Have A Mind Blowing Yogasm?

Have you been stressed out in your adult dating life? Has the sex been dwindling in your relationship? Why not kill two birds with one stone by having a yogasm today! Yoga is great at keeping a person’s stress levels low and it’s even better for increasing your chances of having a mind blowing orgasm.

Rumors of the mysterious yogasm have been going around for years, but up until this year, many people were afraid to take about the unexplained sensation. Teachers, students and sex researchers have been honing in on the yoga orgasm phenomenon. Women have been openly discussing how a woman can bring herself to climax without even touching herself.

Yoga’s goal is to strengthen the muscles in and around the genitalia, which is the equal to weight lifting for the genitals. (Yeesh!) When ladies work out their PC or Kegel muscles, the tissue around the g-spot get swollen and leads to orgasm….hence the term YOGASM.

Now if women can get over the visual image of a dumbbell being hung from their labia lips, then maybe more of them would be on board for having a yogasm. They shouldn’t be discouraged from exploring their sexuality without having to buy expensive dildos and batteries all the time to get off. Now a woman can get off and work out at the same time. What’s not to love?

So what are you waiting for? Have you first yogasm now!

Study 'Discovers' Women Like Casual Fucking

Here’s a surprising (not!) adult dating study for you: women love casual fucking just as much as men as long as the experience is safe and pleasing. Basically, the study, which was out of the University of Michigan, was trying to combat the findings of a very dated but oft-cited 1989 study that had random men and women approach aff members of the opposite sex on the street and ask them if they wanted to get their xxx on. While 75 percent of the men said yes, almost none of the women accepted. Everyone since has been saying this means women only want sex when it means babies and love while mean just want to fuck whoever whenever for whatever reason.

Obviously there are an insane number with problems with the 89 study, most predominantly, the fact that those women might have thought the dude asking them to fuck on the street was a rapist.

Anyways, this study put it all straight. Basically this is how Teri Conley, one of the psychologists on the project, sums ups its finding: “When women are presented with proposers who are equivalent in terms of safety and sexual prowess, they will be equally likely as men to engage in casual sex.”

Yes, anyone who has ever been on an sex dating site already realizes this. But thanks for science-ifying it.

Six Cohabiting Passion Killers

Once you reached the stage to moving in together in your adult dating life, things at first seems like a dream come true. You find yourself playing house and having sex on an hourly basis. Unfortunately, the more time goes by, the more comfortable you will be around one another which means you will allow each other to see how hygenically-deficient you really are. It doesn’t matter how safe you are, if you live together you will never be able to hide the fact that you are in fact human and a dirty one at that. Here are just a handful of passion and mood killers in relationships and how you can solve them.

Toe Nail Clippings

You ever found yourself sitting on the couch and are covered in various shaped toe nail clippings? Some are rolled up, some are covered in chipped nail polish and some are simply shaped like mini boomerangs scattered around you. Finding these toe clippings can kill your libido and your last nerve. All you need to do is make sure to clip your toe nails in the bathroom and discard your toe clippings in the waste basket and toilet. It’s really as simple as that.

Farts

The first fart in the relationship is always a funny and memorable one. All of sudden, you two are cracking up and in some way it’s a bonding experience for the both of you. Unfortunately, the more frequent the farts get, the more likely it is you will not be turned on to your partner like you used to. Letting out a fart when you’re laughing so hard is funny. Letting out a wet fart in bed when you’re lying naked beside your partner or letting one go in the middle of receiving oral sex is unacceptable. If your bodily functions are frequent, take some BEANO and make sure not to eat junk food or dairy before you go to bed.

Cum Rags

We all know sex can be messy, but one thing it shouldn’t be is disgusting. When you first get together, you always made sure to equip yourself with a box of Kleenex by the bedside and it would be quickly disposed of. Once you’ve been together for a long time, you will notice piles of dirty clothes with hard white stains on them. This is unacceptable. Treat your rags like you would your used condoms. Get rid of them as soon as you can!

Skid Marks

Guys are most notorious for leaving horrifying skid marks on their underwear and most times their girlfriends are the ones who discover it. Nothing turns off a woman more than a guy who can’t seem to wipe his own ass properly. Make sure to buy 2 ply toilet paper and to do your own laundry for now on if you have this problem.

Menstrual Blood

There is nothing more disgusting to a man than looking at menstrual blood….especially when it’s all over the toilet seat and bathroom floor. Not only is it a turn off, it also is a frightening sight as well. Women need to be far more ‘aware’ of their surroundings when applying or inserting pads or tampons to avoid embarrassment.

“Number 2″

Remember the times when it seemed like neither of you ever went to the bathroom? Well when you live with one another, you will unfortunately get to notice how often both you go to the bathroom for “number two.” It could be quite appalling when you manage to stink up the entire apartment or house and it can be equally appalling when hearing the grunts and groans come from the bathroom. Make sure to turn on the tap, invest in air fresheners and to always turn on the fan after you are done.

How To Score Looking Like Barbie

Have you ever thought to yourself that your sex life would rapidly improve if you looked like Barbie? Have you ever wanted to know how it feels like to be admired by many for no reason at all? Barbie sure knows how it feels and she has a outstanding love life despite the fact that her husband Ken has no penis! So if you’re looking to rapidly change your adult dating life in an instant, you have come to the right place! Here are a few guidelines to help you become the best version of Barbie you can ever be!

Face: As we all know, Barbie is devoid of any flaws whatsoever. That’s why it’s important to always look your best. When you’re first becoming Barbie, make sure to constantly moisturize your face. You want to look as shiny and as plastic as she does. Trust me, this will not scare any suitors at all! Try hitting MAC and buying all of Barbie’s make up line. You want to focus on pink and blue eyeshadows and false eye lashes. Don’t be subtle either! Make your eyes pop! For a lasting effect, get makeup tattooed onto your face and while you’re at it, get some Botox done. Barbie gets things done without a blink of an eye and if you get botox, you can experience that too!

Body: Barbie has the body women purge themselves to get. You must maintain this by working out like a maniac. If you don’t have an hourglass figure, then you might as well be trying to look like Midge and give up now. Also, Barbie has remarkable breasts so if you don’t have C cup breasts, get a boob job! Make sure they are hard as rocks too. Guys like Ken LOVE that.

Clothes: Remember, you are the trendsetter everybody needs to look up to. That means you need to buy things nobody around you has and can’t afford. You also have to buy plastic neon-colored shoes to go with your outfits. Make sure to buy multiple pairs because you will always lose at least one shoe per pair in a matter of weeks. Get a bunch of credit cards and start shopping! Who cares if you don’t have enough money to eat, you’re Barbie! You don’t need to eat. All you need is to have fun and look good!

Hair: If you want to become Barbie, you need to go platinum blonde! You also need to get lots of synthetic hair extensions to match the length. Flip your hair back if you want to go retro or clip the front of your hair back in a bobby pin. The key thing to remember is that you want to make sure your hair style is relevant. If nobody is wearing your hairdo, then you don’t matter.

Kids: Ha! Trick question! If you want to become Barbie, you need to get your tubes tied immediately. Barbie is too busy to have kids and since Barbie and Ken don’t have genitals, they never have to worry about that becoming a possibility. However, you need to realize that having kids is a death sentence to Barbie. She’s all about having fun and looking good. If you’re desperate for kids, treat your kid sister like she’s your daughter like Barbie does to Skipper. Just make sure your Ken doesn’t pull a Woody Allen by trying to bang her. That would be un-BARBIE like.

So do you still want to be Barbie now?

Want A Better Sex Life? You Don't Have To Break Up To Get It

Sex is an essential part of every intimate relationship and without it, your relationship can suffer. Whether you’re just having a dry spell, or you’ve realized that you and your dating partner aren’t physically compatible, it’s no fun when the sex is bad. Should you suffer through subpar sex as long as everything else is okay? Believe it or not, if you’re willing to put in some effort on your own part, you may find you will have to do neither.

Does bad sex equal a break up? If the sex is bad and you’re not that compatible overall, then it makes sense to break up. If everything else in your relationship is good, you can’t let a bad sex life ruin things for you. If you’re not having sex at all, you should just flat out address the decision. Work with your mate to get back into the habit of having more sex. Tell them that you miss having it because you really enjoy it. But, don’t be pushy. The thing about sex is that the more you have it, the more you want it. Over a few weeks you should find yourself getting back into the swing of things.

Give your partner pointers: What if you are having sex, but it’s just terrible?The next time you’re doing the deed, playfully suggest that you try something new, act like it’s an adult fantasy of yours. Partners want to satisfy you, so they should be open to receiving a few gentle pointers when you’re in the heat of the moment. Be careful not to be critical of what they’re doing wrong. Just steer them away from whatever it is they’re doing bad. If subtle hints don’t work, you may want to sit down and have a serious discussion about it

Communication is the most important tool you have : When it comes to having better sex, communication is key. If you can handle things diplomatically, you will probably get the results you want. Keep the mood light and word things as kindly as possible. If there are positive things your partner does, point them out, Compliment them where you can and negative remarks wont seem as hurtful. If you both really care about each other, you will find a way to make it work.

What's Not Said

While good communication is key for two people trying to keep a relationship together, it’s not just what’s said between them that can be important to the romance. As people grow together there should be a certain telepathy to one another’s needs, hurts and triumphs that don’t have to be articulated; when one partner can sense the other having the obligatory bad day, when one person has the good sense to leave the other alone.

This unspoken understanding should exist in a couple’s

There are times when dirty talk fuels the bed time, others when silence is golden and still others when one partner lies open and vulnerable to the other, spewing all manner of admissions and promises. Then there are the times when one lay with their lover aching that their lover will read them enough, know the undulant movements and roll and shuck of hip, flush of genitals, hear a moan in such a specific way they will be taken further, their limits pushed, maybe a startling new kink introduced neither partner has discussed.

What makes sex sexy is not what we ask for or cajole our partner to try but that which they conclude on their own, that which comes whole-cloth from their head and loins, that which they have been entertaining that might very well gibe with what we have been wanting. An organic discovery of hopes and dreams, commonalities and sexual compatibility makes an adult dating relationship ever stronger.

Many couples find their explorations through watching porn together, others swing with couples who might introduce some sexual ideas-beyond swinging-to add a little spice into the bedroom, still other partners allow one another some off-time explorations, some moments of play at parties or play-spaces where they can at once keep an eye on one another and simultaneously be aroused at what they see their significant other get up to.

There are just as many people who take admissions of their sexual need as part of their sex play while still others cannot articulate what they need nor do they ever want to, preferring their kinks be found out or introduced by their significant other.

Communication can exist on many levels and take on so many varied forms; the main thing is though that lovers keep communicating.

How To Make Your Man Behave

When you are in an adult dating relationship with a fairly good-looking and charming man, it can be difficult to keep your tabs on him. However, if he does something small to break your trust such as caught texting other girls or being spotted having drinks with his ex, there are certain things a girl must do to keep him in line.

Now, if you can’t forgive him for the indiscretion, then to hell with him. Move on. However, if you want him back and want him behaved, you should follow this 10 day program in order to get the relationship you want.

Before you enter you enter the 10-day Rehabilitation Program, here are some rules to stay calm after catching your man doing no good.

a)Never Panic. Stay Cool. Act like it doesn’t bother you in the slightest and address the issue head on.

b)Never let your girlfriends know the entire situation. They’ll give you bad advice and ruin your confidence and as we know confidence is key.

Day One
Cardinal Rule # 1: DO NOT CALL OR TEXT HIM. Whoever calls first loses ground.
He will call unless he’s an idiot and in that case you don’t want him.

Discuss nothing over the phone. Be quick. Your job is just to listen.

When he wants to meet up, arrive 15 minutes late. Keep him waiting.

Listen to his excuse but don’t get suckered into falling for it. It doesn’t matter what excuse he gives you, he should have known better.

Break up with him before he breaks up with you!

Cardinal Rule # 2: When your man messes up, you have to punish him and punish him hard.

Day 2 and Three

Refrain from picking up your phone. Silence is golden. You can do more with silence than speaking.

Go to a place your man’s friends hang out at. Go over and talk to one of his friends. Don’t do anything slutty. Just be a little too friendly. Hug him too tight and give him kisses on the cheek. This will surely get back to your man and you will break his ego.

Ignore his phone calls.

Day Four

Today will be tricky. At this point, he most likely has gotten advice from his friends. Don’t talk to him. Be prepared for him to come over uninvited.

Day 5 and 6

Most likely, he has come over and transferred his negative emotions on to you. Don’t let him win. Kick him out and spend the next couple of days having friendly conversations with other suitors on Facebook walls. Because while you’re thinking about him, he’s not having a ball not thinking about you.

Day 7

Pay a visit to Victoria’s Secret.
Get your nails and hair done.
Take a long bubble bath.
Pull out the dress that hugs your curves in all the right places.

After you applied your makeup, go over to your man’s house. Your man has a sex cycle and most likely has to have sex at least once every seven days. That means you have to go over there a day before he’s thinking of sleeping with someone else. Your mission is to get into his house. Make up an excuse to bait him.

Before you know, he will be kissing you all over. Get him worked up and then leave him fully aroused.

You have successfully turned the tables.

Day 8
Stock up on groceries. Pick out a bottle of wine, because once you have made up with your man, you will probably be inside making up for the next few days.

If he’s a good man, he will be showing up at your door with his tail in between his legs.

Day 9 & 10

What happens in the bedroom…stays in the bedroom.

Good luck!

20 Facebook Profile Turn Offs

Facebook unfortunately plays such a big role in everybody’s adult dating lives these days. However, the fairer sex are more cutthroat when it comes to bad Facebook etiquette especially when it comes to inappropriate Facebook profile pictures. It’s okay when you are tagged, because you have no control of what is posted, but if you deliberately post an inappropriate picture as your profile photo, you are sending a clear message to the ladies who are interested in you. If you’re a guy and are currently guilty of posting profile photos that are described in the following list, take them off immediately if you ever want to get laid again.

1. Doing Shots

2. A Picture of You Passed Out in a Drunken Stupor.

3. Wearing a Bandanna. (2001 called, they want their look back.)

4. Wearing a T-shirt with the word “f*ck” on it.

5. Sporting massive sunburn. (Oompa Loompas aren’t hot.)

6. Standing in between two overly-tanned Go-Go girls at a club.

7. Wearing a fake mustache. (*If not for a party or an acting role.)

8. Fist pumping.

9. Holding a cigarette and a red plastic cup.

10. Flipping the Bird.

11. Picture of you chugging with a beer bong.

12. Wearing a Halloween costume months after October.

13. Posing at a Drake concert.

14. Not wearing a shirt. (No girl wants to date “The Situation.”)

15. Doing the international signal for “eating out” with your tongue and fingers.

16. Wearing a black shirt with a white crusty substance on it.

17. Wiping white crusty substance from your nose.

18. Wearing sunglasses at night or indoors. (You affected hipster, you!)

19. Using Breaking Bad stills as your picture.

20. Wearing guyliner.

30 Ridiculous Things You Shouldn't Say During Sex

There are always times when it’s perfectly acceptable to shut up and having sex is one of those times. Sure, dirty talk is great and all, but sometimes we tend to let our internal monologues get the better of us while we’re enjoying or enduring xxx action.

Here is a list of things that should NEVER be uttered while doing the horizontal mambo.

1. “Oh, that wasn’t a fart. I just queefed.”

2. “Sorry, I guess we can’t do it. I only have Magnum Condoms.”

3. “I’m so glad I took my Herpes medicine today.”

4. Oh my god, you totally look like my ex from that angle.”

5. “No, you’re way too huge to be on top. Let me.”

6. So, do you take cash or credit?

7. Can you move to the right? I can’t quite see what Snooki is doing on TV.”

8. “Say Cheese!”

9. “Can we just use saran wrap instead?”

10. Oh don’t worry. That brown gunk is just dried up period blood.”

11. “Don’t be so loud. My mother might hear you.”

12.” Uhh….” (*in response to “Say my name!”)

13. “Pass the batteries, please.”

14. ” Did my clock stop? The time hasn’t changed since we started and stopped.”

15. “So I guess you like the seventies, huh?”

16. “Hello? Oh hi! (pause) I’m not that busy, what’s up?” (In response to picking up the phone.)

17. “I have to take a shit.”

18. “I poked holes in the condom. I want a baby. Sorry.”

19. “The wet spot smells like cottage cheese.”

20. “Can you take out my tampon? I forgot it was in there.”

21. ” Is it hiding?”

22. ” Lubing it up is not going to make me want you more.”

23. “Oh my god, just get it over with already!”

24. “It’s in? Really? Can you just finger me instead?”

25. “Can we change positions? I did buy you dinner after all.”

26. “You smell like my mom.”

27. ” I want to hear you squeal like a pig.”

28. “You’re toight like a tiger.” (*Gold Member Impersonation)

29. Oh yeah, f*ck me! F*ck me! What you’re done?”

30. “My friends were right. You ARE awesome in bed.”

How To Not End Up Like J.Lo

Nobody’s sex life is as thrilling as Jennifer Lopez’s, mainly due to the fact that she has made so many adult dating mistakes in the past and now in the present.

She got married to a Cuban restaurant owner and divorced him to date a rapper. When he couldn’t help her career she moved on to a backup dancer. When he provided no drama to the table, she cheated on him and got engaged to superstar. When she realized Ben Affleck was untameable, she moved on to a talented yet sickly looking musician/actor and ended up trapped in a dead end relationship for many years. Now fresh from her separation, she says she’s ready for love again. Does this make any f*cking sense at all?

JDS (J.Lo Dating Syndrome) is a very serious problem and it affects many women every day. If you have this syndrome, you must give yourself the time to heal from your past relationship wounds before going back into the dating world. A woman suffering from JDS uses her relationships as a false way to heal a broken heart and this woman most likely has no idea what it takes to be in a real relationship and more importantly, what she really wants from one.

If you want to know how to avoid being another JDS statistic, here’s how:

1. Take the time to yourself and get used to your single life first.

2. Have a understanding of what loves means and looks to you. (Sex And The City is NOT your life.)

3. Examine what you need to do and let go of in order to meet the right person who will love you right.

8 Quick Ways to Relax Before a Big Date

So you haven't been out on a date in awhile and you're nervous that you'll do or say the wrong thing. Or perhaps your last date was such a disaster that it should have had a rating 5 on the weather channel. Getting nervous before a date is understandable...

Will they be attracted to you? Are you both on the same wavelength? Will you be able to control your mouth from saying something your brain knows is stupid?

Mistakes usually occur when stress levels are high. And lets face it dating is a stressful endeavor. The best thing you can do before a date is 'relax'. ­I know that is easier said than done but here are 8 easy ways to chill out before your dates arrives so that you actually have a good time on your date without any jittery mis-steps.

1. Meditate or if that sounds too mystical just close your eyes and focus on your breathing, feel it as it goes in and feel it go out. Can you feel it flow through your nostrils into your lungs? Does your stomach expand too? If it does then you know your breathing deeply and you'll get the most benefit from the activity. See if you can focus on the pause between breaths and that between an inhale and an exhale. Do it for 5 minutes or do it for 20 - the length is not as important as your focus during this time.

2. Sing. Really loudly. Obviously this isn't going to work in an office but it's great in the car, especially at night if you're worried about other people looking at you oddly.

3. Stretch. Try standing with your feet hip width apart and then take a deep breath, rise up onto your toes and reach up to the ceiling with your fingertips. Hold for as long as you can. And then slowly release your breath, your arms and finally put your heels back on the ground.

4. Go for a walk even if it's just around the office or your living room. Or you could walk to the mailbox or do 6 star jumps or put on some dancing music. Anything to get your body moving and those endorphins flowing.

5. Give yourself a quick massage - your feet or hands are good places to start for a quick treat. Keep some hand cream or body lotion at your desk or in your bedside table and you'll always be ready to treat yourself. And take your time - after all YOU know the bits you like.

6. Connect with your inner child - Do a handstand or a cartwheel - this isn't going to work indoors but if you're wearing trousers there's no reason why you can't do it in the park on your way to meet your date. And while you're there have a go on the slide too (not a good option if you're wearing white and its probably a good idea to make sure the ramp is clean before you slide).

7. Go somewhere private and be as unbelievably angry as you possibly can and try to stay angry - you'll find that 9 times out of 10 you won't be able to sustain it. The idea is not to get all worked up and then go and spray your anger at your date. It's about getting it all out and then dealing with whatever situation needs addressing. In order to do this you need to make sure that you don't leave your private space until you feel like your anger has all gone. We hear so much about anger management when it's not really about managing it, but rather letting it out. Just remember the golden rule: it’s OK to get angry but it’s not OK to take it out on someone or something else.

8. Read fiction - almost everyone agrees that fiction is a wonderful escape from the day to day. There's nothing quite like stepping out of your own life and into the lives of the characters in a good story. And a good short story is just the thing for a 15 minute chill out session.

Hope these tips work for you on your next date. You might even find you enjoy it!

Online Dating Lessons

As adults, the dating world can be such a challenge. This is especially true if you have come out of a long-term relationship and have not been in "the game" for quite a while.

There are many traps out there that you need to avoid. Avoiding the traps is an "inner game." This is done by paying attention to your own thinking and emotions and being honest with your self about what you are thinking and feeling.

Here are three of the most common traps, the signs and symptoms, and most importantly, what to do instead.

The Fairy Tale Trap

Remember all the fairy tales we heard and read as children? While most of them had good moral lessons to teach, they were still fairy tales.

Yet we handle so many of our relationships, especially love relationships, as if we believe the fairy tales are real.

We expect our perfect ideal partner to just magically show up someday, without any effort on our part.

Here is how I hear it expressed by many of the singles whom I coach:

"One day I just looked across the room, our eyes met, and I just knew he/she was the one!"

Well, maybe yes and maybe no.

Either way, after the glow of the "newness" of the relationship wears off, you still have to learn to live with another person - messy at it's best.

I see so many people get hurt this way.

Solution: You just have to take responsibility for your own relationship choice and take an active role in finding a good match for your self.

Don't just react to the people that choose you, as in "I'll like this person because they like me." Interview a lot of people for the position of your partner.

The Rescue Trap

So may singles get caught in this one. They believe that if they can just meet the right person, then all of their emotional, financial, and other problems with living will be solved right away. It's a trap, for one reason, because that is way too much pressure to put on anyone. In addition, this convinces you that you have very little power to affect your own life. This one leaves you feeling desperate and needy. When problems multiply instead of disappear, the relationship is likely to fail.

Solution: First of all, there is a proverb that says, "Without a vision, the people perish." I believe this is true for relationships as well.

What is your vision for your relationship? One way to get started on your vision is to ask the question: "If I could write the screenplay, what would it look like?" Know that your relationship will not exactly match the screenplay. Too may times we look for a custom tailored perfect fit in an off-the-rack world. This is just a question to get you started on creating your relationship vision.

The second thing you need to do is resolve your personal, emotional, financial and other life problems before you commit to a long-term relationship. You then stand a much great chance of relationship success.

Date-To-Mate Trap

Ever try to put a round peg in a square hole? This is one of the dangers of the date-to-mate trap. If you go out into the dating world with the goal that you must find a long-term relationship or even marriage, you set yourself up for trying to make something fit that does not, cannot, and will not fit.

I had a coaching client once who entered into a marriage relationship knowing he wanted children and knowing that she was ambivalent at best about having children. The outcome is predictable, is it not? The couple eventually divorced over this issue.

Having children was a requirement for this person. A requirement is something you must have, and is non-negotiable. In this example, you cannot have half a child.

Solution: Be very careful of becoming an instant couple, especially just to be with someone. Know what your requirements are in a long-term relationship, and settle for nothing less. Taking this position scares many of the singles I coach because they believe it greatly reduces the number of available partners. While this is true, remember, it only takes one.

Date a bunch of different people without the pressure of the date-to-mate trap. This solution greatly increases your chances of finding the one.

Top 10 Online Dating Mistakes

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How to Use Online Personals to Get Women Into Bed

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Secrets for Writing the Perfect Online Dating Profile

In real life a personal ad — or its online dating equivalent, the personal profile — can be a terrific tool to endear the right person to you. 'The personal ad route can be a good idea because it gives you the opportunity to meet people outside of your little circle of friends and co-workers,' says Toni Coleman, a psychotherapist and relationship coach in McLean, Va.

But the way you write a personal profile matters: it could mean the difference, in fact, between hooking the love of your life and falling flat.

There's Something About Your Ad ...

Follow these six simple rules to pique a would-be partner's interest.

Talk yourself up ... but stay sincere. What's great that you have to give? How would your best friend sum up the qualities that make you unique? Strut your stuff, Coleman encourages, in a way that's 'upbeat, but not fake.'

Keep the style fun, not formal. 'If you have fun writing it, the reader will likely have fun reading it,' says author Evan Marc Katz in I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating (Ten Speed Press, 2003). In writing about who you are — as well as about what characteristics you're looking for — write the way you talk, in a creative way that will win people over. A better way to go than 'I'm lots of fun,' according to Katz: 'Karaoke? Rock climbing? Strip poker? Road trip to Vegas? Go on, dare me. I'll do it.' Stories — of a recent funny experience, for example — can captivate people in a way that generic descriptions never will.

Choose words carefully to express what you really want. 'In search of: a wealthy man' might come across as 'gold digger,' and searching for a stunning woman can seem superficial. Are you actually looking for a partner who's ambitious or fit? That's not as likely to offend.

Include a picture that's flattering, but true to you. Find a recent photo to submit, or have one taken. Pick a pic that shows your playful side, or has you hanging out with family or friends, Katz recommends, warning that 'photoless folk will hardly be contacted by anyone.' In your pictures, as in your words, represent yourself honestly, says relationship coach Coleman. 'People will find out the truth soon enough.'

Read over what you're about to submit. Avoid seeming sloppy; review your writing so it's grammatically correct and typo-free.

Keep It Positive: No Problems, Please

The things you leave out of a personal profile are as important as what you put in — no 'my last relationship left me broken-hearted' or 'I detest my job.' And leave out personal information, for security's sake.

With these ins and outs to go by, personal ads can help you date less duds and zero in on the people who show some potential — whether what you like is golf, baseball and beer, or more along the lines of opera and fine cuisine.

Good and Bad Adult Dating Profile Samples

Profiles listed on this page were taken from various online dating sites, and were posted by actual real people looking to meet others. Read through them and use them as inspiration to write your own personal ad.

Examples of Good Ads

1) If I like you...Can I keep you?
I am secure & happy with myself, but...Life is meant for 2!! A little bit about myself: I enjoy travel, camping by a lake, gardening, home decorating, Comedy Clubs & Dinner Theater, music, my dog, & celebrating special occasions. I am self-sufficient, independent, honest, I have a great sense of humor, & family & friends are very important to me. A man who ONLY has eyes for me & can make me laugh are important qualities! No Pressure! Let's just relax...become friends & get to know each other... and see what happens.
( The headline is very inviting - makes you want to click on it. )

2) Lost Smile---Reward For Recovery
I'm putting out a world wide web bulletin to get everyone's help. You see, I've lost my smile. I'm not really myself without it. I have a couple leads that give me hope that it may have been found, including a vague description. She appears to be between 26 and 40 years old, but may appear younger than her age. She at least 5'7' (I am 6'), not a bbw, but doesn't live at the gym either. She has high-maintenance looks with a down-to-earth attitude, values, and personality. She loves rock & roll and may be found at concerts. I have conflicting reports that she's either a blonde or a brunette. She's intelligent with her own career and not dependent on someone to support her. If this person can be found, I can offer a reward of lifetime devotion, long, slow kisses that last for days, midnight massages, a partner that loves to cook and doesn't mind sharing in the household chores, someone to wash your back, a shoulder to lean on, and someone who will hold you at night. If you think you may have found my smile, please e-mail me as I really need it to be myself. Thanks.
( Original, appealing and very well thought out.)

3) 'Spark Plug'
When people are sometimes asked to describe me, the term 'spark plug' is often used. I know how to speak my mind and get what I want, but I do so with a smile. I've been known to assess first impressions quickly (both personally and professionally) and generally do not waiver from my initial conclusion. I'm considered a very generous person in all aspects of my life especially in friendship, family and love. I've been told that I'm smart, beautiful and sensitive, although I also tend to be a bit modest too. I'm looking for a man who shares my views on love, family and friends and is ready for all of it to begin with me.
( This person added enough personal details about herself to give a potential responders a real sense of who she is.)



Bad Personal Ads
by Barb Marcano

Creative, well thought out personal ads get attention! Ones that are poorly written get ignored - that's a FACT! Below you'll see a few ads that are barely worth reading, and definitely not worth your time responding to. JUST REMEMBER! If you're going to take the time to post an ad, you want to write one that gets results.

Examples of Bad Ads

1) Hey SeXXXy!!!!!!
I am 22, I go to college in London Ontario for Marketing and I live in Stratford. I love hockey, going to the bars with the guys and playing pool. Not really sure what else to say so I will leave it at that :)
( Sounds like a real winner. Watch out girls, I saw him first! )

2) Nice guy looking for a nice girl
I a genuinely open and friendly guy, hard to come by these days. I like to spend time around friends, and always love to meet new people. I like to keep myself busy, can't stand sitting around doing nothing.
( Not exactly bad, but much too vague, didn't really give you much to go on )

3) FREAK! Or someone like that...me I guess. COME ON! LOOK HERE!!!
Snuggly guy, 6'2', 165 lbs. Just moved to Vancouver, looking for friends and people to show me around the city. Is that you? Are you sure? I am pretty weird...ok then. :)
( I'm sure he's a really nice guy - but would you want to take the chance? )

4) MALE 25 YRS SINGLE
I AM A VERY STRAIGHT PERSON .UNMARRIED & LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO GET MARRIED WITH.THATS ALL WHAT I CAN SAY RIGHT NOW.FOR ME IT HARDLY MATTERS IF U R A DIVORCEE ALSO.
( BORING - poorly written, lacks details and the use of all CAPS makes it hard to read.)

5) 'Cacktas The Sign of Loyality'
I am Farooq i have only one frend name is AYAZ and he say about me that farooq is a gentleman person hardworking faothfull good looking and and and..................... and wot i am in my point of view i like treveling i want to go all over the world mmmmmm like music of shehzad i am very much bus kafee zayada tareeef achee nahi haotee...............!
( A very good example why it's so important to check and double check your spelling.)

How To Create Powerful Personal (Part-2)

3. - Don't rush into things,

unless that's exactly what the two of you are looking for. Hey, we're adults here; some people, male and female, or just looking to get together for a bit of fun now and again. If both of you are fine with that, no problem there. One thing we deeply recommend you remember though is that you don't really know if you want this person until you meet them.

This writer once began writing emails to a woman who, in all honesty, seemed to be just what he had always been looking for: very intelligent, funny, sexually adventurous, with a pretty face, flowing dark hair, and a frankly killer body. She was even bisexual it turned out - and willing to eventually bring a friend into the bedroom for some very hot times. In other words, it seemed a virtual hit of the jackpot.

And, as those amazing emails turned into equally amazing (and steamy) two-hour daily phone calls, it seemed more and more certain that this was the most amazing thing to happen to either of us by simple emails. The calls correctly gave each person a great deal of confidence that this was bound to be the start of something beyond anything we'd thought we'd find . . .

But after a few hours of spending time with this woman on a planned weekend-long vacation and sexual romp (which was also our very first face-to-face meeting), all this writer could think of was how he could get out of the arrangement and away from this woman. Why? Because he'd found that this seemingly fascinating creature on the phone and in emails was the most pretentious windbag he'd ever met in the flesh, without a single real thought of her own.

She was as physically attractive as her pics made her out to be, but that's about the only thing that didn't seem totally different about her in an actual meeting. To be fair though, the writer disappointed her in much the same way. She didn't really lie about herself; neither did the writer lie to her. It merely seemed that aspects of our personalities that had frankly been impossible to discern by emails and a few phone calls made themselves apparent in prolonged face-to-face contact. Our 'incredible romance' never really lasted the weekend. Therefore the only way to truly get to know someone is still the old-fashioned 'face-to-face' meeting, there's no getting around it. Had this writer's failed romance proceeded slower, to where each person could have gotten use to the unfamiliar 'body language' of the other, and began understanding the other more as a complete person, it probably would have ended quite differently. This writer has never made that same mistake again.

So even if you're looking for a simple 'hook-up', make sure you go through a ritual of writing a few emails, then making a few calls to get to know the person a bit better, then having a meeting without the unnecessary pressure that anything must happen that evening. It's always understood that the first meeting is a means to get acquainted, that's all it must necessarily mean. If something does happens later on that night . . . that's something else, and a very pleasant surprise to boot. But real compatibility - sexual or otherwise - is a stubborn thing; it only really shows itself completely in face-to-face meetings. Keep that in mind.

If you're looking for something substantial, be especially cautious. Again, while most women are essentially the same in person as they are in the letters and on the phone, there's always a chance that she may prove to someone be quite different - trust us. If you think this is something that you might want to last a awhile, give it time to grow before you jump in and decide this is what you want.

4. - Insist on talking over the phone before you meet;

we can't stress that enough. Online chats and erotic e-mails are only a means to start some good communication, nothing more. The truth is that anyone can be writing those words. You have to give and get phone numbers and really talk to that person before you even decide if you want to continue this thing beyond the written word. Too many times people have come to want the writer of certain emails, only to discover that she is really a he, or that her 'two years older than you' is actually twenty. A phone call is the best next step, a necessary means to break the ice even further and to help you really get to know the person before you spend a few thousand going to meet them in some far-off place. You'll know she's really interested when she starts calling you, too.

After all, it takes a lot more time and thoughtfulness (and money) to spend a half-hour or so talking on the phone than it does to write a few lines to someone most of the time, however clever those lines may be. Besides, if you become interested in this woman, it's an interesting way of check on your new girl; if a man answers the phone and announces that he's her boyfriend or her husband, you might want to forget about those plane tickets and save yourself a little fortune (and a bit of heartache) in the bargain. Fine, you may be saying to yourself, but I still feel funny getting in touch with women this way. How do I know if I'm going to say something that will at least get her attention? Believe it or not, one of the best ways is to concentrate on the form your email takes, as much as the content.

Remember, most female minds are geared toward the spatial, verbal forms of thinking and perceiving; it's why they feel the need to talk at length when they're troubled by something, as opposed to the male mind, which is more sequential and mathematical (we'll let the reader decide whether that means men are more reasonable ;-)) . She will take notice of how something is being said, almost as much as what is being said in the email itself. In fact, the structure of your message, or 'post,' is vital to getting your point across - not to mention getting it read at all.

Dating Preparation: Give Yourself a Makeover

Getting a makeover is about giving the outer and the inner self an overhaul.

1. LIKE YOURSELF
This is vitally important. You can't even begin your makeover until you like yourself.

2. BE POSITIVE
Have a positive attitude. Make sure you say positive things even if you aren't thinking them. Pay particular attention to self-talk - Take note of what you say to yourself and change it. If you are consistently saying 'I am not good enough' then you won't be good enough.

3. LEARN HOW TO HANDLE REJECTION PROPERLY
Rejection is a part of dating and it happens to everyone. The key is not to take rejection personally. Remember, it often has nothing to do with you.

4. BE CONFIDENT AND SMILE
Act confident and smile even when you don't feel like it. If you put on a confident front it can help you feel confident on the inside and when you feel confident on the inside it is obvious on the outside.

5. WORK ON YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Tips:

Speak clearly, loudly and confidently

Look the person you are speaking to in the eye

Say your point succinctly

Be enthusiastic

Practise active listening (see below)

6. PRACTISE ACTIVE LISTENING
In a conversation one of the most important things people need is to be heard. Be interested in people, listen to what they are saying and ask questions about it.

7. PRACTISE GOOD POSTURE
Stand up straight with your shoulders back. Never slump.

8. CONSIDER GROOMING AND CLEANLINESS
When it comes to a makeover clean and tidy works. Pay attention to the details like clean fingernails and getting rid of unwanted body hair.

9. GO FOR A NEW LOOK
Consider a change of style, including a new hairstyle/colour and new outfits.

IMPORTANT: Do your research. Ask at least five friends for their opinions. Look at what other people are wearing out on the street. Notice what you are impressed with or attracted to.

Find something modern that suits you and you feel comfortable in.

Colours are important - some colours suit you more than others. Find out which colours work best.

Don't forget shoes!

10. WORK ON YOUR SELF
Think about the way you live your life, and deal with your issues. If you have a fear of commitment, work on getting rid of that fear. If you get angry and defensive easily, work out why then change it.

How to Be Approachable to Women in Bars & Nightclubs

“Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the confidence or take the risks. Yet most people don’t. They sit in front of the T.V. and treat life as if it goes on forever” – Philip Andrew Adams

I noticed two interesting things happening last night when I was out at a club in Hollywood to see a friend’s band:

1) Most of the men were completely stony faced
2) The very smooth moves of the guy who ended up getting my phone number Changing Your Public Face I don’t think most men have any idea of how foreboding they can look to women. Most of the men I saw last night could have frozen water with their faces. I know I’ve said it before, but it’s a very important point since scientists have found that most flirtations are actually set up by women – even though the men aren’t usually aware that it’s happening.

The mask most men put on to go out in public is one of “don’t mess with me” and women follow suit. We don’t mess with you. Unless you’re Chad Michael Murray or Jude Law gorgeous we don’t give you another look, and our gaze moves on to men who look more approachable. As the night wears on, unless alcohol loosens you up and makes you friendlier, you become more and more upset over not meeting any of the cute girls you’ve been sneaking glances at, and your face gets all the stonier. Women take you for being an angry pissed off sort and keep away, and by the end of the evening you are just that.

A face that keeps others away is important while riding the subway through a dangerous neighborhood, but it’s not the right one if you want to be meeting women. The next time you’re out at a club or bar notice the expressions and mannerisms of most male bartenders. They’re busy, but approachable. They engage women, but don’t cling to them because they’ve got too much going on. It’s a great act to follow.

Many of us, myself included, have naturally serious faces. It’s important to recognize this, because even if you’re not putting up a front when you go out, unless you make a serious effort to look approachable you won’t seem to be. This doesn’t mean you have to be a totally goof ball trying to entertain strangers, but it does mean you need to do things that make you appear approachable. I recommend you try the following;

1) When possible, go out with a friend who gets you out of your shell and talking. When women see men out enjoying themselves with a friend or two they find them more approachable. This, however, changes when it becomes a large group of men who have their own party going on.

2) Sit at the bar, when possible, instead of standing against a wall. Engage the people around you in small talk from time to time to show that you’re approachable and social.

3) If the place is packed don’t stay in one spot too long. Chances are you won’t see someone you like just from one spot, nor will she see you. If you do see someone you like you don’t want to be stuck in one place where you’ll constantly be glancing at her. Don’t, however, walk the club like a caged panther looking for an escape.

Meeting Women in Seven Easy Steps

Okay, so yes, I did give a guy my number last night. I’m going to share exactly how he pulled it off, because it was pretty smooth:

1) First off, he was with a few friends who were sitting on a couch, while I was sitting at the bar. I first noticed them because they seemed to be enjoying themselves while so many other men in the club looked pretty angry or bored.

2) Secondly, the first time he spoke to me he just asked if I knew the band currently playing. I admitted I didn’t, and then he asked who I was there to see. It was clever way to approach me because there was no way I could give a bitchy response unless I was an absolute bitch.

3) When the band he was there to see came on he approached again and asked what I thought of them. Fortunately for him they were really good. This gave us something to chat about a bit. He introduced himself and then went back to his friends.

4) After my girlfriend arrived he came up again and asked if we’d each like a drink. That was very cool, very chivalrous. I knew he was angling to talk more to me but I like that he included my friend. It’s easy to do because she’s very attractive and charming, but that shouldn’t stop you from including the friend of the woman you’re attracted to. It’s easy to let the one you’re really interested in know, hold her eye contact longer, and touch her on the arm or shoulder when talking to her.

5) He watched the band I’d come to see with us and gave them generous compliments. I know some men think that being “cocky and contrary” interests and excites women but it only turns me off. I’m looking for someone I have common interests with to enjoy my free time, not someone I have to debate.

6) He never stayed with us for more than fifteen minutes or more at a time and then he would go back to his friends, which showed they mattered to him. Towards the end of the evening when the bar had space he brought his friend up and introduced him, which showed nice manners.

7) He asked me if I’d like to go to a movie sometime rather than just asking for my number. I like a man with a plan. Let a woman know you’d like to take her out rather than just banter with her on the phone.

Dating Web Sites Now Trying to Prevent Divorce

In 1995, Matt Frassica, tired of singles bars and set-ups by friends, tried his hand at dating online. There he met, and later married, a woman who also liked long walks in the rain and homemade lasagna. They were even featured in People magazine as a prototype of successful cyber-romance. Then the fairy tale ended. Mr. Frassica said he realized he was gay, and the divorce was official last year."We avoided getting to know the real person," says the 34-year-old corporate recruiter in San Francisco. "All we knew was the profiles of each other." (His ex-wife confirms that.)

More than a decade after the Internet revolutionized dating -- about two million Americans met their spouses online, by one measure -- the sites face a new challenge: keeping these couples together. While most sites started out focusing on dating, they are increasingly using their success in the marriage arena as a marketing tool -- making the stakes higher if these unions start to go south.

While many happily married couples say they may never have found a mate offline, there are already indications that meeting a spouse on the Web comes with its own set of potential pitfalls. Some divorce cases, for example, highlight false claims made in the online profiles that led to the initial attraction. In addition, of course, there are the natural perils that can come with getting to know a person virtually instead of the old-fashioned way.

Now, sites are stepping up their efforts to ensure that matches last. EHarmony.com is opening a new "relationship lab" this summer where some couples who met through the site will be monitored for at least five years to see how the marriages fare. In an initiative dubbed "Project Moses" internally, JDate.com, a Jewish singles site, is contracting a dating coach to train customer-service representatives in relationship counseling for couples who call in. True.com pitches a compatibility test (patent pending) that it says follows standards set by the American Psychological Association; one aim is to reduce divorce.

The emphasis on marriage and marriage sustenance is what these sites say they need to do to continue to expand their business. After double- and triple-digit growth in some recent years, spending on online dating rose by just 7 percent last year, according to a report by the Online Publishers Association, a trade group. The report shows that for the first time since 2002, music and video downloads surpassed online dating as a top revenue-maker on the Web. (Adult entertainment probably trumps them all, according to some market researchers, though figures are difficult to track.) A recent survey by Jupiter Research says serious daters -- those seeking long-term commitments -- are 63 percent more likely to pay for online dating than other daters. Such statistics are one reason the sites are taking pains to demonstrate successful track records at the altar.

The quest by dating Web sites to keep passion alive is all the more urgent because demographic statistics would suggest that the first wave of divorces among online daters is just now beginning. The median length of a first marriage that ends in divorce is eight years, according to a Census Bureau survey released last year. Online dating took off in 1995, with Match.com celebrating its 150th wedding two years later. By 2002, this style of dating had become firmly entrenched in the cultural mainstream.

Touting marriage results is now a major part of many sites' business strategies. Match boasts "twice as many marriages as any other site in the world" on its home page, a claim based on last year's survey of 4,800 people on Weddingchannel.com, a Los Angeles-based online-registry and wedding-planning service. Yahoo Personals has a special section devoted to success stories, while eHarmony festoons the hallways of its Pasadena, Calif., headquarters with photos of couples at their wed dings, including one with "eHarmony" in icing on a computer-shaped cake.

Though there is no statistical evidence that the break-up rate among online daters is any different from the national average, some divorce lawyers point to anecdotal evidence. Eric Spevak, a New Jersey divorce lawyer, says that as many as one in five of his clients now comes from marriages that started on the Internet. "There's no consequences online -- people can promise you anything, so engagements are shorter and people are rushing in," says Mr. Spevak.

New York divorce lawyer Raoul Felder says he is also seeing more Internet daters splitting up in his practice: "It's usually a relationship based on fantasy or desperation, which doesn't bode well."

False claims on online dating profiles are showing up in court as lawyers use the early dating profiles -- with their fibs about wealth and status -- for character attacks later. Robert Hoover, a lawyer in San Jose, Calif., says he was able to wrest child custody from his client's ex-wife based partly on allegations that she had used her younger sister's photograph in her dating profile to trick men, including her future husband, into emailing her. "If she'd misrepresented herself in that regard, maybe she misrepresents herself in the area of custody," says Mr. Hoover. "That was just brought up to attack her credibility."

Marriage counselors and divorce attorneys say they are often struck by how much of what brings people together online ultimately contributes to the undoing of the relationship.

One of the hallmarks of online dating, for example, is the quick intimacy driven by heartfelt profiles that can go on for pages and reveal everything from a person's favorite food to a weakness for tattoos. Focusing on these attributes, some psychologists say, makes potential suitors more likely to overlook someone's downsides. A 2004 Match study said 11 percent of its married couples were "in love prior to ever meeting face-to-face."

Online courtships also take place initially via email, a notably misleading way of communicating that doesn't take into account tone of voice or facial expressions. And experts say online daters as a group tend to be more interested in marriage and therefore more inclined to jump the gun.

It took Carolyn Fellwock and Charlie Watson only 11 months to tie the knot after meeting on Yahoo Personals -- and three years more to call it quits. The couple's shared appreciation for movie nights and homemade Irish stew turned out to be no match for their bickering over how to discipline their kids from previous marriages or the best way to spend the family savings.

"I can't believe it's over," Ms. Watson now says. "I really did think I'd found a soul mate."

A string of failed relationships can mean more subscriptions for an online dating site, of course, but many companies say they are more interested in building a brand name based on success. With several sites mulling plans to branch into services for other family issues, from child-rearing to troublesome in-laws, companies call a good marriage the foundation for customer loyalty. "If they appear to be happy in their marriage for the first couple of years but it doesn't last, that doesn't do anything for us," says Ron Worthy, product manager for member revenue at BlackPlanet Love, an African American singles site. "We want to build families."

For those relationships that do fail, dating sites have some built-in protections, primarily in the form of waivers members must agree to with the click of a mouse. Match, in language similar to that of other sites, declares itself not liable "for any damages whatsoever" from emotional distress to bodily injury. Sites with personality tests and quasi-counseling also include waivers saying such services are no substitute for professional help.

Match already has some publicity h eadaches stemming from a recent lawsuit over "date bait" -- flirtatious emails from phony daters to keep subscribers coming back. Yahoo Personals also is being sued for allegedly posting false profiles. Both companies have denied those claims as fraudulent and are fighting the lawsuits, which seek class-action status.

Anna Murray, a 39-year-old New York technology executive, knows the pitfalls of online dating. Her solution: She ran her Match suitors by her therapist."She'd read between the lines as only a good personality profiler can do," says Ms. Murray, now married. When presented with her future husband's profile, she recalls, her therapist delivered the verdict: "She said, 'He's not a creep.' "

While some sites track their marriage rate closely -- eHarmony says 16,500 of its clients tied the knot in the year ending August 2005 -- others say it's too hard to track accurately. According to the Pew Internet & American Life Project, a nonprofit research org anization, an estimated two million married Internet users in America met their spouses online -- that is about half the total number of people who married last year.

To maintain its success rate, eHarmony says it has rejected 1.4 million applicants it deems not marriage material -- they are struggling with addiction, for example, or have more than three failed marriages under their belt. Through its relationship lab, the company hopes even unhappy couples can help the cause of lasting matches; by noticing patterns in failed couplings, eHarmony can tweak its "compatibility matching system" to fix the problem. For example, founder and chairman Neil Clark Warren says he has noticed grieving widows and widowers tend to move too quickly in rebound relationships, creating tensions down the road. "We have an enormous interest in all these couples," says Dr. Warren.