework!” What they really mean to say is that they see maintaining this relationship as a tedious chore. Funny how they have no qualms about neglecting their “careers” when trying to get you in bed.

“It’s Their Loss.”

Really? Because I thought I was the one that was dumped? Isn’t it MY loss? I hate when friends say this to you. It’s like they are trying to make you think the person who dumped you is upset that they let you go. Why would they purposely LOSE something they really wanted. *Sigh*

“I love You, But I’m Not In Love With You.”

What they really mean to say is that, “I was attracted to you for a while. However, I just realized how much hotter my now single ex is than you.”

“You’re Too Good For Me.”

This one always makes me laugh when I hear it. Bad boys are prone to saying this phrase to all their conquest. Relationships are not full-time jobs. You shouldn’t be “over qualified” to be loved by someone.

“Can We Just Be Friends?”

When someone says this to you, what they really mean is: “I don’t want to date you anymore, but I have no problem having sex with you from time to time.”

The next time you hear any of these phrases, give the person the middle finger. If someone can’t even say the truth about how they feel or don’t feel about you, then they are better out of your life anyway.

3 Ways To Stare At A Woman You Like

When you’re not dating and you are looking for a casual date, you’re always on the hunt. When you see a beautiful lady, your first instinct is to stop and look, right? Its awkward to look at a girl for too long and you don’t want to get caught staring. You also don’t want to offend her.

The truth is, a lot of women can’t stand being stared at. In fact, a lot of the times, the guys who stare at them are automatically unattractive to them.

There are, however, a few “cool” ways to look at a lady:

Woman are turned on by vampires: There is a very vulnerable and sensual part of your body, and that part is your neck. A woman’s neck is also a very sexual area of her body, even more than her vagina or clitoris. If you stare at her neck, she will start thinking about it. Then she will start feeling your eyes on her body. This starts the same emotional signals to her brain that get sent when she gets kissed on her neck.

Make eye contact: Eye contact is crucial because it builds trust. It releases the chemical oxytocin and this is the same chemical released when you are cuddling in bed after sex. However, too much eye contact can be intimidating. So this is what you need to do: Take your eyes, and lightly dart down to her lips, then look at different parts of her face. A strong look on a certain body part releases the same emotions and chemicals as a light kiss does.

How to make awkward pauses sexy: Looking deep into her eyes when there are a few seconds without any talking can build a huge amount of romance and sexual tension. Most of the time men try to fix an awkward pause with a joke or something to diffuse the tension, but this will never come across as attractive to women.

if you follow all of these tips then you will be sure to turn your awkward staring into something sexy and enticing.

How To Keep Your Relationship Alive During The Holidays

The holiday season can be really tough on your adult dating life and your expectations. Often the holidays are times when relationship and sex problems become the most evident.

Everywhere we turn is pictures of “perfect” holiday celebrations; these pictures are on movies, commercials, television, in stores, etc. In all, there is a lot of pressure to make everything meaningful. It seems like if we are not like “everyone else”, then our relationships are flawed.

Here are some tips to help you get your relationships through the holidays:

Make time for yourself; try not to be so consumed with the stress of the season

Sometimes the anticipation of enjoying a holiday or a holiday event with someone is so strong that if our partner doesn’t respond as we think they should, our pleasure in the event is spoiled. Tying up your expectations too closely with another’s only leads to disappointments. If you need to, do some things on your own – don’t give away your pleasure in things you enjoy to someone else and their moods.

 Remember the holidays can be depressing
Whatever issues, failures and problems you have with your partner, remember that the holiday environment can make the lows much lower than other times of year. There’s enough anxiety and unrealistic expectations at this time of year to squelch even the most loving couple.

Lastly, here are some great communication tips for this time of year:
1. Hug your partner when you say “hello” and “goodbye”. It feels great and makes your partner feel loved.

2. Be polite to each other. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you can be rude.

3. When you ask your partner a question, make eye contact and listen to the answer. Show them that you are attentive and caring.

4. Make a list of your partner’s positive qualities. Share them and tell them why you think that they are true.

5. Respect each other’s private space. Over time, many couples let this slide. Especially during the holiday season when time is limited.

If you are thinking of ending your relationship, wait till the New Year to re-evaluate your situation. You will have a different perspective and may have averted a hasty decision. January represents renewal and rebirth- and that can also mean your relationship.

How to Avoid Your Partner's Sex Fetishes

So, you’ve been in your relationship long enough to ask private details about what they like in bed. Your partner always seems so sweet, caring and giving when you’re having sex that you want to give them something in return. Then your partner reveals something either so vile or so out of your comfort zone that it makes you want to run for the hills.

Every person is entitled to their xxx fetishes and if they don’t give you severe E.Coli Poisoning, then it you should never judge your partner for having them. Although, what do you do when you don’t want to perform the acts that turn them on the most? Well, if you don’t want to hurt their feelings, here are some ways to get you out of a sticky situation.

Toes and Feet Fetish

So your partner has a thing for sucking and licking your feet. When they try to put one of your little piggies in their mouths, make sure your feet are smelly, full of toe jam and are riddled with cracked and chipped nail polish. They will probably stay away. If you are too vain for that, then tell your partner that you are extremely ticklish. When they touch your feet, start kicking away like someone who’s having a seizure. I’m sure they would not want to get near your feet in fear of physical damage to their face.

Golden Shower

This one is pretty easy and if you ever watched Sex and the City, then you know what Miss Bradshaw had to deal with at one point the show. Simply tell your partner that you want to try tying them up and blindfold them. They will love your kinky set up. When they are blind folded, lightly pour warm green tea over their bodies and if you’re feeling a little brave, keep a urine sample handy and pour that on them too to make it more “authentic.”

Furry Fandom

If your partner wants to get down with you dressed as a furry animal, just simply tell them you’re very claustrophobic and can’t handle being enclosed in tight and small places. Put on the head mask and pretend to hyperventilate.

Strap ons

If your female partner wants to use a strap on with you, simply tell her that you won’t ever ask her for anal sex again. Most times girls threaten men with strap ons simply for their amusement. If she still wants to use it, make a compromise and tell her you’ll let her use her finger instead. (Sometimes, you just got to take one for the team. )

S&M

Tell them your parents use to beat you as a child and being around whips has scared you since. It’s horrible I know, but at least you won’t have to endure a physical beating during sex. Give them harder spanks to compensate for it.

Rim Jobs

Speak up! Just speak up and flat out tell them no or tell them they can perform it on you, but you would never reciprocate. See…compromises do work from time to time.

Speed Dating Surival Advice

Speed dating gives singles a chance to test-drive a dozen or so potential dates in one evening. Participants meet, mingle a bit at a reception, then take places at tables around the room. A bell sounds and each paired-off couple has six minutes to size each other up.

At the six-minute mark, the bell sounds, the men move to the next table in line and the process starts again. All speed daters have a check sheet to keep track of which people they'd like to see again, or not. The next day, they get a list from the organizers of everyone they said they'd like to meet, who also want to meet them.

The appeal of speed dating is a chance to size up a blind date without worrying about being stuck on a long, awkward date with someone you realize you don't really like.

Lisa Daily, dating expert and author of "Stop Getting Dumped," offers this advice to speed-date:

• Smile. It makes a good first impression. "I attend a lot of these events," Daily said. "And you always see people scowling down, marking things off on their scorecard like they're going to a job fair. Relax!"

• Dress for success. She advises women to wear red – a color that studies have shown to increase heart rate and promote attraction. Men, she says, should wear blue, because blue is a soothing color. Basically, nice guys wear blue, hot girls wear red. Daily admits that her advice has led to speed dating events where all the participants show up in blue and red.

• Think of one good question. Speed daters get sick of answering the same questions over and over again – where do you come from? What do you do for a living? – so you can make a big impression by not asking boring questions. Ask what they do for fun, who their heroes were when they were children, what three items they'd take to a deserted island. Their answers will tell you a lot about them, and your questions tell them just as much about you. Speed dating, Daily said, "really is the perfect setup. You only have to be entertaining for six minutes. Anybody can be entertaining for six minutes."

What's Muslim Dating Like In US?

So here's the thing about speed dating for Muslims. Many American Muslims — or at least those bent on maintaining certain conservative traditions — equate anything labelled "dating" with hellfire, no matter how short a time is involved.

Hence the wildly popular speed dating sessions at the largest annual Muslim conference in North America were given an entirely more respectable label. They were called the "matrimonial banquet."

"If we called it speed dating, it will end up with real dating," said Shamshad Hussain, one of the organisers, grimacing.

Both the banquet earlier this month and various related seminars underscored the difficulty that some American Muslim families face in grappling with an issue on which many prefer not to assimilate.

One seminar, called "Dating," promised attendees helpful hints for "Muslim families struggling to save their children from it."

The couple of hundred people attending the dating seminar burst out laughing when Imam Muhamed Magid of the Adams Center, a collective of seven mosques in Virginia, summed up the basic instructions that Muslim American parents give their adolescent children, particularly males: "Don't talk to the Muslim girls, ever, but you are going to marry them. As for the non-Muslim girls, talk to them, but don't ever bring one home."

"These kids grew up in America, where the social norm is that it is OK to date, that it is OK to have sex before marriage," Magid said.

"So the kids are caught between the ideal of their parents and the openness of the culture on this issue." The questions raised at the seminar reflected how pained American Muslims are by the subject.