Yesterday, I had to endure one of the most excruciating films any adult can sit through and if you guessed The Smurfs, you are correct! The only thing I found remotely enjoyable of this puke-inducing film was that the smurfs were prone to using the word ‘smurf” for curse words. These little smurfers didn’t give a smurf when it came to their potty mouths. And why should they? They come from a town that gang-smurfs Smurfette probably on an everyday basis. (Seriously, why is there only ONE female smurf? That thought disturbs me.)
It got me thinking about how it would be like to dirty talk like the smurfs do. Read the following phrases and practice them at home for fun or if you can’t say the real words because you’re in front of your children. Have a xxx smurfing good time!
I love the taste of your smurf. It tastes so smurfing good.
Never stop smurfing me!
I want to suck your big smurfing smurf.
I want your smurf so bad, you’re giving me blue smurfs.
I want you to smurf all over me. Smurf on my face!
Flick my smurf! Finger my smurf too. Oh yeah, that feels so smurfing good.
Oh smurf! Oh smurf! Oh Smurf!
Smurf me harder!
I want to bust my smurf berry all over you.
Use Your Smurf on me.
Say my name smurf!
Who’s Your Papa Smurf?
No smurf has ever been inside this deep.
Do you want me to put my smurf in your smurf?
Smurf me like a cowgirl!
I’m going to smurf you and smurf you until you smurf.
I love it when you nibbles on my smurfs.
Don’t you dare smurf until I say you can smurf!
I’m going to smurf you like a lollipop.
Do you like the way I smurf you, baby?
Make me scream like the naughty smurfette I am!
Smurf yourself. Let me watch.
I want you to smurf in my mouth.
Play With My Smurf!
Maybe You should smurf me, I’ve been really bad.
You can have any smurfhole you want.
Smurf me in the smurf! I can take it!
I want to smurf you. I want to smurf you like I never smurfed anybody before.