Most People Admit To Masturbation

We have all heard over the years that masturbation is healthy for one’s lifestyle and that we should omit all of the facts surrounding masturbation that are negative because research shows that it is nothing but good for a person’s life. And when I say this, I mean in moderation of course.

A new survey indicates that 86% of US adults say that they indulge in chocking the old chicken or brushing the beaver and they aren’t afraid to admit it!

The survey that was commissioned by Adam & Eve, a retailer of xxx adult products, indicates that 18 percent of adults say that they masturbate one to three times per month, 17 percent say they rarely self satisfy, and 14 percent say they never participate in the act. I say they’re lying!

“Masturbation is a healthy sexual outlet,” a sex and sexual relationship expert, Dr. Kat Van Kirk said in a statement.

And it’s not only doctors that now know these facts. Even my grandma has told me that it’s okay to play with yourself once in a while. She says that she doesn’t want me to think of my body as some sort of amusement park however. Just a place to go when I’m feeling horny.

“Research shows it can help individuals cope with stress, improve the immune system and it enhances partners sex. Masturbation is a great for of preventative medicine.”

This research was all the by product of the Great American Sex survey which studies more than 1,000 US adults and it was conducted by a third party survey company.

Legitimate research or not, we all know that masturbation is good for you because it makes us feel good, it helps us sleep, it explores a xxx fantasy and it relieves tension. And to be able to do that without putting any sort of outside chemicals in your body sounds pretty good to me.

The Sexiest Interracial Couples in Hollywood

Thankfully in today’s adult dating world, singles and couples are now more open to dating outside of their race and it’s definitely apparent in Hollywood these days. Some of the hottest celebrities in Tinseltown are getting their “swirl” on and I couldn’t be more happy to promote their loving relationships on this blog.

Check out my top ten list of the hottest mixed couples showing off their love on and off the red carpet.

10. Chris Noth and Tara Wilson

Every woman’s television dream man Chris “Mr.Big” Noth has been living happily with his hot Canadian actress wife who happens to be half Asian and half African-American for a few years now. They even have a baby together. It’s nice to see the actor doesn’t share the same commitment issues his character had on Sex And The City.

9. Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel

These two love birds met when they both starred in Rent over a decade ago. Despite the very open death threats they had a few years ago, Taye and Idina have proven that love really does conquer on in their relationship.

8. Justin and Keisha Chambers

You wouldn’t know it by looking at them, but this couple have been together for over 20 years now. With 5 kids and a loving relationship, this couple proves that relationships in Hollywood can last a lifetime.

7. Eliza Dushku and Rick Fox

I know a lot of us were hopeful that the former basketball player would reunite with Desperate Housewives’ Vanessa Williams, however Eliza Dushku was smart enough to swoop this once unfaithful player off his feet. The kinship seems random, but it works.

6. Halle Berry and Oliver Martinez

Halle Berry has once again done the impossible and sought out another rebound boyfriend hotter than her last. Oliver Martinez and her met on the set of their up coming thriller, Dark Tide. However, it’s only a matter of time before Halle Berry goes nuts on this one too. Just you wait.

5. Iman and David Bowie

This long lasting ruse couple were probably known up until now as the most powerful interracial couple in Hollywood. They have been together for the longest time and hopefully they will continue to flourish as well as their careers have.

4. Heidi Klum and Seal

The fact that Seal and Heidi fell in love while she pregnant with another man’s baby, shows how strong their connection is. They have a beautiful blended family and have the energy (and money) to get married to each other over and over every year.

3. Paula Patton and Robin Thicke

Paula Patton and Robin Thicke have been high school sweethearts and both are getting more and more famous in their acting and singing careers. Truly one of the most beautiful couples in Hollywood today.

2. Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonet

Who knew that Conan the Barbarian and Denise Huxtable could make such a compatible couple, but they do. They both have two children together out of wedlock and their love seems to be growing and growing each day.

1. Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker

Actors Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker are probably two of the most beautiful people on this planet, let alone in Hollywood. Both are biracial and both have two beautiful children. If only we could be so lucky to have their genes. *Sigh*

Who is your favorite interracial celebrity couple?

Generic Break Up Lies That Deserve The Middle Finger

There comes a point in everybody’s adult dating lives when they have heard every generic break up cliche in the book. There also comes a point where everybody should snap and point out these statements for what they really are: COWARDLY LIES. Here are a few break up lies we should all give the middle finger to.

“It’s Not You, It’s Me”

Really? Even toddlers know this is a bullsh*t lie. Of course, it’s me, asshole! Just call it for what is really is. You want out out of this relationship and I don’t. Was that really that hard?

“There’s Plenty Of Fish In The Sea.”

I hate when friends say this to you. It’s like they assume you have no concept of the fact that this world is full of millions of people walking the Earth. I know there are plenty of “fish” to choose from, Jackass!

“I Need To Focus On My Career Right Now.”

This one really cracks me up. It’s kind of like the excuse kids give their parents when they’re trying to avoid doing the chores around the house. “But Mom, I really need to focus on my homework!” What they really mean to say is that they see maintaining this relationship as a tedious chore. Funny how they have no qualms about neglecting their “careers” when trying to get you in bed.

“It’s Their Loss.”

Really? Because I thought I was the one that was dumped? Isn’t it MY loss? I hate when friends say this to you. It’s like they are trying to make you think the person who dumped you is upset that they let you go. Why would they purposely LOSE something they really wanted. *Sigh*

“I love You, But I’m Not In Love With You.”

What they really mean to say is that, “I was attracted to you for a while. However, I just realized how much hotter my now single ex is than you.”

“You’re Too Good For Me.”

This one always makes me laugh when I hear it. Bad boys are prone to saying this phrase to all their conquest. Relationships are not full-time jobs. You shouldn’t be “over qualified” to be loved by someone.

“Can We Just Be Friends?”

When someone says this to you, what they really mean is: “I don’t want to date you anymore, but I have no problem having sex with you from time to time.”

The next time you hear any of these phrases, give the person the middle finger. If someone can’t even say the truth about how they feel or don’t feel about you, then they are better out of your life anyway.

Does Female Sexuality Make Men Want to go to war?

There’s a weird study out of China on the male drive to do the

Basically, they took a bunch of men and women and showed them pictures and asked them questions. They showed some of the men photos of attractive women, and some of the men photos of unattractive women, and then they had them answer questions about war. The men who had viewed photos of attractive women answered more militantly than those who hadn’t. The women in the study answered questions about war more peacefully overall than either group of the men.

In a related study, they split a group of men in two and showed half of them photos of women’s legs and half photos of national flags. They then had them do word association with words about war or farms. The men who had seen the legs responded to the war words way faster

So, the researchers decided this study obviously proved that some men are motivated to go to war by sex. (War – just like adult dating!) I’m not so sure, although I see there seems to be some correlation. What I see out of this study is not so much that men would be motivated to go to war by this, but that when confronted with a sexual conquest, they look at it just that way – a conquest. It’s a competition, a battle with other men for the prize; maybe some men do translate this into a desire to go to real war, but I don’t think this study necessarily proves it. It simply raises some interesting questions about how societies frame sexual competition and

When She Says 'Let's Just Be Friends'

Sooner or later we’ve all heard it. Yep, I’m talking about the dreaded “Let’s Just Be Friends” speech from a woman we’re dying to be oh-so-much-more with. There are no ifs-ands-or-buts about it. It sucks. But it doesn’t have to be the nail in the coffin. There is life after the “Let’s Be Friends” speech, there will be opportunities to turn things around, but you have to handle things very carefully. Here’s what not to do:

Beg her to reconsider. Remember you are a man, even if a very young one. Do everything possible to either date or merely sleep with her best friend. Hang around her as much as possible with a hurt, hang dog expression.

Here’s why. Women have been known to change their minds – but only if they start to see the man in question in a new light. Something about you currently just isn’t ring her chimes. But you can’t argue, beg or plead your way into her seeing you differently. What you can do is step back, reconsider and put a new game into play. Let me lay out some basic strategy for you:

When you begin to understand women and have more success, you start to realize that most women are not the type that you'd be happy with long term.

Make Yourself Scarce For Now

Don’t be too available, or even go near her (if possible) for the next two or three weeks. When you do see her be pleasant but have other things to do and other places to go. You are no longer available to fix her car, go see a movie another guy wouldn’t dream of, or to listen to her daily trials and tribulations. That will only cement you into the “friend” position, and the longer you stay there the harder it is to get out of it.

Don’t Call Her

Making yourself scarce means you shouldn’t be in contact in any way, and that includes phone calls, emails and instant messaging. If she contacts you for any reason do get back to her – but not right away, and be very brief when you do. If she calls, you email. You don’t want her to think you’re trying to get back at her, but you do want her to know your world doesn’t revolve around her (even if presently it does).

Stop Thinking About Her

This is tough but you’ve got to do it. If it means replacing her face with one of the hot chicks from “Lost” every time you think about her do it. Remember there are more fish in the ocean. There are other women out there who’ll catch your interest if you allow it to happen. The more you stay mentally focused on this one woman the more you’re going to psychically repel her with your sad pathetic longing energy. Let go. Really let go and open your mind up to new possibilities.

Get A Life

Yes this is easier said than done when you’re heartsick but you’ve got to buck up and do it. This is especially hard when you hang in the same group of friends, so it may entail making new ones. This is the time to dust off a passion and put new focus and interest into it. What is it that you’ve been dying to do again or try for the first time? Bungee Jump? Hike that local mountain? Get a pilot’s license? Go back to school? Note, when I said get a life I meant a winning life, not a losing life. This isn’t the time to sit your sorry ass on the couch and leave it there gorging yourself on fast food. The only way you’re going to get another go at this woman is to get her to realize she’s underestimated you. If you stay put on the couch you’re lucky she even pondered you in the first place.

Start Going Out

Once you start doing something you really love you’re going to feel better about yourself. That’s the time to start going out and honing your social skills with women. That’s also why you need some new friends to hang out with – you don’t want to be trying out your new pick up lines around the woman who only wanted to be your friend. She doesn’t need to see you at it when you’re still a bit crushed and feel you’ve still got training wheels on.

You May Contact Her Only When You Feel Great

Okay, here’s the deal, you can either contact her or be in the same group as her again – but only after you’re feeling much better than you ever imagined you could feel. Until then avoid her like the plague. She is not going to see you in a new light until you see yourself that way. Can you fake it? A bit. And do fake it if you happen to run into her too early. Don’t brag. Don’t talk about a fake new girlfriend. Just be pleasant, excited about some new interests and keep it short.

Once you’re feeling good, once you’re open to dating new women (or have in fact started to date new women), you can be in touch with her very briefly or you can hang a bit in the same group again. Only contact her with some interesting bit of information you thought she’d like to know (like where a band she’s really into is playing soon) – not that you miss her and are dying to see her. With this you remind her that you’re a thoughtful dude who knows her taste, but you’re not asking her out again. When you’re around her again don’t avoid being in her presence, but don’t push to be near here. Always ask how she is, tell her it’s good to see her, but don’t give her compliments and don’t engage in long conversation unless she backs you into a corner. Remember you have new exciting things going on.

When You Can Let Your Guard Down A Bit

You can relax a bit when she starts contacting you or seeking you out…but be careful. If she starts putting you in the friend role again because “no one understands her like you” head for the hills as quickly as you politely can. You are not her therapist; you’re a guy who wants to get lucky with her. If she starts paying you compliments, playing with her hair while she talks to you, and tilting her head to the side while talking to you she’s flirting. At that point tell her you’ve got to run at the moment but you’ve love to get together with her for coffee soon and you’ll call her.

Don’t ask her out on a romantic date and don’t call right away…give it a couple of days. You never want your presence in her life to be like a good old reliable doormat. When you get together don’t brag. If you’re seeing someone else (and good for you if you are) admit to it, but hold your cards close to your chest. Be mysterious and happy about your life. Tell her about the fun new things you’re up to and let her know it would be cool to do it together sometime.

Let her now be the one curious over whether she’s been put in the friend role.

Keep Her Off Balance

Perhaps it would be a little hard to read the whole article but be sure it will also be worthy of your tiredness.

One tactic that I think is important early in the meeting process with a woman is to ensure that you do not instill in her a sense of false security and stability.

Women are used to having the upper hand in all things having to do with relationships. I don't believe they do this maliciously, but it is a power and control issue with all dating situations.

I'm going to propose something very controversial, but I believe works out the best for everyone in the end:

Keep her off balance.

What I mean by this is that you do not want any woman feeling too secure or cocky about how you feel about her or the hold she's got on you.

This goes back to a key principle of human behavior: The things you are most attracted to are the ones that you are not certain about. Uncertainty breeds an incredible gratitude for the times when you're rewarded.

Training for the more intelligent animals (dolphins) is done by what is known as intermittent reinforcement. This means that once a behavior is trained, you will get more consistency by only rewarding an animal at irregular intervals - not every time. This has been proven time and time again in tests, and it's just as true for men and women.

You've probably experienced this in your own life. Have you ever had a woman who was inconsistent - or hot-and-cold - with her sexual interest? You never knew if you were going to get some. When you did, you felt the reward, but the other times when you didn't you were being trained because you were more likely to work for the POSSIBILITY of sex the next time. Perhaps work even harder.

If she wants a kiss, give her one, but not when she asks for it. Then, when she leans in for a kiss, you hold her off - nicely. 'Whoah, there. Are you trying to take advantage of me?' Another way to keep her on her toes is to always be ready to say something controversial. Then, a few seconds later, appear to say something to contradict it. (Be sure to never change your opinion to match a woman's. A far better tactic is to take an area where she agrees with you and change your mind on her.)

If you are talking to her, and she goes to the bathroom, disappear on her before she comes back, then walk over to her a few seconds later.

Inconsistency is the key to driving her desire up. Consistency only sends messages to her subconscious that you are a man she could RELY on, but that doesn't make her LUST after you.

You can use an analogy of rides at an amusement park: Consistency is the Ferris wheel. Ho hum. Boring. You go up, and around, and back down ... and up....

Nothing fast. Nothing unknown. Just a tall view and look around the area.

Nice, but NO thrills.

Inconsistency - Surprise, danger, thrills - are found on the ROLLERCOASTER. Get her in the front car and start her heart racing with the unknown.

You have to get her on the right ride if you want to get where you want to go.

Keep her off balance, so she doesn't know what's coming.

First of all, I think some ground rules are implicit in this article overall, which I'd like to cover with you again:

1) I'm going to tell you the Truth. And that's whether or not you like it, or agree with it. The only thing that matters in the world of dating and seduction is GETTING RESULTS. (As long as no one is harmed in the process.) I'm not going to fill your heads with the lies that Hollywood and prime-time television perpetuate. If you want to live in the illusion that makes you feel good, but keeps you from getting success with women, go ahead. Have a blast being unsuccessful.

Sarcasm aside, I know you want more and want to know how to do better.

2) My replies are sometimes obnoxious, but so is the dating world. Get used to it. I'm having fun with you guys the way I expect you would with women. If you can't take a little good natured ball-busting here, the singles world will eat you alive. Grow a thicker skin. I have made (and still make) all the same screw ups, and I only wish I'd had somebody to give me the straight shooting advice early on.

(Kinda like that intense Drill Instructor from 'Full Metal Jacket,' only not so harsh.)

3) This newsletter and the topics I write about are for the early stages of dating. 0-90 days or so. There are some strategies that I believe are valid throughout your dating life, but most are especially applicable during the early part, where you are laying the groundwork for a POSSIBLE dating relationship. If you don't establish respect during this time period, you never will. And then you'll be sending me pitiful emails asking how to 'put the spice back in our love life' and other queasy tales of suffering.

Save yourself the pain of therapy later on by never letting it get out of your control in the first place.

With that in mind, I got the following question:

A Question:
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Wouldn't that attitude of keeping her off balance ruin a marriage and put a lot of distrust in it ? After all it would be hindering her feelings of security.
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Well, first off, this is 'Dating Dynamics,' not 'Marriage Dynamics.' I've said countless times that you must use different strategies in the early days of dating than you do later on.

And, let's keep in mind that I'm not talking about constantly undermining trust. I'm not talking about acting sneaky or deceitful.

I'm talking about introducing an element of UNPREDICTABILITY.

Life is very predictable, almost boring in its regularity and consistency. Women don't thrive on the ordinary and usual - they enjoy the dramatic and thrilling. (Think: Soap operas, 'The Bachelor,' andy 'reality' TV show, etc.)

Everybody does. Why do you think we get so excited to rubberneck at an accident? Or how we all gravitate to talk about the lurid crimes of passion in the news? We need this drama to inject some excitement in what is a VERY predictable existence.

We're born. We go to school. We work. We pay taxes. We die.

Day to day, you pretty much know what's going to happen. We all wait for the possibility of the UNKNOWN. While there's always the possibility that anything COULD happen, it rarely does.

Let's talk about security for a minute.

What is 'security'?

Do human beings really thrive and grow in 'security'? No. We want security as part of a relationship so that we can:

1) Feel protected
2) Feel able to open up and share more intimacy

These 'security' requirements are only necessary in a long-term or exclusive relationship. And you can't possibly get to that stage without a certain amount of excitement and energy that only UNpredictability gives you. You can't get to this point without igniting the fuse of her PASSION.

PASSION and PREDICTABILITY are on the opposite ends of the spectrum.

If you try to make a woman feel too secure too fast, you ruin everything that she wants to feel when it comes to the excitement and unpredictability. When you give a woman too much 'security' early on, what you're telling her at a subconscious level is that there is nothing interesting or unpredictable about you. A woman needs to feel inspired to start feeling attraction for you.

It's like the starter motor on a car. When you turn the key, this little motor spins your engine quickly in a short period of time so that it can get to the point of firing up the cylinders on its own and start cranking under the power of burning fuel and oxygen.

Without that initial burst of energy, the engine would never get going. The same thing applies to women.

One of the biggest illusions about women and dating (and sex) is that women need to feel secure with a man before she will date him or sleep with him.

NOT TRUE.

How many times have you seen women sleeping with the guys who were bad-boys? How many women have you known who have had one-night-stands? (More than you think, and more than admit it.)

How many times have you seen a woman take in a deadbeat slacker without a job, who sleeps on her couch while she goes off to work? (It's not an epidemic, but it does happen quite a bit.)

How many times have you heard a woman complain: 'I just don't know why I love him ... he's so unstable and wild ... He's unpredictable. He's not the kind of guy I would marry...' But he's the kind of guy she would sleep with. Funny, huh?

' Sexy' and 'Security' are almost never spoken in the same sentence. They evoke totally different feelings in a woman. You'll never hear her say: 'Wow! He's so stable and reliable! I feel so secure and he totally TURNS me ON!'

NOT!

When she's ready to settle down, she'll do that with a man who is predictable and ... well, a little boring in certain ways. When she's ready to start a family, she wants that long-term security. That boredom is a signal to her primitive mind that this guy will be a provider and stick around. It's in her genetic imprint.

It's my firm belief that you can start a relationship off with a woman in one of two ways. Think of this as a fork in the road you come to when you meet a woman. There's a sign and an arrow pointing down each path, and here's what each sign says:

Path to the Right - 'Start off by getting her excited and thrilled. You turn her on with humor and teasing. She gets frustrated at times, but always stimulated. You're different than the other 50 guys who came on to her with no personality or challenge. Her attraction drive is engaged and she falls for you. You get to have sex, love, marriage -- whatever you want.'

Path to the Left - 'Start off by being a 'nice guy.' She sees you as another man who can't excite her by being a vibrant personality - sexually charged - and instead she begins to see you as a 'friend.' All because you couldn't get her excited enough to engage her attraction for you. You wind up wanting her romantically, and she ends up telling you she wants to 'just be friends.' You get neither sex nor the relationship.'Think about it again, guys. What do you want? The way it SHOULD BE, or the way it ACTUALLY IS?

Yeah, we all SHOULD BE getting laid all the time, by any woman we treat nicely and give flowers to, but it rarely happens that way. We SHOULD BE able to make a woman feel 'secure' and she'll just jump us in a heartbeat.

BUT ... it doesn't really work that way. So, while you weep and lament about that for a while, I think we should recognize that it's okay to not give a woman all the security she wants up front when it ALWAYS works out better in the long run to give her what she really NEEDS and responds to.

We're humans, with intelligent control of our emotions, but so few of us actually are ever able to get that control. Don't fall under the illusion that we respond emotionally to logic and reason. We don't respond to things because we SHOULD.

I may not have gone into much more detail on the strategy of keeping her a little off balance, but I think it was important to explain the reasons why, and so that we can start to get rid of that monkey on our backs, the one that tells us that if we don't cater to a woman's every whim and need (i.e., 'security,' 'romance.')

In the early stages with a woman, SECURITY = BORING.

Security comes later.

Passion FIRST.