There comes a point in everybody’s adult dating lives when they have heard every generic break up cliche in the book. There also comes a point where everybody should snap and point out these statements for what they really are: COWARDLY LIES. Here are a few break up lies we should all give the middle finger to.
“It’s Not You, It’s Me”
Really? Even toddlers know this is a bullsh*t lie. Of course, it’s me, asshole! Just call it for what is really is. You want out out of this relationship and I don’t. Was that really that hard?
“There’s Plenty Of Fish In The Sea.”
I hate when friends say this to you. It’s like they assume you have no concept of the fact that this world is full of millions of people walking the Earth. I know there are plenty of “fish” to choose from, Jackass!
“I Need To Focus On My Career Right Now.”
This one really cracks me up. It’s kind of like the excuse kids give their parents when they’re trying to avoid doing the chores around the house. “But Mom, I really need to focus on my homework!” What they really mean to say is that they see maintaining this relationship as a tedious chore. Funny how they have no qualms about neglecting their “careers” when trying to get you in bed.
“It’s Their Loss.”
Really? Because I thought I was the one that was dumped? Isn’t it MY loss? I hate when friends say this to you. It’s like they are trying to make you think the person who dumped you is upset that they let you go. Why would they purposely LOSE something they really wanted. *Sigh*
“I love You, But I’m Not In Love With You.”
What they really mean to say is that, “I was attracted to you for a while. However, I just realized how much hotter my now single ex is than you.”
“You’re Too Good For Me.”
This one always makes me laugh when I hear it. Bad boys are prone to saying this phrase to all their conquest. Relationships are not full-time jobs. You shouldn’t be “over qualified” to be loved by someone.
“Can We Just Be Friends?”
When someone says this to you, what they really mean is: “I don’t want to date you anymore, but I have no problem having sex with you from time to time.”
The next time you hear any of these phrases, give the person the middle finger. If someone can’t even say the truth about how they feel or don’t feel about you, then they are better out of your life anyway.