Dating A Stripper: The Pros, Woes and the Hos

It’s totally unfair to say that one can’t have a successful adult dating relationship with a stripper. First off, not all strippers are alike, however, there sure are relationship problems which are specific to working in the industry. You need to figure out how to tell if the two of you will be compatible.

Why is she stripping? This can be a telling factor in whether you may want to stay with her or not. If she is working her way through college, then it may be possible to set your feelings about her job to the side. But, if she strips because it gives her power or makes her feel desirable, then be prepared for a low self esteem and a whole lot of baggage. What are her future plans for her stripping? Is it just a gig or does she see it as a career? In the event that she got fired, many strippers find it difficult to transition into a regular job because of their lack of job skills.

Is there intimacy between you and her? When a stripper spends every night forcing intimacy with strangers, it can be difficult to not force it at home. Also, after she feels objectified by men night after night, she might not be excited to find a horny boyfriend at home. When it comes to the pros of dating a stripper, there are some benefits. She is probably good looking and has a nice body with a decent sense of rhythm. If she goes into her job with a rational mind, she will have entertaining stories to tell, and frankly, you will get to have what hundreds of guys are having a fantasy about.

Are there really pros to dating a stripper? I’m talking about the professionals, you know, the ones who take their craft to the next level and find another way to rake in more moony. There are many strippers who have sex or perform other acts with clients and unfortunately this is a large part of the lifestyle.

Ultimately, if you feel that none of this is a deal breaker, then give it a try. Don’t let us steer you away from something that could be true love relationship.

Homoerotic Horror Sequel Drinking Game

It’s the Halloween season which means many of your adult dating lives will be surrounded by the creepy and paranormal. Unfortunately, *(for some that is) it also means having to endure very shitty and old horror movies. Instead of dreading the next horror movie night your significant other will force you to go to, embrace it by holding your own homoerotic horror sequel drinking game only for your adult friends.

If you don’t already know, A Nightmare On Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge and former sex offender Victor Salva’s Jeepers Creepers 2 are hailed for being the most homoerotic horror sequels of all time. Instead of cringing with embarrassment when seeing teenage boys pee next to each other in an open field or when seeing Mark Patton exclaim how Freddy is inside him, let the alcohol induce all your cringing instead!

Read the following rules for the ultimate Halloween drinking game! Remember to bring a bottle of aspirin and gatorade…you’ll need them!

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART 2: FREDDY’S REVENGE

Freddy is out of the closet and he's flaming!

One Sip
every time you see something that would suggest Jesse is gay in his bedroom or house
everytime a male character gets slapped in the ass (by hand or towel)

Two Sips
Every time Jesse says Freddy or somebody is inside of him
Every time Jesse screams like a girl
Every time Jesse turns down Lisa

Three sips
*Call on the homoerotic commissioner to point out anything that they think is overtly homoerotic.

Do a shot!
When Jesse dances
When Balls Take Over the Screen

Jeepers Creepers 2

One Sip
When You see a shirtless guy
When the creeper flirts with a guy

Two Sips
When The Creepers Kills a Male
When you see Justin Long’s belly button tattoo
When any character accuses another character of being gay

Three Sips
*homoerotic commissioner calls the shots!

Do a shot
When the guys are singing about fighting cock
When the guys pee together
When the teenage men are tanning
When the Creeper makes a weird O face.

Why We Stay

Out of loyalty, for the kids and sometimes even for the

It’s all in the pay-off. It’s all about us getting what we need to get through our lives and relationship. It’s all about some sort of need we have that gets met even if in the process of meeting the need of our lover, we struggle to stay afloat.

Other people can criticize an emasculated man, but the man allows the emasculation. Her girlfriends might curse their friend’s demanding and demeaning husband, but the woman stays because in the end, even if the man cuts his woman’s self esteem to the quick, the woman is still getting something much more from staying then she imagines she would leaving.

It’s the classic Florence Nightingale Syndrome, the reason men gravitate towards needy women and why the abused stay with their abusers. The life we know fulfills some need, even if staying is not good for our general mental or physical health.

The agony of supposing a life with the need met, the habit broken, the addiction fulfilled and submerged is often so scary that even when we are full-up, done, complete with why we have stayed in the relationship we might stay longer or even search for another just like it once we leave it. Time and again we repeat patterns to either cure ourselves of what we missed somewhere in our development or because we are not yet full-up from what we need.

The Best Fake Romantic Movie Trailers Onscreen

If you have been reading my adult dating blog for a while now, you know that I am a huge movie buff and the latest trend that I can’t get enough of is the fake trailer phenomenon. Sure, Grindhouse has exploited the fake trailers with gratuitous shots of sex and gore, however I get a kick out of seeing romantic comedies promote the same fake trailers onscreen. It’s so utterly random and most times these fake romantic comedy/dramas are making fun of the genre in hilarious ways with random cameo appearances for no reason. Here is a list of my favorite non Grindhouse fake trailers:

5. Dog’s Best Friend- FUNNY PEOPLE

In Judd Apatow’s third full length feature film, Adam Sandler basically plays a very similar version of himself as his character is also a huge A-list actor who sells out on an annual basis. In the Dog’s Best Friend fake “bromance” trailer, Adam is hugging his dying dog and basically making fun of movies like Turner and Hooch and Man’s Best Friend. Funny, the fake trailer looked a billion times better than Adam’s real trailer for Jack and Jill.

4. Jason Segel and Rashida Jones Romantic Comedy-FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

In the recent Friends With Benefits film, Jason Segel and Rashida Jones star in a fake movie within a movie about finding love in New York City–when it’s blatantly obvious the fake film was shot in L.A. I found this to be funny simply because the fake trailer exemplifies the weaknesses and flaws in Friends With Benefits as well.

3. Deception- THE HOLIDAY

Remember the days when Lindsay Lohan was still relevant? In 2o06, Lindsay Lohan and James Franco filmed a fake trailer for the film, The Holiday where Franco played a spy trying to save Lindsay Lohan’s life. Too bad the movie was as memorable as Lohan’s career.

2. Satan’s Alley-TROPIC THUNDER

I loved Tropic Thunder and the best part in the movie in my humble opinion was the Satan’s Alley fake trailer where Robert Downey Jr. and Tobey Maguire play two homosexual monks. I have no idea what I like the most: Engima’s Sadeness playing in the background or the MTV Best Kiss Winner label for Tobey Maguire

1. Teresa: The Making Of A Saint-How To Lose Friends And Alienate People

If you haven’t seen How To Lose Friends And Alienate People, you should do so immediately because it’s one of the most inappropriately hilarious films I have ever seen. Megan Fox plays Sophie Maes, a cokehead version of herself in this absurd comedy. In the film, a fake trailer for the film Teresa: The Making of a Saint plays in the background. The fact that they made a fake trailer of Megan Fox playing a young Mother Teresa is so wrong on so many levels–despite the fact I can’t stop laughing when I see it.

Want A Better Sex Life? You Don't Have To Break Up To Get It

Sex is an essential part of every intimate relationship and without it, your relationship can suffer. Whether you’re just having a dry spell, or you’ve realized that you and your dating partner aren’t physically compatible, it’s no fun when the sex is bad. Should you suffer through subpar sex as long as everything else is okay? Believe it or not, if you’re willing to put in some effort on your own part, you may find you will have to do neither.

Does bad sex equal a break up? If the sex is bad and you’re not that compatible overall, then it makes sense to break up. If everything else in your relationship is good, you can’t let a bad sex life ruin things for you. If you’re not having sex at all, you should just flat out address the decision. Work with your mate to get back into the habit of having more sex. Tell them that you miss having it because you really enjoy it. But, don’t be pushy. The thing about sex is that the more you have it, the more you want it. Over a few weeks you should find yourself getting back into the swing of things.

Give your partner pointers: What if you are having sex, but it’s just terrible?The next time you’re doing the deed, playfully suggest that you try something new, act like it’s an adult fantasy of yours. Partners want to satisfy you, so they should be open to receiving a few gentle pointers when you’re in the heat of the moment. Be careful not to be critical of what they’re doing wrong. Just steer them away from whatever it is they’re doing bad. If subtle hints don’t work, you may want to sit down and have a serious discussion about it

Communication is the most important tool you have : When it comes to having better sex, communication is key. If you can handle things diplomatically, you will probably get the results you want. Keep the mood light and word things as kindly as possible. If there are positive things your partner does, point them out, Compliment them where you can and negative remarks wont seem as hurtful. If you both really care about each other, you will find a way to make it work.

Male PMS Syndrome

The fairer sex may be known for monthly mood swings, however that doesn’t mean men can’t have their own temper tantrums from time to time. Even the most well-adjusted adult can be moody for stupid reasons and men can be cranky for the stupidest reasons.

Here are a few reasons for male crankiness.

Their Sport Team Loses

For some reason, men take the loss of their favorite sports team as a personal loss. Sometimes, it actually is if they bet money on their losing team. At least most don’t feel the need to riot like Vancouver men did recently.

They Haven’t Masturbated In A Whole Three Days

Every guy needs to masturbate. It’s a fact. It doesn’t matter if they’re in a relationship or not. If they don’t jack off on a regular basis, they turn into jackasses. Never deny a man of his alone time!

Bad Work Day

Unlike women, men have a harder time not bringing their horrible work frustrations home with them. Sometimes, after a bad day at work, they might take it out on their significant others, just because they’re there.

Not Enough ALONE Time

Women may feel inclined to be around their boyfriends or husbands 24/7, however men need time to decompress. They like to have a beer in peace. They like to read the paper without their women nagging them about taking out the garbage. They like to go out for a coffee without being BBM’d every two seconds. Taking away a man’s privacy is sure-fire way of making him extra moody.

They’re Lost

Men do not like asking for directions EVER. They like to think they don’t need simple things like GPS or maps to get to a location they have never been to. They especially don’t like it when their significant others point out that they are indeed lost. It’s a stupid thing to get mad over, but it will never change.

Enjoy April Sex Showers!

April Showers may be known to bring May flowers, but it also brings the urge to have wet and wild sex with your partner. According to an adult dating study, 56% of couples are more prone to have sex in the shower on a rainy day and April is full of them! Don’t let the cold and damp weather get you down! Take off your wet clothes and get ready for some steamy hot fucking now! Here are some tips on how to have the best shower sex experience:

1.  Invest in a bath mat. They’re super cheap and not only can they help prevent you from breaking your neck in the shower, they are also very handy when you want to try multiple xxx sex positions.

2. Have some soapy foreplay action! One of the most intimate things a couple can do is to lather each other down in the shower. Let the suds soothe you and see how fast the velvety wet touch of your partner’s skin will turn you on. No need for the lube in the shower when you have slippery soap to keep you wet.

3. Clear all the Shampoo and bath items! You’re going to need all the room you can get when having sex in the shower, so make sure to clear everything from your tub before you get hot and heavy. The last thing you need is to worry about shampoo getting all over the place in the throes of passion.

4. Be inventive! Sticking to the good ol’faithful doggy style position may get boring after a while, so why not be courageous by trying some amazing stand up positions and sitting positions? Also, get some kinky use out of the shower head for ultimate pleasure.

How To Give Her Mind Numbing Orgasms

One will never know when I woman is being sincere when she has an orgasm because so many woman are admitting to faking them! So the question in every mans mind is; how can I know for certain that she’s not faking it?

Let’s first start with a few facts about women:

• 70% of women have never had an orgasm with a man.


• 25% of men will get turned down by their own lovers over half the times. These men have women who think sex is a chore.


• Nearly 50% of men have partners that will never ask for sex.


• 92% of women will fake orgasm just to get it over with. Therefore, what most men are doing simply isn’t working.

If you are one of these men who find it difficult to give their dating partner an orgasm, then you need to resort to giving her a clitoral orgasm. This is also known as a G spot orgasm and you’re first off going to have to know where it is in order to simulate it.

It’s crazy how many women have never had an orgasm. Then there are the lucky ones who only enjoy an orgasm once every few years. Just imagine yourself only having an orgasm a few times a year! That would be the end of the world.

If you really want an in depth look at how to give your woman reoccurring orgasms, then you should definitely take a look at a book called the Female Orgasm Black Book. It has everything that you need to know from A to Z when it comes to giving orgasms. For example:

• Why being a great pick up artist doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll be a stud in bed.


• How to tell if she is faking it and how to tell if it’s real.


• A simple short cut on how to know exactly how she wants to be touched.


• How to create a setting in your home that will make her want to have sex.


• The best positions that will give her an orgasm.


• The most common female orgasm problems and how to fix it.

So, once you get this book and you read it and do everything it tells you too, be prepared to have a lot of sex. You’re partner will not want to go back to having sex once every 3 to 6 months. She is going to want you to work her magic on you every chance you can and carry out her adult fantasy!

How To Not End Up Like J.Lo

Nobody’s sex life is as thrilling as Jennifer Lopez’s, mainly due to the fact that she has made so many adult dating mistakes in the past and now in the present.

She got married to a Cuban restaurant owner and divorced him to date a rapper. When he couldn’t help her career she moved on to a backup dancer. When he provided no drama to the table, she cheated on him and got engaged to superstar. When she realized Ben Affleck was untameable, she moved on to a talented yet sickly looking musician/actor and ended up trapped in a dead end relationship for many years. Now fresh from her separation, she says she’s ready for love again. Does this make any f*cking sense at all?

JDS (J.Lo Dating Syndrome) is a very serious problem and it affects many women every day. If you have this syndrome, you must give yourself the time to heal from your past relationship wounds before going back into the dating world. A woman suffering from JDS uses her relationships as a false way to heal a broken heart and this woman most likely has no idea what it takes to be in a real relationship and more importantly, what she really wants from one.

If you want to know how to avoid being another JDS statistic, here’s how:

1. Take the time to yourself and get used to your single life first.

2. Have a understanding of what loves means and looks to you. (Sex And The City is NOT your life.)

3. Examine what you need to do and let go of in order to meet the right person who will love you right.

Why the Zombie Apocalypse Will Do Wonders For Your Love Life

Well, it’s May 24th, 2011 and the world is still here. Everybody seems to be rejoicing in their “new found” freedom by going back to their complicated adult dating lives. However, what happens when the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse actually does come to bite all the skeptics in the ass? Everybody that ever laughed over George A. Romero’s Dead series will wish they boned up on their zombie survival tactics guide, although those that were mocked for preparing for the dead walking the earth will benefit from the world’s decay. Here are a few reasons why the Zombie Apocalypse will benefit your love and sex life instantly.

“Slim” Pickings

Fatties go first. It’s not discriminatory, it’s just statistics. The chances of you meeting slim girls to protect are a lot larger than plumper gals. Don’t tell me I’m going to Hell. Harold Camping already let me know that years ago.

Teen Wolf Syndrome

Remember the times you were constantly ridiculed by your classmates in High School? During the Zombie Apocalypse, all those painful memories that haunted you will disappear when you are able to finally outrank the so-called buff men that didn’t have enough sense to stock up on guns, wood and canned foods. Women will see you as “the Alpha male” instead of the “eternal dork” you were once referred to as.

Mortality Sex

Once you’re in a constant life and death situation, you may be surprised at how high a woman’s libido will be. You may also be surprised at how her painfully high standards drops drastically when she sees you wield your phallus shaped cricket bat like a deadly weapon.

Stamina

Your training exercises for the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse will not only help you survive, but it will help you last longer in bed as well. She will be amazed by your skills and she will probably wonder why she wasted her time on bad boys with pre-ejaculatory problems before the Apocalypse.

Celebrity Meal Ticket-Seekers

According to the urban dictionary, a meal ticket is someone who seeks fame, fortune and wishes to be showered with gifts in a relationship.

You don’t have to be a nobody to be a meal ticket seeker as there have been plenty of B to D list celebrities that have used their adult dating lives as means to seek fame and fortune by hooking up with a more popular celebrity.

After George Clooney showed up with his rebound sex tart, Stacey Kiebler at the Toronto International Film Festival, I started to think how many other celebrities have used other celebrities as their meal tickets. Here is a quick list of some of the recent A-list meal ticket seekers:

Kris Humphries

This basketball player wasn’t on anybody’s radar until he started dating Kim Kardashian. Now that they have gotten married, all you see is him plastered on tabloid rags and even this dim-witted man is too smart for the “famous for nothing” bimbo.

Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel was C-list before hooking up with Justin Timberlake and once she got involved with him, she moved to the B-list. No wonder she is attempting to get back with him. (despite his now public affair with Mila Kunis)

Kat Von D

Kat Von D became a recognizable name outside of TLC and tattoo lovers when she got involved with cheater Jesse James after his very public divorce with Sandra Bullock. Maybe she can tattoo ‘get a clue’ on her forehead.

Kevin Federline

The king of Celebrity meal tickets seekers! Do I really need to explain why. I’m so glad he’s fat now.

Majority of George Clooney’s Exes

George is a classy guy, so classy that he always tries to seek serious relationships with people who are not in the limelight. Remember the bartender he took to the Oscars? Remember his Italian love Elisabeth? Unfortunately, all these girls crave the limelight and end up becoming pathetic women seeking reality shows after their break-ups with the hunky silver fox.