More Nuggets of Gold

Always end conversations, meetings, and phone calls first.

I got this idea from the book “The Rules” by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider...You remember that book that was written about how to get a man to marry you? Well, it’s a great book. But I don’t think the authors would like the reasons why I think it’s great. I take all of ‘the rules’ and turn them around. When you play the games that women often play, you will not believe the responses you’ll get.

registration adultfriendfinder

Now, I used to be against any kind of ‘game playing’. I still don’t like lies, cheating, general dishonesty, or manipulation. BUT, when you use these things in the right way, it becomes kind of a ‘game’ that women LOVE to play. It’s strange, but women love to tease and be teased. And if you don’t take this stuff too seriously, you can have some real fun.

But, I digress... The reason to end conversations, calls, and meetings first is that it does two things: First, it says, “I’m not a needy guy, and I have things to do. I’m

busy and if you want me, you’re going to have to work to get me.”

Second, it sets up a situation where YOU are in control of the situation. If you start doing this with EVERY call, EVERY meeting, and EVERY conversation, you will be

blown away by the responses you’ll get.

You’ll have women say, “What? But we’re having so much fun...!”, “Well, when can I see you again?”, or “Don’t you like me?”

By the way, don’t take the bait when they say these things! Say, “Of course I like you, and of course I’m having fun – but I’m busy and I have things to do. So call me tomorrow and maybe I can get together with you at the end of the week.”

I LOVE THIS!!! Love it! Love it! Love it!

And women love it too. As much as you might think it’s cruel and unusual punishment, women love nothing more than to go home wondering, “Does he love me? Does he like me? Will he call me? Did he have fun?”

I know, I know... sounds too bizarre to be true, but trust me. Tease and do these things, and you’ll find that they’ll work like a charm... plus have the added bonus of

being damn fun!

***I have to insert here that I’ve given this advice to many needy man who have rejected it whole heartedly. They continue to act needy and not let women go at the

end of the night, when talking on the phone, etc. By not making themselves scarce and unusual, they make themselves valueless. Don’t make the same mistake

yourself.

Another one that I use often is ‘Don’t say caring and affectionate things directly – but say them indirectly’. Women have a love for metaphors, demonstrations,

stories, gifts, etc.

For instance, saying, “You’re beautiful” 12 times a day isn’t attractive, but writing a poem that says it and leaving it somewhere as a surprise is very attractive.

Also, if I’m appreciating something about a woman, I point to a specific part or thing or detail. Women love it when you NOTICE things.

This reminds me of a very important point: Women LOVE it when you THINK about them. If you say, “I was thinking about you, so I wrote you” the woman will have something inside go ‘click’! I believe that women like gifts not because they have value, but because they say, “I was thinking about you, I have these feelings for you, and this gift is a symbol for them.”

Does this make sense to you?

I didn’t think so. It didn’t to me, either. But IT’S TRUE. So start telling women that you were thinking about them, that you were remembering times with them, and that something reminded you of them. If you do this, you don’t have to buy gifts anymore! They know you’re thinking about them! Nice.

Here’s something else that I’ve figured out that doesn’t make any sense at all: Women love ‘Mismatched Communication’. What I mean by this is that women like it when you’re doing one thing serious and one thing jokingly, or being verbally tough, but physically affectionate.

Let me give you a couple of examples.

If you’re talking to a woman and telling her that you think she’s beautiful, keep a very SERIOUS look on your face. This adds all kinds of drama to the situation and gives the woman something to imagine all kinds of deep meanings. (By the way, most men smile too much. Smile less when talking to women. It will keep them wondering what you’re thinking and it will help you.)

Or while kissing a woman, reach down and bite her on the neck, just a tiny bit too hard (no blood please).

One thing tender, one thing slightly violent.

Or maybe you’ve just finished holding her hand and kissing her. When she stands up, give her a spank on the ass and tell her it was because she’s such a good kisser.

The idea here is that what you’re feeling is causing you to do something IRRATIONAL. You’ve being swept away by the moment. Or you’re experiencing conflicting feelings. This leaves it to her to figure out what you’re ‘REALLY’ feeling, which women love to do.

It also makes you the most interesting, unpredictable guy she’s ever met.

You know, another thing that I’ve noticed is that women LOVE to talk about sex. Most men are not comfortable bringing up the subject with women they don’t know. But try telling a couple of dirty jokes, or talking about a sex program you saw on T.V. Most women will jump right in and start giving their take on the topic. It’s amazing. Try it.

How Men Usually Find Women

I’ve read several books on mating and courtship behaviour among different species of animals (including humans!). The funny thing is that humans do just about

the same things as most other animals with slight variations.

Here are the main ways male animals (humans included) find females:

registering adultfriendfinder

Some human equivalents are:

The point is that there’s nothing new under the sun. If you want to meet women, you have to:

It’s all the same game. Most men who are failures with women aren’t willing to do what it takes to be successful. That’s the bottom line. I’m going to give you the secret ingredients that attract women and invite you to combine some of them with your personality in order to attract the kind of women you’re interested in. The question is, “Are you willing to do the work that it will take to be successful?”

Humour

Here’s how I mentally approach meeting a new woman: I’m cocky and funny, I steal their lines, I tease them, and I don’t ever give them a break.

In my opinion, your most valuable asset, no matter your looks, height, age, or income – is humour.

registering adultfriendfinder

I don’t care if you’re four feet tall and have one eye. If you can make women laugh consistently and get those good feelings flowing through them, they’ll love you.

I decided last year to start actually STUDYING comedy, as I’ve found that people (women) respond to it better than any other thing in the whole entire universe.

So I did a bunch of research on the Internet to find the best books, and I bought about 5 or 6 of them.

One book that I read called “Comedy Writing Secrets” by Melvin Helitzer made a great point. He said that the majority of humour revolves around the CHARACTER and not the jokes.

Most of the guys that I meet who want to learn to meet women are working on the ‘jokes’ in their life and not the ‘character’. I did it for about two years myself. I tried to learn all kinds of lines and B.S.

It finally dawned on me that women were not really that concerned with all of that… they wanted a particular CHARACTER. The lines didn’t matter as long as they fit in with the character. Now that I have created this CHARACTER for myself, things are all different. Women now call me. They pursue me. They want to be around me. It’s strange, magical, and weird.

So what’s the character that they want? Good question.

I have a good friend who’s the best I’ve ever seen at picking up women in bars and having sex with them that night. Now, I do better getting numbers and following up.

But this guy is just a machine. And his whole mindset towards meeting women is to be “cocky and funny” (his words). My opinion is that women are turned off by arrogant men… UNLESS… they’re DAMN FUNNY. This magic combination will attract women like Bill Clinton attracts chubby interns. I’m following in my buddy’s footsteps.

I’ll try to summarize the character that I’ve developed:

“I know that this girl is secretly trying to pick me up… I’m going to play hard to get, make fun of her, be indifferent towards her, and generally bust her balls as much as possible. I know that she loves a guy that is so sarcastic that it makes her nervous, so I’m going to really keep the heat on… and when she starts to show any interest at all on the outside, I’m going to blow her off and make her prove to me that she wants me… so I can reject her again.”

I do crazy things, like if I’m standing next to a girl at a bar, I’ll turn to her and say in a completely serious voice, “Will you PLEASE stop touching me?” And then look

them right in the eye.

Or say, “What are you doing at a bar for godsakes? Can’t you find a nice normal guy? Or are you desperate?” All with a completely straight face.

I say things that make them actually think that I’m serious, but leave a shadow of a doubt.

Here’s what I’m looking for: If they respond in an insecure way and say, “Oh, I’m sorry… I didn’t know that I was touching you”, I’ll keep it going… and say, “Well, you did. And if you’re going to keep doing it, I’d appreciate it if you’d touch a little higher.” They crack up.

If they shoot something funny back like, “Well, touchy touchy” and they know that I’m kidding, I just stay in character and say, “Yes, I don’t like being touched. So keep a foot or so between us please” and keep it going.

And yes, sometimes (not often) I’ll meet a cold one and she’ll get uptight – I just walk away.

If you’re going to do this, you have to remember to keep it going for the entire time… don’t turn into a dumb ass at the first sign of her liking you. Keep up the character, play hard to get, etc. forever!

How To Tease (How To Speak Woman)

When I first met one particular girl, I took her hand when she got into the car and held it for a few seconds... then took it away saying, “No hand holding this early”, as if it were her idea... then at lunch, I put out my hand for her to take it and then when she went to take it, I moved it before she touched me... then did it again... and again

saying, “No, really...”

registration adultfriendfinder

Finally, after the meal was finished, I reached out for her hand, and she wouldn’t take mine because I had teased her so much. So I actually grabbed her hand and held it and massaged it. This was teasing and teasing...and when she finally gave up, I gave it to her.

Then, when I gave her a hug later on, she kissed me on the cheek or neck a couple of times, and I accused her of kissing me a lot, etc. (The idea is that she’s into me and she’s the aggressor.) One part of this is me doing something (holding her hand) and then accusing her of doing it (“no hand holding this early”).

This kind of behaviour, sending mixed messages, and flirting doesn’t really make sense to most men, but to women it’s magic.

Also, some women really get intrigued if you ‘figure them out’ early on in the game and have their number... and then just ‘laugh at how cute they are’ when they do things. This gets them all freaked out, as they feel like you’re in control, and they don’t know what to do next... like you know all the games they’re playing and won’t fall for any of their old tricks... this makes them nervous as they don’t have any POWER OR AMMO!

They love this, as men are hardly ever in control. And they secretly want someone who is. (It’s VERY important not to become the ‘friend/therapist’ with this information... and start kissing their ass! The idea is to use it to bust on them and not to be understanding.)

I also tell women early on that I think they’ll make a nice ‘friend’.

It’s funny to see how the friendship frame works with them, because this gets them thinking often for the first time, “Wow, maybe I just found a man who is smarter than me, knows my little games, and has higher standards than ME for once... and now he’s talking about being ‘just friends’! Oh no! Doesn’t he like me? Doesn’t he want me like all the other guys?” A key here is to always keep them guessing... never get too into them or they’ll get right into their old games, etc.

Another interesting observation that I’ve made is that women only understand CODE, not direct language.

Little boys tease little girls when they’re 8, and women still love it when they’re 28 and 48. I like to find something about them that they’re just a little insecure about and make fun of it in a way makes them wonder whether or not I’m serious.

The way I see it, women are like the Enigma machines that German U-boats used in World War II.

These machines were able to transmit messages to each other, but also able to change the codes they used each time. Women are much more interested in giving and getting subtle hints.

Telling a woman, “I really like you”, won’t be as effective as saying, “You really like me” in a teasing way. Do you understand?

I speak in metaphor and story, talk about feelings and longings, speak code, and try to never speak directly.

Let me give you a few more examples:

If you want to have sex with a woman, you could say, “Hey, why don’t we have sex?” Go ahead and try that one sometime and let me know how it works for you.

Or, you could try this... Next time you’re alone with a new woman, stand up, take her hand, and pull her up to her feet. Then give her a hug, let go, and sit back down. After she sits again, say, “I just wanted to hug you.” Later hug her again and cuddle with her. While cuddling, smell her neck and tell her how good she smells... and don’t stop. Within a few minutes she’ll be telling you how hot she’s getting.

Two different paths to the same outcome… It’s just that one happens to work about a hundred times better than the other.

Men like to go out hoping to ‘get laid’. Women like the idea of being swept away by the moment… especially when it’s a taboo thing and they shouldn’t be doing it, etc. The more unplanned things seem, the better. For instance, if she happens to wind up in your bedroom and you happen to be massaging her, smelling her, etc. it’s seen as ‘meant to be’ or something that happened in an unplanned romantic way, and therefore a good thing to get swept away by.

If you want to increase your chances of success with women, create scenarios that lead to these situations. Ask yourself, “What situation would facilitate the outcome

that I’m looking for naturally?” Remember that women like to be swept away by the moment; they don’t like to think that they’re being used.

Another fun thing I do to demonstrate to women that I’m savvy and know the language is to interpret gestures and expressions and then comment back as if they had

said something.

So for instance, if a woman looks at someone walking by, then wrinkles up her nose and gets that ‘Gross’ look on her face, I might respond with, “That’s what I was

thinking.”

Get it? I’m pretending like she actually said, “Gross” to me.

Or if a woman takes my hand, I might say, “Oh, really?”

I’m pretending like she said, “I’m attracted to you.”

Women are very expressive with their body language and facial expressions, but they often express themselves in very subtle ways.

If you can tune into these little cues and then respond with fun remarks that show you’re clued in, you’ll be rewarded. (Notice: Do not start ACTING like a woman now that you know this tip. This technique is to be used sparingly and only to let a woman ‘know that you know’ and not as your main approach when interacting with women. Many men make the mistake of learning how women act and then IMITATING them all the time. This is not what you want to do, trust me.)

The Very Attractive Women Are Approached All The Time

I’m going to remind you of something that I talked about earlier in this book: Most attractive women are approached in one way or another all the time by men.

I was watching one of Chris Rock’s stand up routines recently; Chris was telling the women in the audience that anytime a man is being nice, it’s because he’s offering sex (or ‘dick’ as he put it).

So if a guy says, “Wow, you look great!”, what he really means is, “Wow, you really look great, would you like some dick?”

adultfriendfinder registration

And remember that ‘desirable’ women including rich women, beautiful women, and famous women, are used to being treated like queens. (It’s really no fault of theirs; even very handsome men are notorious for acting arrogant. It’s part of being human. We can all become spoiled easily if the right combination of circumstances arises. By the way, it’s good to keep a “You’re spoiled, and I don’t really blame you for it... you were just lucky to be born beautiful and have everyone kiss your ass” attitude...)

Being spoiled, these women act bratty to get their way. However, the ass kissing and always getting their way also has another effect. Since they are so used to being courted and having a man kiss their ass, when you show up, act funny and charming, and don’t play into any of their games (make fun of them, do the pretend ass-

kisser imitation, tell them that they want you, tease them, don’t answer ANY of their questions about job, car, home, social life, where you go, etc. and even label all of

those questions as, “Did you get a list of these questions like all the other shallow women around here?” etc.) it often has the effect of them thinking, “Wow, this is sure

DIFFERENT”, which gets their attention. The humour and arrogance (arrogance based on self-knowing, not on outer success) keeps their attention.

I think that it’s all about interrupting the current train of thought with some type of DIFFERENT AND INTERESTING behaviour. You can use tricks, props, or whatever, but you have to interrupt the woman and first get her attention... then you can get to the good part of doing the things that give her the FEELINGS that she wants and playing the part of the MAN that her unconscious wants.

Many experts talk of establishing rapport, acting like them, etc. initially... I’ve found that breaking rapport usually works better for me. (Rapport is the concept of breathing, moving, and talking like another person so they feel a connection with you.)

But it’s a special kind of breaking rapport that I practice. I break rapport in a funny and charming way, which actually ASSUMES rapport from the beginning. (I insult women that I don’t know in a playful way all the time. Her only real choices with which to respond internally and externally are, “This guy is a jerk - I’m outta here” or “You’ve got some balls - but you’re damn funny - and for some reason, I feel like I know you...”)

When you point out a woman’s quirks or insecurities in a way that makes her laugh, you do so many positive things at once. She can’t deny that the things you’re saying are true, BECAUSE SHE’S LAUGHING. And she can’t really hate you too much, because it’s kind of fun.

How To Be Funny, The One Page Course

Here’s a little mini-course on how to be funny:

First, go read Comedy Writing Secrets by Melvin Helitzer. And while you’re at it, watch some good stand up comedy routines like Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, and Robin Williams. Listen to how they use word play, double meanings, exaggeration, and misinterpretation to create humour.

registering adultfriendfinder

It’s time to get yourself a set of standard things that you can say in some of the most common situations.

Here’s a list that I use personally and examples of instances when you can use them:

OK, there’s a list of basic things that I’ve learned regarding humour. I’d recommend that you start studying humour, read books about it, go to comedy clubs, and learn more advanced skills.

Also, start reading Maxim and Stuff magazines. Read how they always use reversal humour. This is some good funny stuff.

Thinking In Time Frames

Here’s a common problem: A man tries to impress a woman by doing things that show that he’s a good LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP kind of guy, but the woman responds by being stand-offish.

I have read some interesting research that shows that women have a few main categories in their minds in which they slot men.

These are:

Here’s the interesting part: If a woman sees a man as a good potential ‘long-term’ mate, she’ll usually hold back the sex.

adult friendfinder registration

On the other hand, if she gets sexually involved with a man, she’ll usually still be open to a long-term relationship.

Most men who want sex make the mistake of doing things like taking women to dinner, buying them gifts, and being romantic. This behaviour triggers the “Hey, this

guy is good long-term material” category in the woman’s mind, and they hold back sex.

But if a man does things to turn a woman on earlier in the game and she gets sexually involved, he can choose where he wants the relationship to go. Are you with me

on this one?

Go ask some men and women about this idea. They’ll report back to you what I’m telling you. Women know that if a man is doing all the big romantic things like

buying her gifts and taking her out, he is displaying ‘courtship’ types of behaviour. I mentioned earlier that women take hints very well and read into things much more than men. Unfortunately, men have no idea that their good deeds are being interpreted as long-term courtship demonstrations. Ahhhh!

So what’s the solution?

The solution is to stop doing the ‘I’m courting you’ things early on, and start by being attractive, interesting, and sexy. This puts the balance of power in your hands and puts you more in control.

I’m going to say it again: A woman will get into a long-term relationship with a man who she’s sleeping with, but she won’t be as likely to sleep with a man who’s

courting her. Get it?

More On My Way Of Looking At Things

I don’t ask women for permission to do things, and I don’t look to them to lead what’s going to happen next. I used to kind of watch what they were doing and take cues

on how to act. Now I do and say what I want and look for cues from her so I know when to bust her balls.

adultfriendfinder registration

I spent a long time learning how to get phone numbers from women only to realize that this wasn’t the same as success. Then, I learned how to get women to come over to my house only to realize that this wasn’t the same as success. I finally realized that I have to lead the way the entire time – just like in ballroom dancing. I have to know where we’re going and lead the way the entire time.

But my most important realization is that THIS IS MY REALITY, AND SHE IS A GUEST – not the other way around. If a woman tries to play a game with me, put me

off, give me an excuse, etc. I start laughing out loud at her. At first, she doesn’t know what’s going on... but then I say something like, “Cummon... what, are you kidding?

Give me a break.”

This tells them that even their little ploys aren’t going to get by my radar – never mind into my reality. I never get upset at them or let them get to me emotionally (this is key, because if they sense that they’ve found a button, they’ll use it over and over again). As my friend Eric once said, “YOU’RE IN MY REALITY NOW.”

Let me point out that when I’m meeting women, I’m almost NEVER thinking about a ‘long-term relationship’ with them in the beginning. If I like them and later they prove to be someone that really amazes me, then this will be a possibility.

My guess is that strong, exceptional, interesting men who are in control of themselves and their realities are as rare for women as super hot women are rare for men. See where I’m going? Said in a different way, “Why do so many men settle for average or worse looking women?”

I think the logic goes both ways. I mean, I know quite a few ass-kicking men – but this is because I’ve literally spent years finding and making friends with them. Most women aren’t lucky enough to run across one. And when they do, they usually mess it up by being a bitch or uninteresting. So they just settle for whatever the best option is at the moment. And they often wind up getting comfortable in the process.

There’s another interesting point that I’ve noticed lately:

Many of the marriages that I know of that have lasted for many years (10+) have something in common: a woman that subtly controls the man. I mean, think about the plot of most romance novels: Woman meets wild man, woman tames man and lives happily ever after with her new well-behaved BOY.

So keep this in mind when you’re interacting with women.

***Because I may be coming off a bit harshly here, I want to mention something. If you could be in the room with me during my interactions with a new woman that I find interesting, you’d most likely be thinking, “This guy is funny as hell... but he’s really pushing it. I mean, he’s on the borderline of saying something that’s just too damn arrogant. But wow, the woman just seems to get more and more into him as this goes on... interesting.” You would NOT be thinking, “Wow, this guy seems to me like a womanizer who’s mean to women.”

I say this so that you understand that all of the techniques that I employ are part of the all-important ‘Character’ that I discussed earlier.

By staying cocky and funny, women will laugh their asses off, get frustrated that you’re not playing to them, and finally crack and show that they like you.

If you’re just a plain old run of the mill jerk, then none of this will work. The ‘assholes’ who get laid usually have an angle (money, fame, whatever) that they mix

with the assholeness.

Mean, self-centered people with no social attractiveness are usually out of luck.

So keep in mind the all-important ingredient: Humour.

NOTHING works for me like humour mixed with arrogance.

I also want to mention once again that I’m very flexible and in many situations, I will begin to do very sweet and thoughtful things for a woman – just on my terms.

And when it comes to sex (***big key here***) I always pay attention and learn what a woman likes. My goal is to be the most fulfilling lover that she’s had. Mix all this up with some special sauce, and you have the recipe for hot women who love to have sex with you and love you as a person as well because you’re interesting to

them.

Remember, women are not linear, logical creatures. If you do things that make sense, they will do things that don’t make any sense at all.

If you do things that don’t make any sense at all, then women will often do what you want them to do.

It’s just that you have to know exactly WHICH things to do that don’t make sense.

Make sense?

On Predictability

Don’t be predictable. Do the unexpected when they LEAST expect it.

But don’t overdo it by acting extreme too often. If you do the unexpected too much, it will come off as unstable, etc.

People in general, including women, are attracted to the novel... the unusual... the different.

registering adultfriendfinder

Predictability is the enemy of interesting.

If you always act predictable, then by DEFINITION you’re not interesting.

So keep doing things that are interesting and unexpected.

If she wants a kiss, say, “No.” But kiss her later when YOU feel like it. If she sits on your lap, push her off. But give her a hug later when YOU feel like it.

The Dark Side: Don’t do things that are too far out in order to be unpredictable. I said be unpredictable, not UNSTABLE. Don’t get too wild, or you’ll come across as being loopy.

Another facet of this mindset: Don’t be too friendly too early.

This includes touching and smiling. If you do either too much, you’ll mess it up for yourself.

If you act too interested too early, you’ll come across as needy. By leaning back and keeping a calm, indifferent attitude you’ll be more interesting.

I like to take this idea to its extreme by teasing and making a woman beg me for things that she wants and commit to things during times when it’s unfair (in a fun way, of course).

For instance, if she wants a kiss, tell her that you’ll only give her one if she rubs your back, etc. Use your imagination here. The idea is to do things that are unexpected and different.

To summarize, if you become too predictable, you will become uninteresting to a woman. We humans are naturally drawn to things that we cannot completely

figure out. So keep some things a mystery. Do some things that don’t make sense. Don’t be predictable.

Personality Traits That Attract Women

In the next chapter, I’m going to describe MY particular unique personality and the ‘character’ that I become when I’m meeting women.

But before I do that, I’d like to talk about some of the different personality traits that women find most attractive. Some are better when used with others, and some don’t work well together. Here is the list with brief descriptions. I’ll talk more about combining these later.

adultfriendfinder registration
Funny. Humour is just plain powerful with women. If you can keep her laughing, you will go far. Intelligent and Creative. Intelligence is sexy IF it’s used in a way that’s interesting to her. Use your creativity and intelligence to surprise her with ideas, fantasies, and unexpected things that charm her. Educated. Education is attractive to women as long as it’s used in an interesting way. Some women are actually intimidated by education, which usually works in your favor. Classy and Cultured. If you have class, women pick up on it. Do your shoes and belt match? Do you understand interior design and color contrast? Do you know about different types of wine? Do you like foreign movies? Do you understand fashion? Do you like Frank Sinatra? Do you enjoy exotic foods? Do you serve her Hors d’oeuvres and a glass of wine when she visits? Do you open all doors for her? Women notice this stuff BIG TIME. Dominant. Women have an unconscious attraction to dominant men. The dominant males in some primate groups account for up to 75% of all the matings, while the less dominant males go without any. Same goes for humans. Thoughtful. Women don’t just like gifts; they like knowing that you were THINKING of them. The gift is a SYMBOL. Women feel the same amount of good inside whether it’s a card or a diamond (of course, the diamond lasts longer, so there are more ‘times of feeling good’!). But the fact is that women like to know that you’re thinking about them. Even if you’re telling a woman that you don’t like it that she was out with another guy, she’ll like it because it means you were thinking about her! Notices Significant Details. Women don’t just notice details; they USE them to try to be attractive and attentive. If she is wearing a sexy outfit, she didn’t put it on by accident. If her hair is done nicely, it wasn’t a fluke. Women are very impressed and attracted to men who notice these details. Unpredictable/Predictable. Here’s a paradox. Women are drawn to men who they can’t control or predict. They obsess over guys who flirt, give them attention, and then don’t call the next day. Predictability is only attractive when it comes to choosing a HUSBAND. Then a woman usually wants a man who’s VERY predictable. Enthusiastic, Fun, Happy. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than a killjoy. Some men get upset and pout when a woman is happy and try to put down the things that she enjoys to sound superior, which is usually a HUGE mistake. Enthusiasm is infectious and attractive. Adventurous. Women are instantly attracted to men who like to do extreme, adventurous, unusual, and even dangerous things. It’s exciting. Adventurism is sexy. Aggressive. Women love men that know what they want and go after it. Passion is a sign of life. I’m not talking about the kind of aggressive that turns into date rape. I’m talking about the kind of aggressive that turns into setting a goal and then going after it with passion and getting it no matter what. Confident/Cocky. Women are magnetically attracted to men who are just a little bit too cocky. Just a little bit. This is a tough one to explain. Many men take this to mean ‘overly arrogant’, which is not what I mean. If you watch Pierce Brosnan in ‘The Thomas Crown Affair’, Clarke Gable in ‘Gone With The Wind’, or Tom Cruise in ‘Top Gun’, you’ll get an idea of what I’m talking about. The confident/cocky trait is mild overconfidence combined with humour. Drives women wild. Expertise. If you’re an expert in an area that is interesting to your kind of woman, this can be attractive. It needs to be presented from a “I know a lot about this, let me show you” perspective and not a “I’m cool and you’re not” angle. Attention. Women like attention. And interestingly enough, it’s better to hint at the attention that you’re giving them than to be too overt about it. If you say, “I was thinking about you earlier today, and I just wanted to mention that I really like the sound of your voice...” it’s much more powerful than listening to them complain about something so they think you’re paying attention. Get it? Disinterest, Indifference, a Challenge. Most women are used to being pursued by men in one way or another. If you are indifferent to a woman, make her think that you’re only calling because you’re bored and act almost disinterested sexually, they’ll often do their very best to get your attention. Different is good in this case. Again, this drives most women crazy, and even though they’d hate to admit it, it’s ultra interesting to them.   Charm (attention with a polished, smooth approach). This is hard to describe. Watch a James Bond movie to get an idea. And watch ‘Dirty Rotten Scoundrels’. Pay attention to Michael Caine’s character. Charm is powerful because it has a certain ‘prince on a white horse’ aspect to it. Romantic Imagination and Perspective. Watch the movie ‘Don Juan DeMarco’ and listen to how Don Juan interprets the world. Instead of just looking at the surface of a woman, he looks within her to find the beautiful part. A romantic imagination sees opportunities for poetic comments, interesting stories, fascinating history, and emotional interpretation in everything. Expert in Body Language. This is important, as women are constantly sending signals. I’ll talk more about this in a later chapter. Sexual Mastery. Women love sex just as much as men do. But just like everything else in life, a great lover is not easy to find. Women become instantly addicted to skillful lovers who know how to make them feel ecstasy and teach them new ways of feeling incredible.

Every woman is slightly different. There is no one magic system to which every woman responds. If what you’re doing doesn’t work, don’t throw out the system...

try it on a different woman.

The most successful men I know will tell you that they are only successful because they are able to accept ‘no’ and not take it personally. Again, unsuccessful men take a ‘rejection’ as a personal assault on their inner child. Don’t make this mistake.

So start right now. Take a moment and describe the type of woman you’d like to attract and write down the qualities that you think will attract her. Then go to work cultivating these qualities.

The idea is to create your own winning combination and then find a place to use it that offers the best chances for success. You want to come across as interesting, unique, original, and desirable.

By the way, if you don’t know what the women who you’re interested in are attracted to, ASK! That’s right, just walk up to them whenever you see one and say, “Can I ask you a question? I’m sure that you’re probably in a relationship right now, but will you tell me something... I want to know what it is that attracts a woman like you to a man. What do you look for?”

You’ll find that most of the women you pose this question to will be glad to tell you. As a matter of fact, you’ll even find that some will help you in other ways if you ask. They’ll go shopping with you, help you decorate your house, help you choose a hairstyle... everything.

But most guys are afraid to ask, or they feel like a puss because they are asking a woman for help. Do yourself a favor. If you are having trouble, get help. Women are amazingly generous when they are helping a man get his ‘attractiveness’ together.

Let’s Be Friends

Have you ever noticed how women will say, “I like him, but only as a FRIEND.”

Don’t you hate that?

I thought about that one for a long time, and a friend of mine and I have figured out how to turn this one around. Now I always make reference to ‘making friends’ and ‘let’s get together and make friends’ and ‘if nothing else, we can be friends’ in the first conversation and when setting up the first coffee date.

registration adult friend finder

Then when on the date, I talk about why I like to make ‘friends’ first to get to know the other person. “I think that you’re going to make a nice friend.”

Then, after the friendship frame is established, I flirt like hell and make sexual innuendoes and jokes. This immediately sets up the idea that I’m very in control of myself and that I’m going to JUDGE whether l want to be more than friends based on something more than JUST HER LOOKS.

This is something that a woman has most likely NEVER encountered (as you know, this is a favorite of mine).

By the way, if you talk about being friends first, it makes you remember to look past the looks and find out what kind of person you’re dealing with (If I had a dollar for every guy I know, including myself, that screwed his life up by getting too involved with a woman because she was attractive on the outside, but turned out to be a horrible person...)

You can keep up this ‘let’s be friends’ fun forever. Even after you start dating, still talk about it. It’s easy to have fun with it. You’ll see.

How Women Test Men And Why

In my opinion, most women, especially the ‘hotties’, have gone through a learning curve here in our western culture that has on average given them a sort of ‘predictable psychological makeup’. Now, there are differences between these women… some are smart, some are not… some are tall, some are short… some are cerebral, some are physical… etc. etc. etc… but there are things that most of them have in common. I’ve made a study of these things… because this is what interests me.

At some point in their lives, hotties began to be treated differently because they were attractive. I mentioned the social psychology concept earlier called ‘The Halo Effect’. Simply stated, attractive people are assumed to be smarter, more honest, more trustworthy, etc. than others. The fact that people do whatever the hottie wants begins to blur their sense of reality and makes them believe that they can have whatever they want whenever they want it… AND THAT’S JUST THE WAY LIFE IS. (This applies in general.)

registration adultfriendfinder

You’ll notice that many super-hotties will throw tantrums if they don’t like what’s going on or aren’t getting their way… this is a sure sign that they are not living in the same reality as most people… when they don’t get what they want, they get upset because this has worked since they were little…

Now, on a subconscious level, I’ve noticed that most hot women realize that they are being ridiculous when they act like bitches, throw tantrums, etc. but it doesn’t really matter because it still WORKS for them when they want what they want… are you with me?

Underneath all of this behaviour, they are still FEMALE and they are looking for what other females are also looking for…

What are women looking for?

Well, for the record, I have no idea. After 30 years of studying people, Freud said that there was one question that he didn’t have the answer to… “What do women want?” Nice.

BUT, here’s my take on it: First and foremost, they want a man who is in CONTROL (of the situation, himself, his emotions, other people, her… control of the entire

reality that they share).

Let me ask you, if you were a woman who wanted to test a man to see if he will stay in control, how would you do it? Would you ask the man, “If I get out of hand, will you spank me and put me in my place?”

NO WAY!!!

So they test us by CHALLENGING us to see if we’ll stay in control. The reason I do all of this “Never give a woman a direct answer… unless it’s NO… Never give a woman exactly what she wants…” etc. is, ironically, to give her what she REALLY wants… a man who’s in control.

Women want a challenge. Think romance novel themes… if you don’t know what I’m talking about, sit down for a week and read “Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women” by Jayne Krentz… “How to Succeed With Women By Being A Jerk” by F.J. Shark… “Endless Rapture” by Helen Hazen… and “Bad Boys” by Margie Palatini… and think about it.

Most of the time, I’m enjoying myself, talking about whatever comes up, making jokes, and generally behaving like a normal person.

But, like anything else, if these techniques are used too much, they become worthless… so they must be used with precision and at the right moments.

What’s interesting is that because I usually (but not always) do these teasing and seemingly controlling things with a bit of a dry humour spin, I believe that the woman who I’m with has an internal response like, “Wow, this guy is cocky, but I can’t tell if he’s serious or not… and I want to find out… but either way, he’s funny and he’s staying interested in me and not being flagrantly abusive… so he must be interested at SOME level…”

The key is to WATCH FOR THE TESTS and be ready when they come.

Most guys screw up when a woman acts bratty… or when a woman gets upset, they say, “Oh, I’m sorry” and mess it up. Or they act nervous, etc. You have to stay in control… If a woman starts getting angry, instead of getting nervous say, “Oh, poor baby is throwing a tantrum… So what. You’ve been doing the same thing since you were 2, and you didn’t get your way.”

SPANK!

Another realization I’ve had is that most women are totally intrigued by men who seem uninterested and  crass… it’s almost like they say to themselves, “Wow, this guy seems kind of cocky… and I can’t believe that he’s not interested in having sex with me like all the other dumb pussies that I meet… He’s funny and smart… I

wonder if I can get him interested in me… and when I do, I’ll just dump him like the other losers… but this might be fun…”

Get it?

But if you are going to act this way, you have to keep it up until the end… and I mean to the end.

I’m going to address the ‘treating women well’ issue again.

I treat women very well… they always tell me that they’ve never met a man who treats them so well, etc.

How can this be when I seem like such a ball buster?

Well, it’s simple really… I do nice things for them ON MY OWN TERMS. I will surprise them with a thoughtful e-mail or a card… or I might give them a nice massage… I open doors and walk on the outside of the curb… But part of most women’s romantic fantasy (in my opinion) is the man taking control of the situation and doing things on HIS terms. Try it for yourself… next time you’re going to meet a woman, tell her what to wear… choose the food and tell her to trust you… if she asks for a kiss, say, “No”… but kiss her later when YOU feel like it… if you know that she likes chocolate, and she asks for some… don’t give it to her… but surprise her with some next time you see her… get it?

Here are a couple of rules of thumb that I use:

Hot women can have anything they want. What they want is a challenge… something that keeps their interest. If a woman can have anything she wants anytime she wants it, then WHY THE HELL DO GUYS THINK THAT THEY’RE GOING TO BE INTERESTING BY DOING THE SAME THING THAT EVERY OTHER GUY HAS DONE? Duh.

Always send mixed signals. Tell her I want to be friends and kiss her. Tell her what she just did was unacceptable and then go kiss her. Spank her if she does something nice. Also, respond differently to the same thing. For example, one time if she comes over and sits on my lap, I kiss her. Another time I push her off… get it? Never be predictable… NEVER.

For the record, when I say, “always” and “never”, I don’t really mean “ALWAYS 100% WITHOUT EXCEPTION EVER.” I mean that you should do these as much as you possibly can, because you really can’t overdo any of them as long as you stay cocky and funny while you’re doing them.

The test is always, “Is she laughing, smiling, having fun most of the time?” If so, you can’t overdo these four rules.

The Six Things That Attract Women

I’ve done a lot of research on this topic, and I believe that women are most attracted to these six things:

Now, numbers one through five are largely out of your immediate control. If you’re not rich, you’re probably not going to get rich this week. If you’re not famous or tall, you’re probably not going to be in a hit movie or grow 6 inches in the next 24 hours.

adult friendfinder registration

So that leaves us with number six: PERSONALITY.

The good news is that as far as I’m concerned, your personality is your GREATEST ASSET in the success-with-women game.

Fortunately, it’s the one thing you can change. And it’s the one thing that can OVERCOME all the rest. After you’ve done what you can to look your best, etc. you have to develop a personality that’s absolutely magnetic. Now let’s talk about how you can do just that.

By the way, the one quality that attracts women the most (and keeps them attracted) is not something that they can initially ‘look’ for. It’s the way they FEEL when they are with you or thinking of you. If you don’t have wealth, power, fame, or looks, you’re going to have to use your personality to make them FEEL good. In the end, your personality is the most powerful asset you have.

How To Meet Women

OK, now let’s talk about the nuts and bolts of how to meet women.

Guys are constantly trying to find new ‘angles’ and ‘lines’ so that it can ‘appear natural’ when they talk to a woman. I mean, hell... most women’s fantasy is to meet a guy in a charming place and have this whole unplanned romantic thing happen right out of a movie (irony: unplanned and right out of a movie).

registration adultfriendfinder

I really think that instead of trying to mask a pick-up, just make it damn good. If you can just be in the ‘more interesting’ category, you’ll get her attention, which is a major step. Then you can lean into the cocky and funny routine and take it from there.

Don’t try to hide the fact that you’re picking a woman up — be great at it, then get into cocky and funny (and reframe as them picking you up! Ha).

Your Enemies Are Insecurity and Neediness

Insecurity and neediness are two of the biggest obstacles to success with women. Insecurity and neediness are like hemlock and arsenic – either will kill your attractiveness when dealing with women.

A man is needy when he craves attention or recognition. He shows that he’s insecure when he ACTS on these needs.

adultfriendfinder registration

Insecurity shows up when a man does not feel comfortable with who he is or comfortable in a given situation. He acts tentative, weak, and unsure. He tries to put on a show of confidence which is obviously fake. He says things that are out of place in an attempt to get approval.

Women detect insecurity and neediness INSTANTLY.

Here are some examples of insecurity and neediness to avoid:

Hanging on a woman. Don’t touch a woman or crowd her too much in the beginning. Women take it as a sign of neediness and insecurity. Instead, lean back and let her become comfortable being around you. Talking or saying negative things about women or past girlfriends. If you talk too much about past girlfriends or other women, or say negative things about them, a woman will judge you to be insecure. Having emotional responses to things. If it’s obvious to a woman that you easily get upset about things, then she will judge you to be insecure. Looking to others to make decisions. Women like it when you decide what’s going to happen and then do it. If you are always asking, “Well, what do you think I should do?”, “Where do you want to go tonight?”, and “What do you want?”, you’ll come off as needy. Just make decisions and go with it. If she has a different idea, she’ll let you know. Saying or doing things just to be noticed or to get compliments. I’ve known a lot of men who try to act cool or show off to get attention. This approach telegraphs to a woman that you’re insecure and needy. Don’t do it. If you’re cool, she’ll figure it out without you telling her. Arguing. This is my favorite. Some people feel like they need to argue with EVERYTHING. If you’re one of these people, just realize that this is a clear demonstration that you’re insecure and needy. You may always be right, but being overly argumentative is bad for your sex life. Deal with it. If you really want to argue with something, do it in a funny way and not in a serious way.

On Being A Man

There is a lot controversy around the differences between men and women. My perspective is that men and women are different in many ways and that they usually respond differently to various types of communication.

And as politically incorrect as this might sound, I believe that most women respond very strongly to ‘masculine’ men. The more confident, arrogant, and dominant I’ve acted, the more women have responded to me emotionally and sexually. (I’m not talking about hitting a woman over the head and dragging her to your cave, Bubba.)

And now that I’ve thought about it a lot and interviewed dozens of women about this topic, I’ve realized that weak men are generally not attractive to women. Women may demand things, whine, and act like a pain, but it’s usually all a test of one sort or another.

If you’re weak, shy, or submissive, get over it. Start walking a little taller, acting a little more self-centered, and taking what you want.

registering adultfriendfinder

Now, I have to be careful here. I want to make sure you don’t start acting like an ‘asshole’ to women. The masculine man says, “No” to a woman calmly. The Asshole says, “No” to a woman in an angry tone. Get it?